AIBU to consider letting 8 year old DD change her name?

[EmmalinaC]

Her name is Elsa.

We chose it for her because it's beautiful and classic and unusual without being weird.

She was thrilled when Frozen first came out but in the past year she has been made completely miserable by the constant, relentless let-it-go-do-you-wanna-build-a-snowman comments and teasing.

I know it's a hugely popular film, Elsa is a princess not a reindeer and DD even looks like an Elsa so it probably seems very harmless but it's not just other children - even adults (including her swimming teacher every lesson) comment and sing to her.

She's always been very confident and resilient - she's been teased about her glasses for years but she thinks they make her look clever so it's water off a duck's back! - but this is really, really getting her down.

She goes to a good school and has a fantastic teacher who I know will deal with it within her class group and make it stop - but that's only a small part of the problem when it comes from everyone she meets - and everyone thinks they're being terribly original and witty!

Last night DH took her to the panto at Wimbledon Theatre and she was asked if she wanted to be one of the children who goes onto the stage with Tim Vine. She got really upset and flatly refused which is very unlike her. When DH asked her why she said 'the first thing he will do is ask me my name, then he'll make a joke about it, and the whole theatre will laugh at me.'

This morning she asked me if she could change her name to something similar like Ellie or Ella, or use her middle name, which is pretty and unremarkable.

I can't see that this is going to end any time soon because Frozen Frenzy shows no sign of abating and I don't know how to help her deal with it so AIBU to consider letting her change her name? Or use a different name when she meets new people?

Makes me that the name we chose for her is making her so sad and embarrassed.

Agree with everyone else that she should start using a version if her real name and ask authority figures eg swimming coach, teacher etc to respect that.

I also agree with a pp that she needs to start getting rougher with unoriginal morons. My name is in a very famous song. Honestly, the number of times that song has been used to serenade me with very type of tone from poor deluded men genuinely believing they were being original and romantic to sarcastic twits who thought it was funny to try make me uncomfortable. I mastered the eye roll and sarcastic comment "wow, that's never been done before" (or various versions depending on how mean I wanted to be) very early on.

I wouldn't go for Elsie, Elsa is so, so much nicer.
Just let her have a nickname if she wants like Ellie- or use her middle name.

Just teach her to respond to the comments with something like

"Wow your original, haven't heard that one before"

Or "that wasn't funny the first time I heard it"

and she was asked if she wanted to be one of the children who goes onto the stage with Tim Vine

I would surprised if anyone would want to take up that offer.

I agree with pps - Elle/Ellie/Ella etc could easily be used as a nickname.

Looking on the bright side, when she's in her forties everyone will assume she's much younger than she is because they'll think she's named after the film .

On a more practical note, I agree with letting her start using some sort of diminutive (I think Ellie or Ella are both nice names) or her middle name, and maybe having a quiet word with relevant adults. Her school friends won't change overnight (or maybe ever), but it would get round the issue in the theatre, for example.

She can call herself whatever she likes without ANY need to do anything legal
if she has a middle name of a variant of her name that she prefers, start using it

you can call yourself whatever you like so long as its not for the purposes of fraud

PS
Feel sorry for the 18 year old I know of called Harry Potter.
He was three when the first book came out.
He is christened Harry but has actually changed his usage name to Henry for the next few years.

Elsa is beautiful. DD is an Ellie (well, an Eleanor) but she kind of became a princess as she went from Ellie to Ellie Bell to just 'Belle'. She's 17 now and still mostly known as Belle or Bells by family (used to get some judgy looks from people who I assume thought I'd named her after a Disney movie though).
I do recall aged 8 she wanted to change her name to Rosa Barbie. To this day I have no idea why

Hopefully the frozen hype will all die down after Christmas as has been said. Seems a shame to change such a beautiful name.

Difficult one. I don't think there's anything wrong with choosing a new nickname if she'd prefer to be called by another variant of Elsa, but it'll be difficult to get people to call her by it without making A Big Thing of it (which will attract a new kind of teasing).

I do know how she feels. If I call myself by my nickname (which is the first half of a popular alcoholic beverage), I can predict that approximately 8 out of 10 new acquaintances will immediately mention the connection, and about half of those will decide to call me by the brand name from then on.

Having to feign amusement gets tedious, but it's preferable to seeming rude or joyless. I did try to revert to my full first name when I started at university (which seemed like the cleanest break I'd ever have with the old name), but people instinctively shortened my name even after I'd asked them not to, and went from there to the brand name.

Can you try explaining to her that most people (especially adults) just use interesting names as a starting-point for conversation, and it's just their clumsy and unoriginal way of engaging with her when they don't know what else to say? If they weren't making Frozen comments, they'd probably be complimenting her on her hair clips.

Class is a different matter - it can be very frustrating to spend months on the receiving end of jokes that weren't even funny the first time you heard them. It's probably worth speaking to the teacher about that. If she's reasonably assertive, I'd also encourage your DD to tell her classmates that they've worn the Frozen jokes out and just change the subject whenever it comes up (provided that she can do so in a brusque and breezy manner without getting upset).

I think Elsa is a lovely name because it's my mother's name. However it does seem to be unfortunate as Elsa was also the name of the lion in Born Free.

That film came out in 1966 and people were still singing 'Born Free' at her in the mid 1990s All of them were amazed this was not the first time she'd heard it

However it is a lovely name and next year or the year after there will be a new Frozen and it will die down. As you get older you do meet fewer new people and they also have to behave (I also got a song attached to my name which drove me mad) so the singing does stop.

If you call her Ella at home you can try that for introductions to new people for a while until the frenzy dies down a bit but Elsa is a wonderful name. Might she like knowing about the lion?

It's hard to imagine now but it will die down.

Someone in my family decided to go by a different name for a while when she was at school due to being called Katrina, just at the time when hurricane Katrina was devasting the USA. Even though we're not in the USA, it was the same for her - constant references and jokes to the hurricane! She just couldn't take it any more.

Several years down the line, it's all forgotten and she's back to her usual name.

I think I'd go with its your name, beautiful name etc and there'll be another film along soon. I really think changing her name is completely ott. and I'd similar experience myself as child for over a yr so I do know how she feels.

future names to avoid:

Riley and Dory

(based on Pixar's upcoming releases)

Just give her some quippy one liners like

"You are so clever and witty! Why, you're the first person I've heard that from"

"Come up with that all on your own, did ya?"

"Don't quit your day job to be a comedian"

"Wow! Have you ever thought of auditioning for the Voice?"

Let her know it's ok to express that she's tired of the jokes. I wouldn't change her name though, it wouldn't do any good if all the kids already know her name.

Poor love- tell her swimming teacher to stop - rude person. I wouldnt call her anything but Elsa - I would just keep telling her that is a beautiful name for a beautiful girl and thats why you chose it.
My name is Julie - I had to out up with Shaking Steven 'Oh Wow Julie' - I would still probably slap you if you sang it to me now!
But it will pass and people will get bored.

Let your daughter be proud of her name. There was that well known British actress Elsa Lanchester 1902-1986 who was sooo good. She was always a supporting actress and I enjoyed her work.

If she wants to change it, let her. Her name, her choice. She can always change back again later.

Nothing wrong with Ellie, Ella, Elsie etc.

I bought some felt tip pens to use at work and because they are 'frozen' have been serenaded for two weeks and I am ready to kill

Aww my daughters name is also Elsa, she is also 8. She gets the jokes as well but it doesn't really bother her, in fact I think she quite likes it! The film will become less popular in time, loads of people have names associated with films, famous people etc. I think you'd be crazy to let her change it but that's just my opinion, maybe if my Elsa was more bothered I would think differently.

I would let her introduce herself as Ellie, or whatever she chooses to new people and have a word with the class teacher and say that that is what she wants to be known as now. The children will soon get used to it. My dd2 is at school with a little girl (8) who has always been called Harriet. After the summer holidays she announced that she now wanted to be called Hattie instead. Very quickly she has become Hattie to everyone. I know its not quite the same thing, but it has worked.

I was constantly called Lizzie Dripping when I was 5/6/7 but no one made the association after about the age of 9/10. Let her shorten her name to Elle, Ellie for now, the Frozen craze will eventually abate

There is a woman in our town I used to be friends with who cuts me dead because my dd passed the 11+ and hers didn't. The girls concerned are now 19.............

And that is on entirely the wrong thread- sorry!

Haklyut