Private v state school

[Beautifulbabyboy]

Right this thread is not what you think, it is NOT about which is better blah blah....

However, I have been talking to my friends, who are a mixed bunch some have kids going to state school some have kids going to private school. There seems to be an over-riding concern by those who are sending their kids to state schools, that even if they could afford the private school fees they still wouldn't be able to "keep with the Jones's".... And would feel uncomfortable re kids parties/what car they drive etc....

This hadn't crossed my mind... I don't care if my family is the richest or poorest at what ever school they end up going to. AIBU? Would this bother you?

For complex reasons, my sister went to a private secondary that was 90% boarding. She was a day girl as it was local and my parents couldnt have afforded boarding anyway. I was at the local comp. i remember her moaning endlessly about how poor we were (comfortable middle class family actually who were very lucky with nice house, foreign holiday in summer, no objective needs unfulfilled, loving parents etc) and how all her friends were better off. You know, £50 a week spending money, designer clothes , endless skiing trips etc et c. She totally lost her real life perspective. It has returned now, but it took some time!! She didn't seem to appreciate going to a good school thwt was academically strong, amazing facilities, really nuturing and the rest.

manina
Can I give a slightly different take on that...
My brother was in the rugby team, and they had tours to South Africa, Barbados and Japan. But his contribution for his place was pro rata'd to his overall bursary, so he got a big discount, and then there was an additional fund if parents couldn't make up the remainder.

And I was really into riding, so started off riding the school's horses (yes, they had their own riding school on the grounds). The first hour a week was free as part of PE lessons, and any subsequent hours were paid for.
We lived in a v rural village, and a horse breeder who lived nearby retired and sold us a horse very cheaply (think a few hundred pounds instead of a few thousand), and I was able to take her to school and keep her at the stables for free, because they used her for the PE lessons. I then got to ride her for free the rest of the time, so didn't have to pay anything, unless I wanted to enter shows at the weekends.

Another one here teaching her DS that we won't be attempting to keep up with any Jones families. DS goes to an independent but we are up north and it's all very down to earth. About 1/3rd of the year didn't go on the optional school trip to France in the holidays. Most parents work as doctors, lawyers, accountants, no proper 'posh'. [cgrin]

Are you really going to allow what people you don't know yet may or may not think about you dictate your choices in life?

My children never want to go on all kinds of exciting school trips I'd love them to do and can afford, at their private schools. One did a rugby trip to Italy and said it was theft of his half term. Their school also does a swap with schools in I think China and Singapore - wonderful opportunity, but they aren't interested. So don't assume everyone is going on all the trips and also don't assume those not going are not going because of money. We do go on some reasonably holidays as a family anyway so may be mine just feel they enjoy those and those are enough.