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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how often you have sex?

84 replies

MinnieM1 · 08/12/2014 11:25

What the title says really, how often do you & your husband have sex? Also how old are you and how long have you been together?

OP posts:
realale · 08/12/2014 16:34

Me 63.
DH 67.
Together 43 years.
Every 10 days or so.

kublaikhan · 08/12/2014 18:19

Me 35
Him 38
Been together 7 years.
Not enough for me - maybe once every month - 6 weeks. Mostly he struggles to get it up and/or to come so even if we start something we're both paranoid and tense and rush it so it just gets more crap. Even 6 months apart (army) didn't spark his libido so I've pretty much given up tbh though I get very pissed off and frustrated. Not great for either of us.

SpringBreaker · 08/12/2014 18:23

me 44
him 32

6 months together

every couple of days

with my ex husband, who was 8 years older than me, together 12 years, sex every 6 months or less.. and that was pretty much from the time we got together

FTRsGotAShinyNewNN · 08/12/2014 18:27

Me-30
DH-35
Together 14 years
He works away during the week and comes home most weekends (armed forces) with 3-8 month deployments every 1-2 years but when he's home it's usually everyday, there have been periods where it's been less but I'd say our norm is everyday that he's home and I honestly still fancy the pants off him Wink

dun1urkin · 08/12/2014 18:42

Me: 38
Him: 41
Been together 14 years
Once a week although I would like twice a week
It's nearly always very good quality porking though, and I think if I insisted on more the standards might slip Grin

pregnantpause · 08/12/2014 18:56

Together 10 years married 5 - I'm 28 dh 38

Min once a week max 4. ATM we're averaging twice a week. He'd like more. He has a very high sex drive , but I think he's happy. I am. Years ago when we first had dc and the sex stopped being daily and nightly we went through a hard period- he really struggled to adjust. In the end we stopped altogether as I found that a nagging sex pest is impossible to find sexy. Thank god we worked through that.

SocialMediaAddict · 08/12/2014 19:21

41 and 42. 4 kids. Not enough.

SocialMediaAddict · 08/12/2014 19:22

3 kids even. Jesus feels like 4. Been together 21 years.

Bowlersarm · 08/12/2014 19:30

Been together 28 years. (Aged 50). Sometimes 3 times a week, sometimes once a week, sometimes 0 times a week. Every day/every other day on holiday. Never when I have a period or feeling pre menstrual. Average out at probably once or twice a week. DH would like it more often, but it's not an issue between us.

mrspremise · 08/12/2014 19:35

Mid Thirties

once or twice a week, more in the holidays Wink

WhatWouldBlairWaldorfDo · 08/12/2014 19:38

Im 28
Dp 33
Together 18mths, no kids yet.

Probably average every other day. Some times more sometimes less. Sometimes we just 'do bits' but no PIV.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 08/12/2014 19:42

Yes YABU to ask. Mind yer own

WorkEatSleepRepeat · 08/12/2014 20:38

Me 27 Him 29

Together 8 years, married for 4, 3 DC.

Hardly ever, though the last time was on Saturday before that it was weeks ago. If we do anything it tends to be other stuff but not PIV, though other 'stuff' tends to be sporadic too.

We are both suffering from depression at the moment and are both knackered in general but DH has openly admitted he prefers to masturbate rather than have sex Sad. All DCs were away at the weekend for the first time in 6 months and we had sex on the Saturday night but on the Sunday morning when DH woke up with an erection he went off and had a wank. After I woke up and tried to initiate sex he told me he'd already sorted himself out. I don't have a problem with him masturbating, I know he does it frequently, but I do have a problem with the situation at the moment. Knowing he would prefer to 'sort himself out' rather than have sex makes me feel really unhappy.

I have always had the higher sex drive and in the early days sex was frequent, but it soon became less. Rarely we have periods of having sex 1 - 2 times a day for a few days. I don't know what to do about it, I've tried to talk to him about it and we agree that we will both try harder but it never changes.

kaffkooks · 08/12/2014 21:10

Both in early 30s married for 6.5 years with a 2 year old son. About twice a week. Actually more now than pre baby as I'm not working shifts and not on the pill as that really killed my sex drive.

arethereanyleftatall · 08/12/2014 21:24

40s.
Together 15 years.
2 young kids.
Sex 6 times per year, max.
Very happily married.

shouldkeepquiet · 08/12/2014 21:35

ME 44 wife 36 been together 15 years, so far in 2014 Feb, April and July...that's it. Same last year and i guess next year will be the same.Happy days!

JadziaSnax · 08/12/2014 21:38

Me 41, him 51. Once a month or less - have been together 23 years. Gets me down a bit as he just isn't interested. He's a lovely man, he just has a low libido and it's difficult not to take it personally.

CheeseBuster · 08/12/2014 21:40

Me mid twenties, him early thirties. Together 6 years.

2-3 times a day, occasionally less if DP has an early morning meeting/one of us is tired etc. so I'd say 3 times a day on 3 weekdays and then maybe twice on the other two. Some of these are quickies and morning sex is always a cozy lazy affair to wake the other up.

Weekends can be more or less depending on what we have planned. I'd say once a month we have a major sesh of going to bed straight after dinner and not getting out until dinner the next day.

Can you tell we don't have a telly Blush?

Drania · 08/12/2014 21:58

I'm 24, he is 27. About one a week/3 times a month. We've been together almost five years, married for two.

I have developed a condition that makes it excruciatingly painful to have sex, which means I also have a low libido as I just can't get excited about it anymore. It was about 5 to 6 times a week until two and a half years ago! It's slowly getting better though.

nokidshere · 08/12/2014 22:01

Me: 54
Him:61
together 34 years.

almost every day.

When I had periods, when the children were small, when I was pregnant it was a little more erratic. Now its great fun - menopause is very liberating ;)

DoraGora · 08/12/2014 22:02

If it's that painful to have sex, can't you improvise? Maybe read the titwank thread Grin

Sorry, that was supposed to be a sensible suggestion.

SinisterBuggyMonth · 08/12/2014 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pasithea · 08/12/2014 22:59

I think it also depends on what counts as sex. Touching cuddling massaging or is it only sex if it ends in penetration and or orgasm.

CheeseBuster · 09/12/2014 00:56

I don't think cuddling/massage counts as sex in anyone's book pasithea but that is a good point. I based my answer on PIV sex but I know a lot of couples do more oral and touching- what is the name for that? Fingering/handjobs doesn't sound very sexy, there must be a proper term Confused

Newlywed2013 · 09/12/2014 01:29

Also like a pp I can't due to pain,
Both 25 married 18months together 6 years! Took 3 months to be able to consummate the marriage funnily enough got pregnant that time! Got. 3mo baby now and not had sex since!
Due to pain it has put me off! We still have sexual contact just maybe every other week.
Our relationship was never based on sex and it doesn't bother us too much but it is frustrating at times!