AIBU to be angry with DS' father?

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

ExP has our DS one night and two days a week, one day during the week and one night at weekend and the consecutive day.

This weeks overnight was Saturday night but he mentioned how it was his works Xmas do on that night so he wouldn't be able to go. I told him to go and have a good time, I would keep DS but to make sure he didn't get arseholed to the point he couldn't drive and pick DS up in the morning. I told him he could have a little lie in and to pick DS up at 8.30 instead of the usual 7am.

Anyway, this morning has arrived and I get a text at 8.45am telling me I needed to drop DS off (20min drive). He'd had too much to drink and couldn't drive.

I got there and told him that from now on he would need to plan his social life around the one night a week he has DS as he clearly couldn't limit himself and that impacts on DS' time with his Dad.

Anyway he went off on one saying that he always does me favours by having DS at the weekend so I could go out?! In my view, he has DS one night a week, not so I can go out but so he can spend time with his son!

He finished by saying he would have DS every Sunday night so I couldn't go out as I was giving him such a hard time about having a drink on his night off! it wasn't his night off, it was his night to have DS and I did him a favour.

AIBU here? He does irritate me and sometimes it's hard for me to see if I'm being harsh on him or not.

A works Christmas do is booked weeks if not months in advance to give you a days notice in December is madness therefore YNBU. It appears he knew didn't arrange anything and at the last minute he needed help in that case if he needed to stay sober to pick up then he should have.
If he wanted to get ratarsed he should have asked to swap contact days when he agreed to go to the party.
Anyone who thinks the op is unreasonable is just plain bonkers. She did a favour he was late and not in a fit state to drive v irresponsible

Thanks for the supportive replies, and I'm taking into consideration the YABU responses too.

I attempted to apologise to him when he dropped DS off however, he just "whatever'd" me and left. As the story always goes.

Well, I've let it go now as I'm getting used to his last minute, doesn't think about consequences attitude. Whenever I try and talk to him about it, he just belittles me and tells me to 'stop mouthing at him'. (which I rarely do, as I don't want my DS surrounded by shouting, etc).

I think I need to meditate or something, get to a place where I don't let his actions get to me!

Yanbu happy and I also feel you're getting a rough ride here.

You made an agreement with your ex which he was happy with and he then changed the plan. When you complained he turned it all around on you! Sounds like a charmer.

If he wanted to get smashed and have a proper lay-in, at the the very least he could have been honest with you. He's an adult too and obviously more than capable of speaking up if the plans don't suit him.

Good luck with the rising above it, never easy but worth it for your mental wellbeing. If you find the key to it, please do let me know

Urgh he sounds like an immature, spoilt prick. Sorry you have to deal with him but I admire you avoiding shouting around your ds.

OP I can't believe the others in this thread! He blew off his child! It's not anything to really have a row about but you are totally in the right to be ticked off!

Zombie thread.

Zombie Alert!

ZOMBIE