Aibu to think that being beautiful is a disadvantaged

[Starbucksguardian]

Was watching the 10 hrs walking in nyc as women video and it got me thinking being beautiful Is actually a disadvantage. If you are male or female your more likely to be disliked (jealousy). Also people are more likely to want to put you into situations were you are pressured into having sex.

Nothing as far as I can see.

I'd rather be beautiful than ugly, but it does seem to be quite a burden.

Of all the people I know/have known in RL there is only one person I would say is a true 10. She is a friend, not a best friend, but I do see her a couple of times a year. Tbh i don't like going out in public with her much. She is always the centre of attention; not because she seeks it but because people are just stunned by her. It actually becomes intrusive and complete strangers can't seem to stop themselves coming over, commenting, just wanting to be in her company. This is when we're with our husbands too. It's not that I mind being overlooked when I'm with her exactly although you do become invisible in the company of someone who looks like that, it's just that you become public property and it's very annoying.

I would find it too much,but maybe if you have always been beautiful you haven't know any different so just accept it as part of your life.

Speaking as an ugly women, I think being beautiful is definitely a disadvantage in the longer term.

I've known a couple of really stunning women in my life and I wouldn't have changed places with them.

The first women was lovely, but she was completely unaware of how much she coasted through life because of her looks. For example we were once discussing getting through the train station with a suitcase and I was complaining about all the stairs. She was astonished that nobody helped me to carry my suitcase and she said 'But somebody always comes and helps me'. I thought to myself "no s* sweetheart!"

Nice for her now but I can't help thinking it's going to come as a real shock to her when she is older and her looks fade.

The second women I met when she was in her mid 30s. She was annoyed that she'd not been able to find someone to settle down with. I was surprised too considering how beautiful she was.

Later I realised that no man was ever quiet good enough for her in her mind because, for her at least, men were always in plentiful supply. Deep down she knew she could go out to any bar or pub and meet someone else. When she was dating someone she always had other options, so she was never able to 'settle'.

I've also noticed that sometimes, not always, but sometimes, beautiful women can be shunned by other women because of jealousy. Most women are not that ignorant but I have seen it happen.

I think I much prefer being plain.

I don't think so. It usually has advantages.

That video is more about the behaviour of the men.

"Was watching the 10 hrs walking in nyc as women video and it got me thinking being beautiful Is actually a disadvantage."
The arses who hassled her didn't do it because she was beautiful, they did it because she was a young woman. You seem to have missed the point of the video.

" If you are male or female your more likely to be disliked (jealousy)."
If someone is so shallow/demented to dislike someone else because of their looks, you wouldn't want to be around them anyway. And I sincerely douby many are jealous of the beautiful.

"Also people are more likely to want to put you into situations were you are pressured into having sex."
Being pressured into sex is rape. Rape is NEVER about attraction, it is about power.

YABU.

you have totally missed the point of that video

sexual harassment effects all women - not just 'beautiful' ones - because it's not actually caused by 'beautiful' women

neither is rape

hth

As others have said, you have missed the point of the video.

Cat calling isn't about the woman in question being beautiful, it is about intimidation.

I feel your pain.

OP. Tell that to Amal Clooney.

I think there are different level of attractiveness but women being very pretty I am sure they get a lot of attention from men. A disadvantage? um I don't think it is unless that person is shy and doesn't like the attention.

YANBU - being stunningly beautiful makes my life so hard, but we all have our cross to bear I suppose.

The woman in that video is not beautiful. She is young, she is wearing tight clothing and has nice curves. The dickheads think this is fair game to say whatever they want to her. Pure intimidation, nothing to do with looks whatsoever. I can guarantee these type of men would do the same to me and I'm not beautiful.

You are very naive to think that true beauty isn't vastly advantageous when it really matters.

Yeah, I've always found it a right fucking bind.

what is nice about men leering at you

it is horrible

Men leering has nothing to do with being beautiful.

It's not a disadvantage of being beautiful, it's a a disadvantage of being a woman.

Not to be disparaging I think the point of that video was that she was not particularly 'beautiful?' and that this was the abuse that women were experiencing doing their typical day to day in NYC. Still who am i to say what is beautiful my husband thinks I'm beautiful, I think my kids are beautiful, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all of that.

I think if you are model beautiful it's a huge advantage.

If you are less beautiful than this but more beautiful than average its a huge disadvantage in life, mainly because of jealousy and people assuming you love yourself or that you're stupid.

That woman wasn't stunning, just averagely pretty. Just shows you don't have to be beautiful to get such attention. I used to get the same, I suppose you get used to it, but it is harassment.

Totally agree that the OP has totally missed the point of that video. That woman was simply a young woman getting hassle for being a young woman. She is attractive but not 'beautiful', the men are just creeps.

In general attractive people have many advantages, the odds are stacked in their favour. That isn't always very good for them, and of course there are some issues too, but it's definitely better to be beautiful than ugly, and most women work quite hard to make themselves look 'better' so there are obviously perceived advantages to looking good/attractive.

I had a very good friend at school who was thought of as beautiful and got lots of attention (she really did turn heads). It was quite funny to hang out with her. I'd say that the advantages probably outweighed the issues, and in any case she got a lot less grief than the girl who happened to have huge breasts, and the difference was that she could quite easily play down her attractiveness but the other girl could never really hide her breasts.

On the sex thing, I don't think it's being beautiful, half the time, in the wrong company; it's being there in the first place!

Guys can probably talk to Bubba, in the shower room, about a similar problem.

Being harassed is not about being beautiful.

It is not about sexual desire.

It is about a desire to control or to intimidate.

Hmmn. You run the risk of being harassed, shunned, whatever, wherever you are in a social situation where you are unusual and new, especially if you are female.

If you are a great beauty or supermodel-esque, on a yacht in the South of France, you are unlikely to be bullied for your looks. If you are really clever and right wing, you will probably be shunned if you live in the middle of an ex mining community (sorry), or worse still, move there without having gone to school there or similar.