AIBU to ask for your best examples of times when the customer most definitely hasn't been right? (Lighthearted).

[KitKat1985]

Just that really. During my student days I did a number of crappy customer service jobs to enable me to afford to study (supermarkets, cafes, that type of thing). Now although most members of public are fine, there were definitely some who were ridiculously difficult, or would come up with the most stupid complaints. I was recently reminded of a incident when I was working in a café and we had a special of the day of four cheese pasta, which was under display under the hotplate. A customer ordered a portion which was served to her and she went to eat it at a table. A couple of minutes later she came back to the counter to complain about it. When asked by the manager what was wrong with it she said it was "too cheesy". What would you expect from a four cheese pasta?

Anyway, since it's cold and I can't be bothered to go out, I thought I'd ask the good people of Mumsnet if you had any more funny examples of times when the customer most definitely hasn't been right to help cheer up my cold afternoon with a slightly grumpy teething baby.

On fitting room duties at New Look when I was 17, a woman came out of a cubicle huffing and puffing and grumbled "There's something wrong with the sizes in here. I'm a size 12 everywhere else, but this skirt won't go over my knees". I looked at the item of clothing and realised that she was actually trying to squeeze a boob tube over her thighs. How I didn't burst out laughing I don't know?

How the hell do you charge companies for your letters? What do you do, send your own made up invoice to customer services?

Years ago when I worked on the information desk at a large museum in London, a gentleman shouted at me because I wouldn't take his hotel keys and hand them back. I wouldn't have minded but there was no way of identifying which hotel he was staying in......

The customer we had it was just a stroppy demand in the last paragraph, IIRC he wanted £25 plus the cost of the envelope and stamp or something MsA.

Years ago I went into KFC and there was a woman at the counter complaining that the family size bucket of chicken she'd bought was frozen and she wanted a refund.

The bloke behind the till asked her if she'd bought the bucket of chicken back in with her.

No, she said, they'd eaten it.

I used to work in a well-known high street card shop. One guy brought a shitload of stuff to the till, all the kind of overpriced mass-produced cutesy teddy bear stuff that people go nuts over around Valentines Day. The same stuff that is clearly marked with the price (as it tends to be set by the manufacterer). He had a bunch of mates with him and was clearly trying to prove something (no idea what, they were teddies ffs).

Anyway... I rang the lot through and it came to like £76. He kicked off about that for a start. Then he gave me four £20 notes, which I duly checked because there were a lot of fakes going around. He then started having a massive go at me, accusing me of being racist, saying I was only checking the notes because he was black. Luckily my manager was next to me and stepped in to point out that she was checking a note given to her by a white customer too...

Oh, and someone once paid for £15 worth of goods entirely in 5ps. While the shop was rammed on a Saturday leading up to Christmas. Straight up dickhead.

These are great.
A friend who works in a bank had a customer, some years ago, who asked for a new cheque book, she searched high and low...he was in the wrong bank.
I saw a woman in Boots, one day, almost in (sulky) tears, while the staff member, a manager and the girl's partner tried to explain an offer to her.
I'm not sure what the problem was, but she just couldn't understand whatever it was, and obviously felt hard done by...
Oh, and a guy who got the wrong bus, went up shouting at the driver, discovered he was completely wrong, then had to stand there for ages, face aflame, while the bus trundled slowly to the next stop so that he could escape...

Ooh ooh and it's not quite the same but it was excellent... I also worked in a photo developing place and this guy once came in and in the quietest voice ever asked "what's your policy on developing...soft porn?"

We did not have a policy but we definitely took the film. And we were usually too busy to look at the photos while they were processing but we definitely looked at these. The most explicit thing was a bare bum half-covered by a satin scarf. Very disappointing.

Slightly different.

I went to a hardware store to buy paint stripper. I wanted to be sure that it wouldn't attack the metal underneath the paint. The guy in the shop and I read the label over twice but it said nothing about being safe to use on metal. After a bit, the "Saturday boy" in the shop (aged about 16) said "If it attacked metal, they wouldn't sell it in tins!"

Were we grateful? Were we buggery.

Working in big name designer luxury shop.
Very flashy lady comes in complaining her bag had broken, new boyf only got it last week and she wants a new one. She produces bag with broken strap, it is a £20 market bag impersonating our £1200 bag. She refuses to believe it is a fake, boyf is well known business man don't you know? We point out how incredibly different it is from the one in the store and that it is not even real leather, the logos, linings, everything is different but she can't see it. After well over an hour she refuses to leave until we at least send bag off to be fixed. We explain that if we sent bag and it is fake we can't return it or compensate her etc. Manager saw bag before the collection and put it straight in bin said it would be too embarrassing to send to head office!

This was very common story, anyone receiving high end gifts be warned. Also be warned if you are giving fakes. Another lady on discovering her bag was fake came bag with her husband and made him buy her three of the real bags in different leathers.

Had a woman rant and rave at me when I pointed out that her passport was out of date when she tried to use it as ID for buying foreign currency for her holiday the next week.

I'm probably being really thick here, but surely a passport (whether in date or not) is probably one of the most secure forms of ID? Yes, you can't travel on an out of date one, but you are still the same person identified in it, whether it's expired or current?

Absolutely...but she wouldn't be able to go on holiday abroad with it when it was expired :)

I work in a nice London quality cocktail bar. We have a great selection of cutting edge cocktails developed by bartenders with many years of experience. We are happy to make whatever people ask for if we have the ingredients. Most of our customers are brilliant and embrace the brilliant drinks we make, but I've had a couple of people who take a two second look at our lovely menu and ask me 'do you make proper cocktails like sex on the beach?'.

I have to grit my teeth, suggest something from the menu that's sweet and vodka based and, lo and behold, they always love it!

Another is people who come and say 'I'd like the same cocktail I had when I went to a bar in Leeds'

Me: do you know what it's called?
Customer: no
Me: do you know what was in it?
Customer: no...but I think it had vodka in it

My ex worked in curry's, a woman purchased a toaster at Christmas time one year, come boxing day morning she was waiting outside the store for it to open because the toaster didn't work and 'her Christmas dinner had been ruined'. The mind boggles as to what they eat for Christmas dinner in her house ....

At the gym I heard a woman complaining to the manager that her iPod was ruined. She explained that she had put it in the drinks holder of the running machine and there had been water spilt in the holder and now her iPod did not work. She said this had happened with her last iPod too so now she wanted the gym to buy her a new iPod. The manager tried to explain very politely that the drinks holder was intended for water bottles and not iPods and that it is quite common for the holders to get a little damp.

As a police officer I routinely deal with prats 'customers' who have the wrong end of the stick...
My favourites are

1. when we've had to close a road for whatever reason, so there is a marked police vehicle with flashing lights, a Bobby (me) stood there with flori jacket and hat, a ROAD CLOSED sign blocking the road, and perhaps half the passing population will try and squeeze past the sign or car, I'll have to physically stand in front of the moving car and shout Road Closed! We then have a short conversation where they all ask "Can I just drive down there?"
2. "You can't do this to me, my dad's a lawyer" Normally shouted by someone being arrested for being drunk and disorderly
3. "I know my rights!" Always shouted by people who in fact do not know a thing about Human Rights Act or PACE

And I was in a bank last week and a dodgy looking bloke came in trying to pay in money.
Bloke: Can I pay this in please? £500 it is
Cashier: That's not £500 is it?
Bloke: Yes it is!
Cashier: No, look, 20,40,45,50...
Bloke: Ok then, can I pay in £50?
Some people!

I worked in TJ Hughes as it went into administration. In the final week all stock was heavily discounted but people still wanted further discount, one "gentleman" when he was told he couldn't get any more discount on his half price TV said that he was glad we were all losing our jobs! My friend was told that it was hoped she would die in a car crash on her way home as she had asked a customer to leave the store half an hour after we had closed. It ended up looking like a jumble sale at the end and a customer asked me to find them the other shoe to the one they had in their hand, bearing in mind it would have been like looking for a needle in a haystack. On my last retail day (day before official closing of the store) I had a queue at my counter roughly an hour long, customer comes over with 2 baskets of stuff and asks me to price check it all and he would decide if he wanted it (all the while asking for further money off price) I refused to serve him and (loudly) asked him to leave, he did, after kicking the doors and windows and shouting abuse at me, the police were called and all the security guards in town came rushing to my aide! Had to leave through the back door in the end!

Also the pp who mentioned about taking £15 in 5ps, you can refuse that, there is a legal limit for change being used to pay for items I think

Toilet issue at my teenage place of work (leaky toilet, resulting in 2inch of sewage/water coating floor)

I put a sign on it, blocked it with a wet floor sign and duct taped a big X right across the door and frame - the type you'd have to remove to go thru the door.

Saw customer going for it anyway, I run across shop floor, shouting her to stop... She ignores me and reappears two minutes later soaking, she'd slipped and wanted to complain.

I apologised for the situation, pointed out the glaring 'no entry' signs etc and pointed her to the direction of the hand dryers in the good toilets... she then wanted my manager, he promised to discipline me for my rudeness and for not preventing her going in; needless to say he didnt!

Sparkling you be amazed how many £25 he gets. He used to give the money to the red cross but now its the local hospice since red cross sent a begging letter. In his deference the companies have done something wrong each time. I tried it once on a company which id go through hell with and they paid me and apologies..... Not sure id have the nerve to do it again unless its really bad.

Sounds like he needs to deal with some better companies london.

MummyPidge yeah I know, problem is I couldn't remember the limit, and also I got partway through counting it and he just walked off!

A friend used to work in a Beefeater. They'd give a free pack of stuff for children to play with over their meal, including a transfer set - you know, those little pictures you rub with a pencil and they stick to the background. Unfortunately, one of them thought they were the kind of transfers you put on your skin, like a fake tattoo, and did that instead. Can't remember now whether the kid developed a skin infection or just couldn't get the bloody thing off, but anyway they made a huge fuss and the Beefeater had to refund them, apologise, free meal, all that stuff.

Copied and pasted.... This might come as a surprise, but according to the Royal Mint, 1p and 2p coins are legal tender only if you are paying for something costing 20p or less: once you have amassed 21 or more 1p pieces, your coins contravene the Coinage Act 1971 if used in a single transaction. Even if you are buying penny sweets.

You can spend up to £5 in 5p or 10p coins, or up to £10 each in 50p and 20p pieces. Pound coins are legal tender for any amount, offering the chance for a frisson of defiance while staying on the right side of the law.

Sparkling..over the years he dealt with the major telephone, car insurance and energy companies... Mind you i think they better now as he hasnt sent a letter for a year.

Snatchoo .. the number of people who wore stuff and then brought it back was incredible. Especially the 'special occasion' wear (i.e. they've worn it for the special occasion!). An outfit would be covered in dandruff, flakes of skin, sweat marks, foodstains and then they would try and insist they hadn't worn it! When I used to point out the marks, they would say that it was like that when they bought it and that's one of the reasons they were bringing it back!

You couldn't make it up!