AIBU to ask for your best examples of times when the customer most definitely hasn't been right? (Lighthearted).

[KitKat1985]

Just that really. During my student days I did a number of crappy customer service jobs to enable me to afford to study (supermarkets, cafes, that type of thing). Now although most members of public are fine, there were definitely some who were ridiculously difficult, or would come up with the most stupid complaints. I was recently reminded of a incident when I was working in a café and we had a special of the day of four cheese pasta, which was under display under the hotplate. A customer ordered a portion which was served to her and she went to eat it at a table. A couple of minutes later she came back to the counter to complain about it. When asked by the manager what was wrong with it she said it was "too cheesy". What would you expect from a four cheese pasta?

Anyway, since it's cold and I can't be bothered to go out, I thought I'd ask the good people of Mumsnet if you had any more funny examples of times when the customer most definitely hasn't been right to help cheer up my cold afternoon with a slightly grumpy teething baby.

I worked with kids one summer. You would surprised at how wound up parents get about their "precious" little cherubs. It was never the kids that were the problem, and half the time the parents were getting upset about something the kid could care less about.

I work in a bank call centre.

A few months back I spoke to someone who was furious that a bill payment had left his account for £50 as he couldn't remember making it. The payment was to the Alzheimer's Society. The irony was completely lost on him.

I once threw a customer out of the shop when I worked at Jessops. He had a key ring photo from a theme park that he wanted copying. I explained that I couldn't do that because it would be a copyright infringement but also because the key ring was sealed.

He was having none of it and the argument descended to him saying well we ought to have hammers for breaking open key rings. At that point I couldn't take any more and told him to leave. He was really confused and kept stopping and looking at me while I said go, go now, get out of the shop.

My fellow shop assistant was worried and kept saying she was pretty sure we weren't allowed to do that. Turned out our manager was in earshot and crying with laughter.

I'd rather have been fired than have to look at that idiot any longer.

ketchup! brilliant!

Not technically a customer situation - but I had a man ask me in all seriousness if we could schedule his wife's induction of labour for the 9th of December because he wanted the baby to share his birthday - she would have been 35 weeks!!!

I'm loving these. Thank you for cheering up my dreary afternoon.

We once had a situation where an ex-wife was trying to cancel a break her husband had booked for his new lady and himself. Several phone calls later she came back with her trump card. She'd read our t&c's and triumphantly declared he was dead so we'd have to cancel the booking and send her a cheque for the amount paid (he'd paid on his card so that wouldn't have been on option anyway)
I asked her to send in the death certificate and she shouted that she'd 'actually have to kill the fucker' for that to happen.
The bloke never turned up for his naughty weekend away. I've often wondered if she actually had killed him!!

I worked for a national bus company, not particularly renowned for their caring customer service. However, I was doing a maternity cover role and was determined to be polite and professional to all customers.

Monday morning the phone rang with a furious passenger who wanted to complain about her recent trip to the Trafford Centre. Was the driver rude, did he take a wrong turn? No. When she got there the shops were too expensive. I commiserated, told her it wouldn't happen again and apologised on behalf of the Company.

I'm amazed you managed to keep a straight face ElsieMc!

It would take less time to list how often a customer was ever actually right. Generally speaking the more belligerent/patronising they were, the more woefully incorrect they were.

I do not miss having to face the general stupid public for work.

billyokey What a combination of good intentions and pig-ignorance!

Working in a supermarket, a customer complained that she thought the mini trifles she had bought were on BOGOF, at £2.20.

The offer had changed, so I cheerfully informed her that they were now on offer at two packs for £2. She was having none of it and had a massive go at me while I tried to tell her the new offer was in her favour but she kept telling me how terrible and misleading I was being.

In the end I told her I would honour the BOGOF, and knock an extra 20p off for 'the inconvenience'. She went off quite happily after that

In a former life I managed an enquiries team in a call centre for a sub prime mortgage broker and often dealt with calls put through to me from other members of the team if it was a complaint, abusive or they couldn't deal with it for some reason. One day I got a call put through from a man who wanted a remortgage, nothing unusual there. Except he was calling on his mobile, from his shed in his back garden, his 2 dogs were with him, his wife had locked him out of the house as she'd found out they were in massive mortgage arrears he'd hidden from her. And she'd found out because baliffs/police (not sure who) had turned up to repossess the house and were insisting the couple leave that day. And he wanted me to sort him a remortgage, there and then. He was desperately polite but just refused to accept there was no way I could do that, that there were other steps that would have to be taken such as talking to his current mortgage company and I couldn't make it all happen that minute. Very sad situation but he related so much of his current location/predicament/things his wife had shouted at him that I was trying not to laugh too and the way he just kept asking what I could do NOW drove me round the bend.

I work for the Post Office and have really begun to despair at the general public.
Had a woman rant and rave at me when I pointed out that her passport was out of date when she tried to use it as ID for buying foreign currency for her holiday the next week.

Quite how that was MY fault I don't understand, but still.

My favourite ever complaint:

Customer rings up "My cucumbers - they're very pale coloured and very small"
Me: "erm, the variety is called 'Minature White" . . . .

To be fair, I don't think English was his first language, but it gave us all a giggle.

Rousette similar issue when I worked in Accessorize as a teenager.

Woman comes in and buys a hat for the races. Tries to return it as 'faulty'. Hatband was minging, random stains everywhere - and it was ripped! She didn't get a refund .

Until recently I worked for a high street bank's complaint department. I actually enjoyed it the times I was actually fixing a problem, but 85% of 'complaints' were really just attempts at getting compensation. Most of the time they got it, too.

I used to work in a bank. I wish I had had a pound for every time i had to explain the difference between a standing order and a direct debit, or explain why you can't pay a cheque in and get the money out straight away. They would say 'so you are telling me I can't have my money? Er, well it's not actually yours yet, so no.

I found people that had bank accounts didn't know much about how it all worked.

Oh yes Snatchoo, one customer 'charged' the bank £25 for his letter of complaint. Turns out he was in the wrong anyway.

I dont understand why in todays world it takes x number of days for a cheque to clear either particularly a building society one which is only issued if the money is in the account. My dad charges for every letter he writes to bank, gas company etc and each time he gets paid. (Money goes to the hospice but company doesnt know that)

Does he complain a lot london?

I have to say that when I worked in a branch the majority of customers were nice, normal, reasonable people. Small branch, knew everyone by name etc, customers brought their holiday pictures in to show us. It was lovely.

As a teenager I worked Saturdays at Greggs.

A guy came in for a bag of donuts. Ten minutes later he came back and said they were stale. I apologised and said I would swap them. He said he had eaten the whole bag (6) to check if they were all stale??!!

Worked in wine retail. One customer complained that the 2 bottles of wine he'd drunk had made him I'll the next day, they must be faulty. Another that the robe he'd bought was 3 yrs out if date - going by it's vintage.

I'll = ill
Robe =eibe

Ffs.
Robe = wine