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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this is not the best way for school to deal with child pooing on floor?

106 replies

TimelyNameChangey · 02/12/2014 21:13

I've changed my name as this could out me.

Last week in the email which is sent to all parents at my DC primary school, the HT added an attachment to "all parents of infant girls"

It was a letter outlinging the fact that a girl in the infants had been soiling the floors in the infant girls toilets.

It went on to say that the child must be very uncomfortable as there was a real mess in the loo..on the floor and in a cubicle and that the parent must be aware as their pants would be messy.

It asked that the parent come forward in confidence so the teacher could work with them and their child.

Today a paper letter came home in all infant girls bags saying it had happened again today and that the matter will be dealt with in confidence...that nobody will know it was them....they're concerned to find the child so that she can be helped.

I feel like this...if the child is making that much mess then why can't the child's teacher smell it!?

Poor kid. And to send a second letter out when the parent has not come forward after last weeks...isn't it going to make things worse for them? Won't they feel even more embarrassed?

This is a tiny village primary with a very "naice" intake. Perhaps they'r;e too ashamed or could they really not know? Isn't there some other way of the school dealing with this?

My DD and all the other infants know about this matter and of course they are speculating about who it is....I put a stop to that immediately by the way.

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 02/12/2014 22:50

it's a small school with plenty of TA's .

Yes, I'm sure that all those TA's are just hanging around drinking coffee and gossiping about the Kardashians in the staff room all day. I doubt they actually have anything important to do with their time.

theeternalstudent · 02/12/2014 22:50

as far as I've understood the poo wasn't smeared on the walls, just that it was on the walls, floors and loo. That could be anything from someone not making it to the toilet in time, having a bit of a bad tummy or as biscuits a child trying to clean up their own poo and making a mess of it.

My DD has some issues that mean that on occasions she will have a poo accident and she will try to clean herself up. Truth be told the poo doesn't smell for that long. It will soon dry up and may just look like she hasn't wiped properly, nothing more.

marnia68 · 02/12/2014 22:58

I think the fact that they can't pinpoint the child, and that the shit is on the floor walls and seat point to deliberate smearing and there may well be no trace on the kids clothing.

gobbynorthernbird · 02/12/2014 23:01

I'd put money on the staff knowing exactly who it is, and having already tried to communicate with the parents and been met with denial/minimising.

Original poster
TimelyNameChangey · 02/12/2014 23:01

Scribbler if it is a "bad tummy" then it's been bad more than once apparently.

I thought it might be a child trying to clean up too. Ah well....whatever it is...and whoever it is, I hope they sort the poor little thing out soon.

OP posts:
1FluffyJumper · 02/12/2014 23:12

I take this sort of thing personally as I'm a teacher and i can just imagine this scenario going down at school. The school are taking THE most logical course of action given that all the kids know anyhow. I don't have a t.a. At my disposal all the time. If we took one away to monitor the toilet 24/7 that would mean a scale of 'others missing out' to 'chaos' somewhere else. Lunchtime supervisors don't exist where I work anymore either as they were cut and all their duties were passed on to the ta's with no increase in staffing....effectively a cut in ta hours. Schools run on a lot of goodwill....and you say your school is excellent. Have some faith in them them to know what they're doing....even though you think they don't. You seem to have the impression that the school doesn't care.

Lucyandpoppy · 02/12/2014 23:18

I can't see anywhere where OP has said that it was 'smeared' on the walls only that it got on the walls. Could well be that child is ill with tummy bug, or even something longer time like crohns disease or another digestive illness. That would be my main concern, if child is having diarrhoea which is quite severe may be at risk of dehydration and need to go to the drs.

Lucyandpoppy · 02/12/2014 23:20

ETA - people keep saying that if it was on toilet, floor and walls then it must be being smeared - as an adult with IBD I can confirm that this is not necessarily so...

Nanny0gg · 02/12/2014 23:24

I find it hard to believe they don't know who it is. If it's Reception and that much mess I can't believe it's not on the outside of her clothes as well.

But she'd smell and unless the teacher and TA have no sense of smell (I was very grateful to have a colleague like this when I had a poor little boy and a bad case of diarrhoea!) they would know and the children would absolutely know who it was - and probably comment loudly.

Poor little girl.

Original poster
TimelyNameChangey · 02/12/2014 23:49

Fluffy I still think there must have been a more subtle way to approach it.

OP posts:
Whatsthewhatsthebody · 02/12/2014 23:50

Yes and kids grass each other up all the time at that age. Mind you can confirm that by 2pm most of the receptions/year 1 whiff a lot anyway of farts etc.

Pipbin · 03/12/2014 07:23

But what Timely?
I'm assuming that they have tried to monitor the toilets but staking it out all day is simply not practical.
I'm sure this is a last resort. What do you think they should have done?

HellKitty · 03/12/2014 08:10

A child had constant nits in DCs nursery (15 years ago!). The teachers knew who it was but were under obligation to send letters to the whole class - not just single out the one boy, as it contravened the EU Human Right Act. Or something.

As for the parents not knowing, they're either embarrassed or like a few hippy mums I knew, would class it as the child, 'expressing itself'. There's no way the teachers can't know or the parents not know its their child, they would have crap all over their hands surely?

Madamecastafiore · 03/12/2014 08:17

How are they supposed to deal with it?

Can just imagine thread 'Teacher following DD to the toilet!!!'

Original poster
TimelyNameChangey · 03/12/2014 09:16

Kitty I am sure they'd HAVE to discuss a child doing this...it's different to nits....

And to those who keep asking ME how they're meant to deal with it;...I don't know! I'm not a teacher or a HT am I? I just think this was not the best way. That there should be a better way.

OP posts:
Pipbin · 03/12/2014 13:12

If you can't think of a better solution then don't complain.

I can see the threads:
Teacher forcefully looked in DD's pants to see if she had shat herself.
TA spends all her day sat outside the loo rather than helping children.
TA followed my DD into the loo.

Clawdy · 03/12/2014 14:12

Some thing very similar happened in the school where I was working a few years ago. Teacher and TA couldn't sniff out the child! so they did some discreet pants checking....several parents went ballistic,and both teacher and TA were in trouble. By the sound of it, OP's school is behaving in probably the only way possible.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/12/2014 14:18

Classy - I'm not surprised Shock

OP I think what they are doing is fine.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/12/2014 14:20

Clawdy I mean !

Mammanat222 · 03/12/2014 14:39

They did some discreet pants checking what the actual fuck?

Number3cometome · 03/12/2014 15:06

Did they not consider for a second that it may infact be a very embarrassed boy??

Floggingmolly · 03/12/2014 15:48

I suppose at some point they have to weigh up whether to let it go; or risk a nasty bug being passed around the entire class?

Pants checking is a bit Shock but can they really leave a child in their own shit for an entire school day because the child is denying it's happened? That would raise a hornets nest of it's own.

Hatespiders · 03/12/2014 17:12

As a primary schoolteacher for 30 years, (retired now) I had two cases of this, both with six year-olds, on separate occasions years apart. Both were actually boys. And each child was seriously disturbed and being abused, Their smearing poo all over the toilet walls and floor was a kind of desperate protest and a cry for help. I'm not saying this is the case here, but often, poo-smearing is a sign of something distressing in the child's life. I wonder if a discreet volunteer could be asked to keep an eye on the toilets in question? And it could be a boy not a girl.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/12/2014 17:13

Hate spiders - abuse sprang to mind too, hence the parent being reluctant to come forward.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 03/12/2014 17:18

Another one who thinks this is a bit of a red flag for a child with (non-toileting related ) issues.