AIBU to ask if you think my DC is SN or NT? (Posting for traffic)

[HarrysDinosaurs]

Background: my dad is definitely dyslexic, my DB has learning difficulties (reading, writing, maths) and aspergers.

DD 3.5 can sometimes seem completely normal and quite bright. For example, knows her letters and numbers, shapes, remembers things from ages ago e.g. Previous location of swimming lessons (changed location at 2.5 but she still remembers old pool.)

But, every day she has accidents (wet) at school nursery, and her speech and comprehension can be rubbish. She uses 'he' and 'her' indiscriminately, whichever she fancies regardless of actual gender of people. If asked what she wants to do today, she tells you what she did yesterday. If asked what she did at school today, she has a strop and says her head hurts. Other kids her age can chat for ages on the topic. The other day, 2 just turned 3 year olds she knows from school, saw her in the street and were all excited to see her. DD looked as though she'd never seen them in her life before.

So, does she sound a bit like she has SN or not?! Can never make my mind up, but always worry with my family background.

I work in sen. Without observing your dd I would not want to say either way. I'd recommend that if you have continuing concerns to raise them with your gp, ask for referral to paediatric for assessment. From there, if there is a concern around language or social communication ie aspergers/ asd, she may be referred for further specialist assessment and support. If you are concerned about dyslexia I would recommend frequent practice of letter sounds - foam letters on tiles by the bath nice for this- in preparation for reception and lots of enjoyment in reading, but don't stress about it.

Of course there are genetic links to Neuro diversity and learning difference, but try not to worry too much. Kids really do develop at different rates in all areas.

This really isn't something you should be asking random internet strangers about.

You'll get so many different opinions and anecdotes, it'll send your head into a spin.

I would have a chat to the school nursery staff if you're worried, as they actually know your child.

But, every day she has accidents (wet) at school nursery

Not that unusual, DD was unreliable until after 4yo. Watch for UTIs in girls, though.

and her speech and comprehension can be rubbish.

3 DC like that (only one I've ever wondered about SN). Have you asked about speech therapy?

She uses 'he' and 'her' indiscriminately,

this is very common, I think it's dead cute. Why would they understand about gender?

If asked what she wants to do today, she tells you what she did yesterday. If asked what she did at school today,

Confusion about time words also ordinary.

The other day, 2 just turned 3 year olds she knows from school, saw her in the street and were all excited to see her. DD looked as though she'd never seen them in her life before.

That's quite subtle; at worst she could have facial blindness. I struggle seeing people out of usual context. Brad Pitt has facial blindness too.

I don't know what you meant about chatting on some topic?
Mine didn't know letters at that age so yours seems quite advanced.

(You're welcome to have my 13yo who is moaning about a tilted chair at the moment: maths star now but she couldn't read numbers until she started school).