to refuse to share food?

[Vitalstatistix]

It feels as though I am being petty and/or greedy but at the same time, it gives me the rage when I make myself a snack and my husband wanders over and says "that looks nice, can I take some?"

I tell him no, and to go and get himself one. It really irritates me that he wants to take from my plate which means I either have only half or have to go back and make myself something again, after having said no, he isn't hungry when I initially go into the kitchen saying I am getting a snack, do you want anything.

So tell me, am I petty or do you understand why it gives me the rage.

Generally share food as a rule - but nobody ever takes my food without asking now, after a shameful incident when pregnant and suffering the pregnancy raging hunger. Out for a pub lunch, I have chilli, half rice, half chips.

Colleague who prides herself on eating like a bird (yes, love, course you do. Would that be vulture or gannet?) nicks one of my chips, on the basis that she couldn't eat a whole portion. I give her the hard stare, and she nicks another. I tell her she does that again at her own risk, I'm pregnant, hormonal, starving and I have a fork. She does a tinkly little laugh thing and says "you can't object to me having a couple of chips, you silly thing". Well, yes, I can actually. You'll find I'm the silly thing licking your blood off my fork as you stare at the four small but perfectly formed holes in your hand.

Tinkly little laughs are not a defence to chip-nicking.

8Mrskoala*... how, just HOW have you managed not to smack him on his greedy head with the biggest, heaviest frying pan that you have?

What an absolute pig he is. What if you were to take his food away from him? His water? Make him go without? Why doesn't he order more food for himself if he's so greedy that he needs to each that much, instead of taking yours?

he does order more, he would just eat because it's there usually. if we go for a curry he has 4 popadoms, a naan, a rice, couple of chapatis, a main and a side. i have a main and a side and he will still have some of mine. i've given up helping him diet because i spend ages making and balancing meals for him, packing lunches etc and he just goes and stuffs his face anyway saying he's hungry. he has no impulse control at all and actually seems panicky at feeling hunger. if i ask him to cut down on buying so much food he gets really cross and says 'i wont starve myself' or 'i wont go hungry'. i try to explain there is a huge gap between what i suggest he eats and 'going hungry'. Sadly his parents grew up very poor and starving and talk about it often, the hunger and having nothing, and then over cook and throw it all away. i think it has made him fear hunger.

All fair enough, MrsK but he doesn't seem to mind YOU feeling hunger, or his children feeling thirst. Doesn't he have any discipline at all not to take yours, your children's food/drink? I have sympathy up to a point but not for that. He's just an ill-mannered pig if he does this. I'm angry for you.

he thinks we can just get some more. when we were at camber sands this summer on a hot day he finished the water i brought for us to share, then picked up ds (22mo) water and i said don't drink that, it's ds's. he just drank it in front of me because he needed it and we could 'just get more' err where? we are miles from the fucking shop and i am 8months pregnant and ds is thirsty NOW.

just remembered when we went out on an early date i went to the loo and he ate my chocolate that came with the bill. he asked for the bill, they brought 2 after 8s and he scoffed both. when i got back there were just 2 wrappers. i had such a go at him and told him he could see me outside and went outside fuming. he grovelled another chocolate off the waiter and brought it out to me. he still mentions what a selfish clueless twat he was then.

He sounds greedy and selfish and must be the size of a house with all those calories.
Lots of people grow up poor, most learn a bit of self control as they get older and the food more plentiful though. If he realises he has an illogical fear of ever feeling hungry then he could see a therapist who can replace it with the more realistic fear of early death related to obesity and its complications like diabetes.
Drinking all the water is for thoughtless children not a parent. I suspect he's selfish and thoughtless in other ways as well as food related problems.
We share crisps but rarely eat them. If I'm at a pub with someone I'd expect them to ask everyone in the group (if a small group) if they want crisps rather than just buy a bag for themselves. If they didn't share crisps I'd expect them to say so when they asked as crisp sharing is so common. Then no-one expects a crisp when they return.

A fork, wielded with accuracy, can be a most effective deterrent to plate raiding. It's what cutlery was invented for.

I worked with someone years ago who brought all four of her children to work.

They were taught to wander round taking food from people's plates. (They'd eat sweets all morning, refuse their dinner, then get 'hungry' when they saw the staff eating theirs.

The mother thought it was cute.

MrsKoala I snorted so loudly at your 'stabbing him in Giraffe' story that even my lazy bugger of a dog raised his head.

P.S. I do love the falafel and halloumi burger!

I have a toddler who pinches my food, she will climb me to try and take food out of my mouth. So someone snatching a chip off my plate doesn’t bother me at all in comparison, although I daren’t take food from someone else in case they happen to be as crazy as you lot and I lose a finger.

I couldn’t share a plate with my DD as she licks everything on her plate before tucking in. Perhaps that’s actually a clever trick.

Aaaarg, reminds me of my very exH. He was notorious at the golf club for helping himself to other members' sandwiches/chips while sitting at the club's bar. Yes, some objected but he'd just laugh and say surely they didn't grudge him a few (handfuls!) of chips, load of their sandwiches, etc ... oh yes they bloody well did mind - it was so embarrassing.
But what REALLY got my wild up was Sunday lunch - usually his parents there, other guests, daughter's boyfriend etc. As husband carved the joint, every other slice he carved he'd convey to his mouth on the carving fork and eat it. It was REVOLTING to watch, but whenever I protested, he told me I was being precious!

I made a sandwich on Monday night using leftover roast beef. It was a thing of beauty and I had been looking forward to it all day. Without asking, DP takes an ENORMOUS bite out of it. Then I turn around for ten seconds and dog sees his opportunity, moves the bread with his nose and legs it under the table with a lump of meat.

A moment of silence for a good snack lost, please.

PS to previous post: on the other hand, my cat is adept at removing the ham from a sandwich as I convey it from plate to mouth ... and I forgive her - bless!

No YADNBU I hate when DH does this, he will order risotto or pasta and then steal my chips! Order your own chips! ffs.

2rebecca DH had a habit of doing that to me as well. He'd appear as I was making something and say 'oh, can you do me one too' which meant I used to end up just giving him mine and making another one. I refuse to do it now and tell him to make his own.

Laughing at your low-carbing dog with his 'eyes on the prize'...

oldgrandmama... Just HOW slowly do you move the sandwich from the plate to your mouth?

hoppus... This is fine for pelicans. Not so much for humans. Be ready with the tissues and sympathy for your child when she's returned to you from her first party for doing the same clambering/mouth-mauling trick.