to refuse to share food?

[Vitalstatistix]

It feels as though I am being petty and/or greedy but at the same time, it gives me the rage when I make myself a snack and my husband wanders over and says "that looks nice, can I take some?"

I tell him no, and to go and get himself one. It really irritates me that he wants to take from my plate which means I either have only half or have to go back and make myself something again, after having said no, he isn't hungry when I initially go into the kitchen saying I am getting a snack, do you want anything.

So tell me, am I petty or do you understand why it gives me the rage.

Make this your mantra.

Oh I feel your rage!

I don't mind the odd chip but if someone wants to start taking proper mouthfuls of my food I get very territorial.

I've found myself eating really quickly when XDP's DDs were around as they were terrible snafflers and not just the odd chip, but all the good bits, like taking all the prawns out of a paella - sometimes he'd even offer to swap his own meal with them if they didn't like what they had

Once he offered for his DD to try some of my meal in a restaurant to see if she'd like it. I told her it was a bit spicy and I didn't think she would (it wasn't, but there's no way I'm sharing my food with someone else's DC!)

Tell your H to make his own snack.

Not at all unreasonable.

He was offered the chance of you preparing him a snack and he turned it down. If he changes his mind once you are virtually eating yours then he should go and make his own food.

That would drive me nuts.

YANBU!

Tell him to look up this link

Hampton doesn't share food.

YANBU

I grew up with a mum perpetually on a diet who would take a tiny portion and then pinch stuff off my plate. Damned annoying.

I am with you in general OP.

My only question would be, do you offer snacks when others may want them? I can understand if the others don't, but better surely if those making snacks generally ask others (but this should be incumbent on anyone old enough to make their own snacks). This is how it was in my house growing up and is how I expect things to operate in my own house.

Bugger I had a flatmate like that as a student. She was a dancer and thin as a rail. She ate by taking tiny spoons of other people's food. That was literally her intake. Whatever she could purloin out of my soup pot...or someone elses' chips....so she only ever ate tiny bits of things and remained thin.

I had to tell her in the end "Get your frigging spoon out of my stew!!" I was having someone over for supper and her constant "dipping" was making me so MAD!

Nope drives me nuts too. I'm dieting and carefully portion out my food. Also eating off of someone's plate or utensils makes me heave.

I don't even like it when my two year old wants something from my plate. I'm happy to get him some out of the pot, but no, he wants it off my plate. Hate it!

Bugger, as i said in my OP, i tell him i will be making a snack and ask him if he wants one, he says no and then tries to take mine. The git.
I am glad so many think i am not too unreasonable because i do get the urge to poke him really hard with a fork

YANBU! Especially since you offered to make him some too!

"he isn't hungry when I initially go into the kitchen saying I am getting a snack, do you want anything."
So, the conversation should go along the lines of:

OP: I'm making some X, do you want some?
DH: No thanks, I'm fine ...
OP: Hold that thought. Because if you don't want it now, I don't want you wanting it when I've made myself the amount that I want, OK?
DH: ?
OP: Last chance. There'll be none of your usual "that looks nice, can I take some?", OK? You say no now, I say no to 'can I take some'.

YANBU! Lol at Joey doesn't share food - too right!

I HATE IT when I am eating something and people assume they are welcome to take things off my plate without an explicit invitation from me first (for example saying "I'm stuffed, do you want the rest of mine?"), instead of 'can I has?'

I particularly hate when you've got chips or a packet of crisps and someone shoves their hand in. I would NEVER do this to anyone else unless they held out the bag and said 'try one!'. So fucking rude, why do people do it?! How do I know, for instance, that the hand they are putting on my food, has been washed after the person's last bathroom trip? BOAK.

I remember one time I was out to lunch with my PILs and had ordered chips with something. My FIL, who I'd met about 3 times at this point, thought NOTHING of helping himself to my chips, off my plate. I turned my plate away because I was hungry and wanted them and he asked "aren't they for the table?" UH NO THEY ARE ON -MY- PLATE. Haha rage.
Whenever I am out with PILs they always, always ask to try what everyone else has got, and then end up asking or helping themselves to more once you've let them have the first taste.
We were out again recently (and I know them better know, and vice versa ) and everyone else ordered roast dinners, but I had veggie burger and chips. The LOOK of pure food envy/"why don't you share those" i got from the entire table, presumably to make me offer them around, was rather unsettling and akin to vultures waiting on some poor creature to die. So I sat and ate them very slowly making it clear I enjoyed every single one.

Bastards, get your own.

/greedy

Ooh. I do do a fabulous Hard Stare.

God dammit, I don't share food! I don't even like when I get asked if I want to share a rice portion in a restaurant. I hate sharing a starter platter - I just want my own starter.

Omg this is my pain too!
I don't mind DH so much cos I can tell him to fuck off but PIL, sigh.
Every time we used to eat out MIL says 'Oh that looks good Werewolf.'
Awkward silence. Everyone looks at me.
'Do you want go try it?'
Yes please '
So I load my fork and send it down the table. Before I've even tasted it.
I went mad at DP one day about it and he must have had a word, as it doesn't happen now.
But sooooooo rude.

There's an old advert I love to quote: "touch my food, feel my fork!"

I'd forgotten it was for quorn though, always thought it was chips!

this is what I think of. Classic. And so true.

Never a truer word spoken. By all means finish off anything I can't eat, but no bloody digging in for a third of my Chinese!

Hate food sharing. Being vegetarian, you can't really share with the meat eaters anyway. I had an ex who used to dig in. Once I had a nice homous dish at a restaurant, with oil, chopped peppers and chickpeas. He grabbed it, started stiring it, then dipped his meat dish in it before I got a chance to enjoy it. I was pissed off.
Nandos as well! Urgh. Having to defend my nuts and olives because they're part of my main meal and I'm going to have them with the chips. I was quite rude and told one of my friends to buy their own nibbles!

I generally don't mind sharing food; will happily cut bits off, my partner can take from my plate as much as he wants, whilst I'm eating off it too but that's him and nobody else. I'll happily eat things off his fork if he wants me to taste something and feed him off mine. We kiss after all, so what's the difference? Intimate is intimate.

What I HATE is for a work colleague to do it; we have no relationship, in fact I don't like him and he's the greediest person ever. Always wants to pick off my plate and last time, I just pushed the plate over to him and told him that I didn't want it anymore and that he was greedy.

I also don't like this ordering thing - I take my mum out to lunch and she always wants to share things, tries to make me order things that I don't like, that she wants to try. I tell her to order what she wants and so will I (I'm paying) but she gets all huffy about it. I don't like going out to eat with her either.

I would never pick off somebody's plate though, finished or not.

LOVE that clip of smithy! I am so like that when we order takeaway!!!

I LOVE sharing food with my husband. I think it is one of life's simple pleasures and says a lot about us as a couple.

HOWEVER....it only applies to food that has been ordered/made with the explicit understanding and agreement that the food is for sharing....not when one person has made it for personal consumption, having done the mannerly thing and asked if the other person wants something and been turned down. Under those circumstances, yes, definitely a "touch my food, feel my fork" moment!

It doesn't say anything about you as a couple apart from the fact that neither of you is a greedy guts!

What does it say about you as a couple?

I had an ex who would do this as an attempt at alpha male/control. As soon as my food arrived, he would reach over and eat some. I don't even mind sharing food! I just don't like someone taking it without asking AND before I have even had a chance to try it.

I started ordering food he couldn't/wouldn't eat. He moaned.