a ask for a breakdown of the costs for a hen weekend that costs 380

[fruitloop13]

Had an invite to a hen weekend, really want to go but its apparently 380 for the two nights plus I have to pay to travel to Newcastle.

I have the money, I just don't like wasting it and can't for the hell of me see where it is going - we are staying in Travelodge.

Aibu to ask for the costings of everything?

Although everything is just hotel for two nights, a walking tour, wine tasting and entry to a spa.

I'm worried that the bridesmaids are profiteering.

I am in my 50s and never had had a hen do and have only once been to one. That one was about 25 years ago and consisted of dinner at an Italian in London and an horrendous night club near Piccadilly. Overall it was good fun, including the train into London it probably cost me £30. I cannot imagine anybody I know wanting anything like the hen weekends that are described on here. They sound ghastly and ridiculously overpriced. Like many of the weddings also described on here. How long do the marriages last, I wonder?

Maybe the rest of the money is for the policeman or fireman..

How do you know that you will not like the food though?

Are you really worried that the bridesmaids are profiteering? Do you have the kind of friends (or friends of friends) that would even think of doing that? Do people really ever do that? Maybe I'm just really naive.

It's a shedload of money for a Travelodge and whilst I would normally think like a previous poster that if you are in you are in for such things, it does seem like loads. I think I would just express my surprise at the cost (perhaps to the bride if she's a good mate and you are in regular contact).

What MaryMillington said - do you really really think they might be profiteering, rather than just being rubbish at organising and at getting any deals?

There is no way I could justify paying that for one weekend fir an activity just for me.

Almost £400 would pay for the whole family to go to the theatre plus Premier Inn.

It would pay for 4 days of specialist ballet tuition for dd plus accommodation.

It would pay for two children's birthday parties.

It would be a weekend away for the whole family.

Exactly Pictures. It's often not the cost, but what the guest will have to sacrifice in order to afford it. I just don't think its fair to ask that of people.

I wouldn't go, I simply wouldn't be able to be friendly and enjoy the time with people I knew were taking advantage of me, no matter how much I liked the bride.

I'd just decline the hen do but go to the wedding- make an excuse that you can't make the dates.

I'd probably say it doesn't sound like good value for money and offer to look for a better deal for everyone.

I agree with MissBattleaxe

The only rude people here see the organisers of this 'do'. You don't ask people to stump up nearly 400 quid for a weekend you've planned without their input, and not give them a breakdown of costs.

I honestly think that half these things rely on social pressure. Nobody wants to look like the mean/cheap one, or like they're not a good friend, so everyone goes along with these ludicrous arrangements.

The amount people are expected to spend to attend weddings these days is just mad.

I would not spend that on a hen week end, that's exorbitant. Why TWO nights? It's so OTT.

But some hen organisers go mad. I adore dh's cousin who had a huge great shebang of a hen night and we had to pay for this slightly preposterous disco in a marquee shared with a great horde of Others and a sit down meal etc and all her extremely extravagant presents and also kind of chocolate nobs and edible pants.... we all spent a fortune and that was me staying at her mum's not even the gorgeous luxury of Travelodge! (don't forget your soap n shampoo!). The organisers seemed to me to be trying to prove how much they loved the bride, actually the mother of her best friend seemed to me to be trying to out do mother of the bride... uncomfortable public display of bride worship. I mean she a lovely girl but she isn't the Messiah returned in glory to save the universe from evil neither.

I agree Noellle. A man proposes to a woman and everyone has to go bankrupt in case they displease the proposee.

TBH I think this is usually a bridesmaidzilla problem. I am sure most brides would be horrified if their friends were being compromised this way. Hen nights should return to being an affordable and fun evening rather than overly competitive sycophancy. The more you spend the more the bride will like you!

It's time people just started saying they can't make it, rather than going into debt or making sacrifices.

Yes I was invited to a 40th in a hot country and the bride offered to pay for the swanky hotel and guests just needed to pay for flights and food/drink while there.

I politely declined partly asher mates are just humungously rich and I thought, this can't bode well if you have fewer shekels, plus I don't like to have NO escapre route. So my best friend went on this glam trip and said that she spent hundreds on food and drink as the guests took turn. She hated it and just felt ripped off.

I don't know how people can do it to their friends. And I don't know why their friends feel so pressured to agree.

I definitely would NOT go. I would simply say that it's too much money that is needed for other things. I would not give a single toss what they say. F*ck 'em all.