To ask dd's friend to help wash up?

[MistletoeBUTNOwine]

DD has a friend round, dd is 9 friend is 10.
WIBU to ask friend to help dd wash up after tea?

I think ywbvu to do so. It's your dd chores not hers. She's a guest.

Yes. Very!

Yabu. She's only 10 fgs and she's a visitor. Do them yourself!

Oh
Glad I asked!!!

YABVU, you don't ask child guests to do your housework.

Ds is definitely excused from washing up/loading the dishwasher when he has a guest. I'd never ask a guest to help wash up!

I never expected dc' s friends to help with the washing up. They may be children, but they're still guests imo and as such shouldn't be expected to do chores.

Up to you though.

She's come round to play.

Surely you can give your DD a night off from washing up.

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't see anything wrong in it, if it's done in an 'All mucking in together' kind of way. I wouldn't go park my butt in front of the TV and leave them doing the chores though.

I would never dream of doing this. She's come round to play not to do your housework.

I wouldn't ask a guest to wash up, from a manners point of view, even a child. Your home though!

Depends.My children have "one of the family" type friends, who I would expect to pitch in without being asked, and "invited round" friends who I would treat like an adult guest.

So yes and no!

No I have to disagree totally I think that's fine!

You have provided her with tea presumably?

Of course she can help her friend with her chore so they can both get back to whatever they were doing quicker.

I guess I'm in a minority with you Mistletoe. I've always asked kids to help with cleaning the plates, popping them into the dishwasher etc after a meal, and I'd be thrilled if I knew that my own DD or DS did the same at someone else's house (as I've seen them being asked to do).

I'm never horrible about it - we stick music on and muck around and make it a fun thing… I guess I have too much of the Brownie leader in me.

I would ask them to bring their plates through but not get them to wash up.

Yabu.I'd not only not ask the friend but I'd excuse dd from washing them too - assuming this is an infrequent visit of course.

If the friend is the drops-in-for-tea-4-times-a-week-and-almost-lives-with-us sort of friend (I had one growing up) then yanbu and I would ask them both to help.

"YABVU, you don't ask child guests to do your housework."

But I have to pick up on this- it's not the OP's housework- it's the family's housework.

Wow--I've done this (with my own child and a child guest) and it's been good fun.

Obviously they're given a choice, eg "Bono usually does the washing up after lunch, would you boys like to help or go okay something else?", but in my experience they generally opt for bubbles and washing enjoy themselves.

Hadn't realised I was breaking child labour laws, oops.

My kids clear up after meals automatically (load dishwasher or put plates by sink). Their friends have always just followed them and done what they did.

Love the idea that I'm making child guests do housework!

Yanbu.
When I was young helping to getting our own meal ready and clearing up afterwards was normal when I had friends round or went to friends homes. Just our own though.

If your DD normally does it then perhaps its ok to ask friend to join in. Communal washing up can be fun with radio/singing etc. On the other hand she is a guest so perhaps its a bit much. Just clearing plates to sink/dishwasher is fine though.

They both took plates to sink and shot off to play minecraft

Actually, Hak is right we have friends that practically live here and they DO help but they do it anyway without being asked, but they're here for sleep overs all the time.

I wouldn't ask adult guests to help with the washing up, so I wouldn't ask children to either.

Personally I don't think YABU because my mum encouraged us from an early age to ask if there was anything helpful we could do when we were at friends' houses, whether that was clearing the plates after dinner or helping to dry up. I think guests should offer to help.