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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be annoyed grandparents just gave DD something from her santa list?

109 replies

cruisepool · 27/11/2014 20:55

Visiting grandparents at the moment. They are spending christmas with us. DD (4) has had a small thing she has wanted for a little while and she put it in her letter to santa. Grandparents knew this. They just gave her said item.

OP posts:
Showy · 27/11/2014 23:34

This is nowt. Moldies, now that was tricksy.

This is the very definition of peace and love.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 27/11/2014 23:35

I'm with chasedbybees on this.

When you are royally pissed off it is easy to omit relevant key points in the OP in the heat of the moment.

And I would be beyond pissed off if any of my family did this. (They wouldn't, we all have more respect each other.)

ChristmasSparkle · 27/11/2014 23:57

cruisepool I know where you're coming from. Admittedly, going by your first post alone I was a bit Hmm but on your subsequent one I perhaps should have explained that whilst it is actually a rather small thing, it is the main thing she wants and has been talking about for a while. I see exactly.
It's not that you don't want grandparents to buy the children gifts. Of course you do. It's when the grandparents insist on buying something big, ostentatious, or however little and insignificant will trump yours as the present.
And you as the parents want to give the main present. You don't want your present to be dwarfed, or at least the main present on your child's list to come from a grandparent, however much it may cost or seem. Her main present, you feel, should come from YOU.
I'm with you.

QTPie · 28/11/2014 00:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Nanny0gg · 28/11/2014 00:26

So -
DD wanted something for Christmas
DD asked Santa for the something.
DD's parents bought all the things (3) DD had asked for to give on Christmas day
Parents had already asked that extra presents were not bought just before Christmas
Parents told GPs that presents were already bought.
GPs bought the main thing anyway and gave it to the DD.

And the GPS are not in the wrong??

Only on MN...

RoseCavallari · 28/11/2014 03:35

No. The GP's were only not in the wrong when the OP only mention the first two items on your list in her opening post.

I don't think anyone has said they were in the right after the dripfeed was given.

chocolatescones · 28/11/2014 06:32

I'm surprised by all the posts in response to OP's original post actually. If its almost Christmas why would GP buy something on the Santa list and not wait until Christmas? I'd be a bit annoyed also so YANBU. Also all those getting at OP because it's a relatively small thing so what? Aren't we all entitled to a little moan about things and isn't it better to do it on here getting other points of view first?

Iggly · 28/11/2014 06:36

Why oh why did you share the list with the GPs if you were going to buy them all?

Iggly · 28/11/2014 06:38

And will people stop with the whole outrage about supposed drip feeding!?

It reads as really nasty actually.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 28/11/2014 06:54

Was it:
Grandparents : 'What would you like for Christmas darling?'
Child : 'I would like a Barbie.'
Grandparents buy child a Barbie, not realising that child has put this on her Christmas list and parents have already bought it.
They decide to ignore parents request not to give presents before Christmas as they don't want their present to lost in the mayhem of the day and they think it's nice to spread them out.

It's a bit passive aggressive to ignore your request not to give presents early but depends on how the overall relationship is, constant undermining, battling for control on both sides, generally OK.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 28/11/2014 06:55

If however, they knew it was on the list from Santa, that puts a different slant on it.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 28/11/2014 07:36

YANBU
The extra information doesn't change my view tbh.
If you're buying something you know a child wants for Christmas you should check with the parents whether the gift is already bought, or is planning to be bought. If the answer to either of those questions is in the affirmative then you don't go and buy the gift. One could say "oh, why don't you let us get her that?", which would be nice, but you don't just go and get it and you definitely don't just give it as a random pre -Christmas present.
It really isn't difficult.

What was it?

crumblebumblebee · 28/11/2014 08:01

Iggly The reason a few us mentioned about the drip feeding is because other posters are coming on and saying how ridiculous we are for saying YABU when we only had half a story! So, the churlish "only on MN" comments make people look silly really. I'm happy to admit I've changed my mind, I said up thread, then other people come in and pour scorn onto the thread.

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 28/11/2014 08:34

From the first post yanbu. I can understand why you would be upset. I don't buy my DC random presents, especially not a month before Christmas. They stole your/Santa's thunder; not a nice thing to do.

One of my sisters is a lot better off than another. One year my older dsis bought her dd a present she'd wanted for ages. It was her main present and was a big hit with all the DC. It was a massive deal for her parents to buy it and I'd have been very surprised if someone else had bought it and given it to her before Christmas. Boxing day my younger dsis bought it for my dn. Her DC had presents galore and it was mean, not least because she could have waited.
FWIW my ds's GPS aren't interested and I think this was a bit mean.

Nanny0gg · 28/11/2014 10:09

I thought the GPs were in the wrong from the first post (and that's a GP's POV)
I don't understand why anyone would think it ok.

OP - what have you said to them about it?

SquattingNeville · 28/11/2014 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lomega · 28/11/2014 11:55

It's annoying but sweet. Pick your battles OP.

DayLillie · 28/11/2014 11:58

Keep a separate list of things she would like/needs for them to work through.

Fallingovercliffs · 28/11/2014 12:02

Well if they knew it was the thing she wanted most and would get most excited about on Christmas morning, and that you had already bought it then yes, they were being thoughtless. YANBU.

Nanny0gg · 28/11/2014 13:20

It's annoying but sweet. Pick your battles OP.

How is that sweet?

The OP has bought what her DD has asked for. I can understand her wanting to be the one to give the gift. The GPs have wasted her money and taken away her pleasure in the gift-giving.

How is that sweet??

DidoTheDodo · 28/11/2014 13:36

But Santa doesn't exist.
QED

TheRealAmandaClarke · 28/11/2014 15:38

Wash your mouth out Dido

sleeponeday · 28/11/2014 18:02

But Santa doesn't exist.
QED

Sorry, but that's what your parents had to tell you. Right after they disposed of the coal. Sad

DidoTheDodo · 28/11/2014 18:41

Oh don't be silly sleepyhead. I had a fabulous childhood. Not an ounce of coal in it. Except on the fire.

St Nicholas prevented some girls going into prostitution by dropping coins down their chimney. Now that's a better story for your children!

whathaveiforgottentoday · 28/11/2014 20:20

I'd be annoyed if the GP did this so OP I think YANBU and having a little moan on here is absolutely fine.

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