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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

To be annoyed grandparents just gave DD something from her santa list?

109 replies

cruisepool · 27/11/2014 20:55

Visiting grandparents at the moment. They are spending christmas with us. DD (4) has had a small thing she has wanted for a little while and she put it in her letter to santa. Grandparents knew this. They just gave her said item.

OP posts:

Original poster

cruisepool · 27/11/2014 22:01

Minty my intention was not to goad anyone.

OP posts:

Mintyy · 27/11/2014 22:01

Afraid I don't believe you op.

Not for one moment.

Mintyy · 27/11/2014 22:02

If you weren't being goady you were certainly being self righteous.

Rabbitcar · 27/11/2014 22:04

I think OP is getting a strangely hard time. I understood the point from the first post. YANBU. Sounds very annoying.

Original poster

cruisepool · 27/11/2014 22:05

Mintyy. Whether you believe my intentions or not doesn't matter. I KNOW what my intentions were, you don't.

OP posts:

RandomHouseRules · 27/11/2014 22:05

I agree with Rabbitcar.

crumblebumblebee · 27/11/2014 22:06

OP got a hard time because she massive drip fed.

Mintyy · 27/11/2014 22:10

Whatever your intentions were, your thread doesn't make much sense.

But, anyway, I hope you can get over this massive blow and have a happy Christmas.

RoseCavallari · 27/11/2014 22:12

But I wasn't saying that Fluffy - when I replied it was it was a post about grandparents giving their grandchild a small present. That I was making the point that ok you can find it annoying but I think its more hurtful if a grandparent is not interested in their grand child. They wanted to get her something she really wanted that was a "small thing". Makes it sound as if it wasn't a huge gesture like an expensive bike for example.

That buying a small gift in the grand scheme of things is not really such a terrible thing,

Then there was the massive drip feed which changed the entire thread. I wouldn't have posted my "fecking sob story" if it had been included.

textingdisaster · 27/11/2014 22:12

I don't think you dripfed cruisepool. Things do come out in bits and pieces sometimes because we are processing the whole thing (whatever we are posting about) ourselves and other people asking questions helps organise our thoughts.

Anyway, how did your dd's grandparents explain the duplicate to you?

BlackeyedSusan · 27/11/2014 22:14

YANBU. deliberate stealing of thunder and oneupmanship.

Mintyy · 27/11/2014 22:17

But she DID dripfeed.

Her posts went from "Grandparents gave her a small thing she wanted for a little while"

"it is the main thing she wants and has been talking about for a while. She only has 3 things on her list. I'd asked grandparents to try and cut down on present giving pre christmas to try and keep the presents on the day more special. Rather than getting gifts every couple of weeks. So yes, she asked for 3 things, we have got them all for her."

How is that not drip feeding? . She asked for opinions on the basis of her op, then adds several extra layers of information as an afterthought. That is the very definition of drip feeding (in forum terms).

fluffyraggies · 27/11/2014 22:32

But when a poster starts a thread about a situation why is there a need to mention what would be more hurtful? For everyone's problem, someone has it worse. We all know that.

(my observations weren't directed specifically at you as an attack, by the way Rose. It's just that i see it on a lot of threads and i find it odd)

RoseCavallari · 27/11/2014 22:37

Kind of feels like an attack to be fair, and the OP had a go too so I'm not sure how many more are going to come on dig their claws in.

I don't think grandparents buying their grandchild a small gift is a hurtful thing.

If the OP had said the full story I wouldn't comment "well it could be worse"

ThePinkOcelot · 27/11/2014 22:39

Mintyy, have you got pmt or something?

Op, yadnbu! I would not be impressed.

cococandyfloss · 27/11/2014 22:43

YANBU OP. That is annoying if it was on her list.

Mintyy · 27/11/2014 22:44

Oooh cheap shot ocelot!

sleeponeday · 27/11/2014 22:49

I don't think it's a dripfeed if something is the first question an OP raises, later to be clarified. A drip-feed is a left-field bit of info nobody could predict which totally changes a situation, no?

If I told someone the 3 things my child had asked Santa to bring, with the additional info that we had bought them in preparation for Christmas already, I would be annoyed. I defy anyone not to be. A coincidental oopsie is one thing - this is quite another.

RedToothBrush · 27/11/2014 22:54

Can I just make a point here.

Just because grandparents give a child a present it does not automatically make them wonderful grandparents. It does not necessarily mean they are interested in the grandchildren.

I believe there is a long running thread on MN entitled "But we took you to stately homes".

My point being that gifts do not always equate to love or respect.

The OP is getting a hard time because of the drip feeding which I understand but she is also getting told she should be grateful because of the grandparents having money.

I don't believe that you should always in that situation. Gifts can be used to manipulate or undermine others as well as being given with best intentions.

The OP said she wanted to cut down on the number of presents, that's a reasonable request. The grandparents have ignored this. Which makes me raise an eyebrow.

SomeSunnySunday · 27/11/2014 22:57

YANBU. I'd be annoyed. GPS here recently (oddly) bought DS1 (for no particular reason other than that they give the DCs a lot of plastic tat presents) something which they knew was on DS2's Christmas list (and which they should have realised that I'd bought and wrapped, given that the list - which we had shown them - was modest, DC3 is due imminently, and they know that our shopping / wrapping is all done). I was pretty pissed off. They didn't seem to see the problem because they gave it to DS1, not DS2.... (Inevitably all toys become communal here. And DS2 was pretty put out).

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 27/11/2014 23:10

Ah well, next year don't visit them or have them visit you once Santa list has been done. I would be very annoyed.

MNHQ

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 27/11/2014 23:12

Evening all

ilovesooty · 27/11/2014 23:20

Has the OP clarified whether these erring grandparents were her parents or her in laws?

Dawndonnaagain · 27/11/2014 23:22

'scuse me, if they bought something that they knew the parents had already bought and then got in first with it, that would seem a touch out of order. Or have I got it wrong?

ChasedByBees · 27/11/2014 23:26

Iristutu
For my children the biggest joy is the anticipation of waiting for 'that' toy.

If someone went and bough that toy. " just because it's a sunday" they would be spoilt monsters.

This. They have made it not special and I would be v annoyed.

To all those going on about drip feeding, calm the fuck down. If you don't like it, don't post. Don't write long angry missives about the definitions of drip feeding and how irate it makes you. Start something in site stuff. Don't derail this.

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