Just had very heated row with my sister

[Nancy66]

...over whether the mum in the song I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus was cheating.

My sister says the mum was clearly playing away and the kids saw it. I say it was her husband and the kids, in their innocence, didn't get that.

AIBU?

We did, however, agree that apart from the 5 Gold Rings the bloke buying presents in the 12 Days of Christmas song got it really wrong.

I'd change the bit about getting it up the back alley. Too much detail. Other than that, what could go wrong?

Bogeyface

You're right, your sister's wrong.

Look, it's clearly the husband:

I've always thought it was the day too. Of course mum wouldn't be shagging away form home on Christmas Eve, for goodness sake.

Your mention of the 12 days of Christmas, reminds me that for the whole of December my sister and I used to sing that song very loudly, for hours every night as we lay in bed. It must have driven our parents mad.

Well the back alley was a reference to where they were, probably so Daddy didnt see them. This was 1952 dont forget, the little girl would have needed to go down the garden for the loo.

Why, what else could it mean?

Although the Nikes dont fit with 1952 do they? Perhaps

All over his shoes so suede and blue?!

It is her dad

I started to read this and had a Superior Pat-on-the-Head, "yes, yes dear" type moment - but then I remembered the song I took literally for years and years....16 men on a dead man's chest, yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum? Great visions of a massive barrel-chested fella, big enough for 16 pirate-stylee chappies to sit on him. I think I only realised what the chest reference was when I saw an episode of Antiques Road Show and saw a Sea captain's trunk on it....ahhhh, lightbulb moment!

Love your Jeremy Kyle version Bogeyface

@ Bogeyface. I'm with Dora on the back alley ref tho

I thought the mum was cheating.

I always just thought it was in bad taste!

Also, it turns old Santa into a sort of creepy Pat Mustard fella - all those 'presents' are just an excuse to get at the other stockings on offer. All round the neighbourhood!

If you don't believe it's Dad dressed up, that is.

But if the kids actually think their mum is copping off with another man, that's their Christmas fucked isn't it.

Line that really did make me laugh out loud!

You're right.

I can definitely confirm it was daddy dressed as Santa

As for second point: everyone loves a Lord, and partridge is delicious.

I googled it to check the lyrics and found a Wikipedia entry:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Saw_Mommy_Kissing_Santa_Claus

which contains this amusing factette:

"Boyd's record was condemned by the Roman Catholic Church in Boston when it was released on the grounds that it mixed kissing with Christmas."

You right but i only got this last year. Until then i thought like your sister so therefore you both right as it seems its misleading... (Removes splinters)

Verse 2

I saw Daddy shagging Moms best friend
Round behind the bins at closing time
He bought her a drink
And she tipped him the wink
What a time she must have had
She dropped her large donner kebab

I saw Mommy hitting her best friend
With a Malibu bottle so white
The police soon came as well
Now Mommy is in a cell
And Daddy's looking a right sight!

Verse 3

I saw Granny kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
I really couldnt sleep
After the great heap
Of crap I've seen this Christmas
Please pass me the brain bleach.

Why are my family so Jezza Kyle?
Why cant they be like others that I know?
Forget "Walking in the Air"
I'm putting myself in care
Rather than the Jerry Springer Show!

I love your versions Bogeyface.

It's Santa!! She kisses him on the cheek in greeting as he drops off the presents. Common courtesy......and if you can't innocently tickle a fat man with a beard, who can you tickle?

Daddy was out getting the turkey.

This is pure class! I salute you witty mumsnetters!

Your sister is clearly wrong!