to hide this man's bag?

[BauerTime]

I wont really but I just want an excuse to rant.

Work in an office and there is some pretty serious stuff going on at the moment and so there are some 'important' types floating about. They are using spare desks as and when possible/necessary so its quite usual at the moment to come in, in the morning and find someone has used my desk the day before (im part time) and left bits and bobs lying around. Im fine with that though, no bother. The girl who sits opposite me is working on this serious stuff so has a lot of visitors through the day.

Anyway, I just went to get a cup of tea and when I came back there was a bag on my desk. No-one around so didn't know who it belonged to so I just moved it onto the floor next to my desk. Next think I know this self 'important' looking bloke strolls in, picks the bag up, puts it back on my desk, fishes around in it, tells the girl opposite that he will 'meet her at the meeting' and walks out, leaving it on my desk again.

How f*cking rude. No, 'sorry do you mind if I leave this here' or anything. I hate it when people think they are mega important. I don’t know who he is and I don’t care. Yes they are working on pretty important stuff and he may be someone very senior but why do people think that excuses them from general courtesy?

Any ideas on what to do with this bag are welcome. Its currently back on the floor next to my desk.

I want him to come back already!!

A small prawn or two, dropped quite accidentally from a sandwich into a concealed inner pocket would leave quite a stink wouldn't it?

Not that this would ever happen of course.

I bet he's only got a newspaper, a soggy sandwich and a pen rolling about in the bottom of it!

I hate this man

Oh I've just had a thought.

Maybe he was shown to "your" desk yesterday (when you weren't at work) and told it is "his" desk.

He's now in a meeting telling everyone that a mad woman is sitting at his desk, giving him dirty looks

I used to have to 'hotdesk'. When I was pregnant, I was granted the right to remain at one desk - woohoo! One passive aggressive manager type took great delight in always sitting at my desk - so I stuck up a picture of a uterus and a very graphic week by week baby's development chart. Never bothered me again after that...

bake its just a record-type bag. All I could see of the contents was what looked like a jumper and some headphones.

He just came back, had a quick look around and noticed it under the other woman's desk. He picked it up and moved it to lean against a cupboard opposite then walked back out for about 20 seconds. Came back in, picked it up and held it against his chest kind of cuddling it, whilst having a very important chat with the other woman for 2 or 3 minutes then walked out again and I think he has gone.

He clearly loves the bag, but that just makes me wonder more why he left it lying around?

Downright rude of him. I would be annoyed. I know the type. If you say something, he will look at you in amazement as if thinking 'oh it speaks, this insignificant creature'... Mutter, mutter.
I'd keep dumping it off my desk every time it's left there, and I wouldn't be very careful about it either.

Rehome it somewhere public but choose somewhere it's not easy to spot (maybe a few papers could somehow get placed on it accidentally?) then deny having seen it since soon after he left it.

Much fun to be had watching him flap round looking

Get a cardboard box, print out a label with 'lost property' on it, and pop it on a high shelf or at the top of a filing cabinet. Then every time you find someone's left their bag/mug/jacket on your desk, deposit it in the lost property box. If anyone asks you if you've seen their bag/mug/jacket, ask them if they've looked in the lost property box. Repeat ad nauseum until they get the message that your desk is not a dumping ground.

Oh, and work on your 'don't fuck with me' face.

Wibblypig.

Aww he's gone.

Was going to suggest unhooking the strap only on one side, my 'friends' used to do this at school so that when I went to pick my bag up all I was holding was basically a bag strap attached only by one end like a dog on a lead! Tbf this only works if you do it EVERY time as, as a once off it's not annoying enough!

Also an ex-boss wanker unfortunately had his luggage controlled exploded outside of Charles De Gaulle airport once - couldn't have happened to a nicer man

Too late to suggest you unpick the seam at the bottom of the bag, thereby rendering it useless and having the joy of seeing the entire contents of his bag life spilt all over the office.

Drat.

Or put a fish in it. An old fish.

don't worry i'm sure he will be back in the coming days or weeks and ill update you if I mess with him.

My desk is right by the door and opposite woman also working on very important serious stuff PLUS im only here 3 days per week. Clearly its seen as fair game. I don't really mind though, its just the rudeness and the 'im so much more important than you' attitude. I do not entertain those types of people.

I have also got someone's Tupperware of instant coffee and travel mug/flask thingy on my desk today. They are not bothering me as they are tucked away in the corner all neatly and considerately. Its as if they have thought about the fact that they have left them there might be an imposition and have taken steps to minimise that. I like coffee person much better than bag man.

This has all the makings of the beginning of an excellent chick lit book.

Definitely coumarin.
They will eventually fall in love and after many misunderstandings (that girl in accounts who turns out to be his sister) will finally snog under the Christmas mistletoe while the snow falls and the children's choir sing carols.

Open the window 10 floors up, get your bowling arm ready...and swing the fucking thing out the window.

Coumarin, or anyone in fact, I give you full permission to write that book. Just dedicate it to me or something.....and bag man obviously (aka the future Mr BauerTime)

Chapter One
"Who's put that bag on my desk?" muttered Louella as she tried to concentrate on writing the report for Ms Boss-lady. Everyone in the office looked innocently at her as she scooped it up and dumped it unceremoniously on the floor. "Honestly", she exclaimed to anyone who would listen, anyone would think this was HIS desk, not mine,. Just because I'm a part timer...."
"Calm down" said her nice colleague Jo, with a smile. "Just put a fish in it, spill you coffee over it and lob it out of the window"......

I'm joining this thread for future hooliganism updates.

Don't stop, Dido!

put some pads under the bag.
when he takes the bag, pick them up and wave them in his face and shout 'OH. THATS where they are'

then run off to the bog.

He will never bother you again

"Calm down" said her nice colleague Jo, with a smile. "Just put a fish in it, spill you coffee over it and lob it out of the window"......

Dido

You HAVE to write this now - you're committed and you don't want to disappoint us all!

Oh, gellicleCat, I think you are onto something there. That's magnificent.

Makings of a book? Man leaves his bag on someone's desk, probably preoccupied because of the 'serious stuff' . Ok, that may have been rude, but just leave it under your desk and I'm sure he will collect it later. He has hardly committed the crime of the century. How many pages will this book be, 1 or 2?
If I were your supervisor/manager, I would be concerned about the amount of time you spend on MN during work hours.

This thread is so funny!

In a job I had years ago my stupid boss thought it would be a good idea to take on more people than we had desks. I had been there for ages so already had "my" desk but would come in each morning to find some random person sitting there. It used to drive me mad!!