to hide this man's bag?

[BauerTime]

I wont really but I just want an excuse to rant.

Work in an office and there is some pretty serious stuff going on at the moment and so there are some 'important' types floating about. They are using spare desks as and when possible/necessary so its quite usual at the moment to come in, in the morning and find someone has used my desk the day before (im part time) and left bits and bobs lying around. Im fine with that though, no bother. The girl who sits opposite me is working on this serious stuff so has a lot of visitors through the day.

Anyway, I just went to get a cup of tea and when I came back there was a bag on my desk. No-one around so didn't know who it belonged to so I just moved it onto the floor next to my desk. Next think I know this self 'important' looking bloke strolls in, picks the bag up, puts it back on my desk, fishes around in it, tells the girl opposite that he will 'meet her at the meeting' and walks out, leaving it on my desk again.

How f*cking rude. No, 'sorry do you mind if I leave this here' or anything. I hate it when people think they are mega important. I don’t know who he is and I don’t care. Yes they are working on pretty important stuff and he may be someone very senior but why do people think that excuses them from general courtesy?

Any ideas on what to do with this bag are welcome. Its currently back on the floor next to my desk.

at the Disney cool bag explosion. What made them do it, did she leave it unattended?
I second the hole punch/plastic spider/dog poo suggestions. My friend "accidentally" ran over her bosses huge man bag in her wheeled office chair after he frequently left it strewn under her desk so he could move his legs freely under his (wanker). I will never forget the ominous crunch as we realised his iPhone was inside. To his credit he never mentioned it so maybe she just cracked the case hope not though

Have you had a rummage through the bag yet?? Have a look and see if he has any nice stationary/diary/iPad etc. and make a point of using it when he returns.

Then when he asks you what you are doing you can say 'oh I'm sorry, I thought by leaving the bag on MY desk you were giving it to me, I just love my new iPad!!'

Would you like to borrow my baby OP? He managed to vomit directly into my cup of tea that was by the side of my chair this morning.

My classmate had her bags exploded by French police after accidentally leaving it on a train whilst travelling home from our French Exchange visit!

And she did it due to being very very drunk, so the insurance company refused to pay out (for practically all of her clothes). Our teacher point blank refused to sign the forms confirming what happened, as there was a clause which said 'the claimant was not under the influence of alcohol or drugs' when it happened (she was very pissed off about us getting plastered before we set off, understandably).

Do Your Duty and report the unattended bag to security.

Could be suspicious ...

Never mind the plastic poo

Eat his sandwiches, shit in his bag and tell him the sandwiches have been recycled

grumpy that really made me laugh

Find his diary and change times!

I feel sorry for my girls, they appear to be inheriting my sense of humour

Please empty the hole punch into it!

Lock it in the stationery cupboard. It might contain valuables

Gosh with all the security issues / alerts right now a strange unaccompanied bag would HAVE to be handed in & blown up in the car park by the Bomb Squad
and securely dealt with surely?

Gothic beat me too it

I too was going to say wait until you see him coming and start going through it, when he asks wtf you are doing just say as it's on YOUR desk you assumed it had been left there FOR YOU!

Ignorant twat.

Or just print out this thread and leave it in his bag amongst his important papers for him to find later

May think twice about leaving it on other people's desks in the future and will probably think he got off lightly with no shit inside and no explosions or coffee

I don't have a hole punch Kato!

Girl opposite has now returned from the meeting but rude man is not back yet.

Borrow a hole punch quick! Twat that he is.

I would go and put it in the doorway of the room Theyre in so when they open the door they all go 'what daft twat has left their bag here' and one of them will have to say it's his.

Stop pussyfooting around! This bloke is the kind of self important stuffed shirt who wears nylon Y fronts, reads Carp and Bass Weekly, lives with his Mum (who secretly hates him) and buys his shoes at 2 for £10 from the Daily Mail.
Just take his bag to the dunny and have a giant dump in it!

Quick op take to security or empty the photocopier toner nearby....also print off this post....

Can you enlist anyone who has a similar looking bag, that could be involved in a totally innocent and understandable mix up? With his bag maybe leaving the building? For an extended period of time? Maybe it got taken on a flight by mistake? What a shame...all those terribly important papers you need today.... And your iPad.... Oh how inconvenient!

What a dick!
Keep it at your feet so when he comes back and starts looking for it, he can't see it. He'll obviously be expecting you to be holding it with the handle poised for him to grab, but you will have a Super Important Email to finish (laboriously) before you can pay the huffing puffing Important Person any attention.Then turn to him slowly, smile and say 'May I help you?'

Oh and when handing him the bag, drop it and all of its contents.

Am I the only one who wants to know what kind of bag it is?

Or actually - I could be thinking about this too much - ask him if he expected you to do something with the bag as he left it on your desk. What a tosser.

Leaky pen in a side pocket?