Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask why my other thread got closed?

87 replies

Mammanat222 · 25/11/2014 08:54

Bit annoyed that the last few pages were spent completely slating me and I now don't have a chance to defend myself?

Feel as though it all turned into a bit of a witch hunt in the end and it would have been nice (not to mention fair) if I was given the opportunity to at least counter being called a snake and a terrible friend and accused of instigating a bitch fest.

Sorry if starting this thread goes against any rules??

OP posts:
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 25/11/2014 10:01

I'm always shocked as to which threads rack up the most comments on MN. I remember a thread about where to put used tampons getting very heated Hmm

For what it is worth OP, I agree about the carpet thing. IMO it is common decency to take off your shoes regardless of the carpet. If your friend knew son would be difficult, she could have suggested meeting somewhere else.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 25/11/2014 10:02

Line Grin

MunningCockery · 25/11/2014 10:04

Point of Order Q - IS this a TAAT OR a thread about an OP's right of reply? Am bit Confused TBH

shamelessly about to open another tab to search for the thread in question as now v curious

Ah-HA...

Here you go folks who are as blissfully ignorant about CarpetGate as I am - have found it...

Will now scan read as def have a spare 15 min or so to kill AKA procrastinating wildly on boring but ness housework shit Blush

MunningCockery · 25/11/2014 10:05

Line Grin

UsedtobeFeckless · 25/11/2014 10:07

There you go Grin!

^Ah! What is friendship? When the rain it falls
A friend will take their wellies off inside the hall^

Stick that on one of those pre-knackered shabby-sick little signs and shove it in the hall and the job's a good 'un!

UsedtobeFeckless · 25/11/2014 10:08

Why aren't my italics working? ( Sulks ... )

Aherdofmims · 25/11/2014 10:09

I think you were reasonable - I thought that at the time but didn't get round to posting.

She must have had a really bad day to react like that.

We always have shoes off because I don't really like doing more housework than necessary. I've never had any problem with that.

Yackity · 25/11/2014 10:11

Thanks Munning - had been meaning to see how that thread ended.

Oh and I have wooden floors and a washable rug in the lounge room and I STILL wouldn't let someone wear muddy wellies in the house.

lauranorder50 · 25/11/2014 10:22

The shitty remarks of wellie boot child's mum i.e. told you twice....would have got my hackles up. Sneering references to Hyacinth Bucket as she left would have made me surprised/cross/angry/hurt.

Is this what our friendship has come to/become ? Would have been my silent question.

The wellie boot child's mum was rude, lazy and disrespectful to carpet owning mum. To me, the friendship would have died there and then. As in silently thinking, 'yeah, fuck off you stupid cow and take your lazy, idle ill disciplined child with you. Child is a product of your lazy parenting now both of you just fuck off.'

I'm waiting for the reverse thread to appear, even if it's written by a troll on the most glorious wind up. I'm waiting for it to go nuclear if wellie boot child's mum gets to know about this thread.

Most of all, I'm curious regarding the outcome. Do wellie boot child's mum and carpet owning mum ever speak again ? Cooling off period but things never the same again ? Storm in a tea cup and all friends again soon ? All swept under the carpet oops, no pun, because of Christmas ?

Carpet was neither here or there I don't think. It was a battle of wills over the wellie boots coming off child's feet and the resulting tantrum or whatever when it was time to put footwear back on child's feet. All for someone else's carpet.

Shame it's come to this, but it's come to this.

PrettyLittleMitty · 25/11/2014 10:25

Do we really have to do this again? It was fucking boring the first time.

Mammanat222 · 25/11/2014 10:27

Do we really have to do this again? It was fucking boring the first time

Yet you post on this thread and must have read some of the last one?

OP posts:
Boomtownsurprise · 25/11/2014 10:31

You were trolled a bit by the end I think.

You were right.

End of really

Happy chrimbo op! Xmas Grin

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 25/11/2014 10:33

Pretty heres a novel idea, don't read the fucking thread. You're welcome.

OddFodd · 25/11/2014 10:35

You have the moral highground OP. Occupy it gracefully and do the same when your friend gives you her eventual apology.

:)

Jessbun16 · 25/11/2014 10:43

YABU. I let all my friends tramp through my cream carpeted house with mucky wellies on. Don't you know it's the height of rudeness to ask someone to remove dirty shoes at the door?

Hmm
Metalguru · 25/11/2014 10:49

Ywdnbu.
The comments saying, "friendship is worth more than a carpet" I find ridiculous. That isn't the point, you don't give in to someone's (or their child) every whim just because you are friends, friendship is a two way street. Kids are hard work, but we do them no favours by letting them ignore somebody else's perfectly reasonable rules just to give ourselves an easier life. I would have said to my child, either take your boots off and come in, or we will leave and I will come without you another time.

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 25/11/2014 11:17

Hi op,

I posted quite a lot on your thread and completely supported you.

The thought of mud on my carpet gives me palpitations and the rude behaviour of your friend was baffling.

Her spoiling and indulging of her child would finish the friendship for me anyway. Can't be doing with daft parents.

The last page of your thread was daft in an attempt to calm things gown and it was me who had the dubious honour of the last post.

My sons cat shits in the bath. Grin

I absolutely couldn't understand anyone thinking you were unteasonsble but it's quite legitimate for posters to do so.

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 25/11/2014 11:20

Pretty play nicely elsewhere then.

Boomtown not sure she was trolled at the end exactly but some of us supporting her felt this was such a sure yanbu that it descended into farce.

Especially friends were worth more than carpets crap.

MarshaBrady · 25/11/2014 11:22

Fair enough op

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 25/11/2014 12:08

Why aren't my italics working?

You went on to a new line. The code doesn't like a break so you need to edit any quotes so that the lines all run along together. HTH.

UsedtobeFeckless · 25/11/2014 12:24

Ah, right ... Thanks.

Especially friends were worth more than carpets crap

Just to clarify - I'm totally shoes off as we live in the middle of a field. If I had new, pale carpets there would be a complete exclusion zone for everyone in anything but socks. I would be deeply unimpressed by non-welly-removal and subsequent arsy-ness.

But ...

You've been mates for 20 years. It sounds like she's struggling. You're in the right but is it worth losing a long friendship over? Deep down she probably knows she's bang out of order. I wouldn't apologise but I wouldn't actually tell her to fuck off forever either. I'd stay vaguely in touch until she calms down then see what happened.

BlueGreenHazelGreen · 25/11/2014 12:32

Pretty for once we don't need to ask the age old MN question because you did, quite clearly, mean to be rude...

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 25/11/2014 12:38

Not to go over the whole thing again. No floor covering or footwear comments I can recount my own experience of a friend and her younger child.

I became friends with a woman through our first DCs. We got along like a house on fire, became really close and people who didn't know us often thought we were sisters. It was that good a friendship and it's still going 20 odd years on.

She then had another DC who was difficult as a baby, very difficult as a toddler and very very unpleasant to be around as he grew up. Even as a young adult he really isn't very nice.
She would moan about his behaviour and things that he'd done and he upset her quite a bit, but it was noticeable that she wasn't very firm with him at all and that he ruled the roost.
Whether she'd have been the same with her first DC if they'd been as challenging we'll never know. Maybe she would've, or maybe she just found this particular child difficult.

I always thought that I would have been quite different with him, much firmer and at odd times we talked about that, but never in the heat of any particular situation and only because she instigated the conversations.
As I say not much has changed, he still gives her the runaround, she's fully aware of what he's like but at least I don't have to be a party to it any more.

I thought the problem with your friend OP was in the way she spoke to you. From subsequent information I guess that's because she feels isolated and perhaps that she's the only one who can't deal with her son satisfactorily?.
I think I said on your other thread that I'd let the dust settle and leave it to her to get in touch. Hopefully she and her DH will have a heart to heart and start to work some things out between them.

LoisHatesChristmas · 25/11/2014 12:44

You didn't murder anyone op, just had a vent on an anonymous forum hope you and your friend sort it out. Please make your next thread about helium balloons or party invites Grin

Brummiegirl15 · 25/11/2014 12:55

Aaah carpet gate. I read your thread and I was shocked.

Whilst I don't ask people to take shoes off. Muddy wellies?? No chance!!!

And I move house next Friday - top to toe cream carpets and 3 cats. No dcs yet.

But there will be no shoes on my new carpets!!!!