To think that people who interrupt people who are reading are really, really bloody rude.

[Niamhisnotarealname]

Scenario; sat eating lunch, reading happily. Woman from work exclaims 'oh, are you eating on your own? l'l sit with you!' and then without waiting for me to answer plonks herself down with a big smile and starts eating, clearly expecting me to talk to her.
I, carry on reading. When she is finished she gets up and says in a snarky fashion 'well that was enlightening, thank you'
I reply, 'its nothing personal, I just like to read on my own at lunch.' (thinking, hence why i was sat on my own, reading) She says, 'well just so you know I got rid of 4000 books before I moved here'. ?

there's another one that does it too. says hi, asks if i'm having a nice day (to which i politely say hi, yes thank you) and then proceeds to ask me about what i'm reading. and so i have to stop reading and talk.

It really winds me up, which is why today i just sat reading instead of starting a conversation like she clearly expected.

What is it about these people that makes them think that their time and what they want is more important than my time and what i want?

Raaarrrgghhhhhh

Of course Jux, but I'm sure I can irritate people in ways I can't even imagine.

My mum is always horrified when I tell her that in the summer months if I'm day shift or late shift I go to Costa get a large coffee then park in the far corner of a supermarket car park drinking my coffee listening to the radio and reading. She thinks I'm very anti social. I enjoy getting out and some peace and quiet and besides I have no desire to socialise with most of my colleagues

I read all the time I can. I read while cooking, I read in the bath, I read while on hold on the phone, I read in the car (I don't drive!) ... OH is not a reader. He will read 2 lines and then turn the tv on. And then want to discuss whatever he's watching while he's watching it and worse, while I am still reading.

I would read in my lunch time and if someone spoke to me to ask what I was reading, it was not because they wanted to discuss the book (which is acceptable to me, to gain another POV if you've read the same book) but more, "I'm here, amuse me" so when they said, "what are you reading?" I would tell them the title and a tiny precis of the story and their response would be "are you watching Corrie tonight?"

If I'm bored I will go and lay on the bed and pick up a book. I have around 4 books on the go at once, yes, I can keep all the plots clear in my head some I've read umpteen times before and it's nice to just go back and re-read a good chapter, some I'm in the middle of, and others are just books I've spotted in a charity shop and it looked interesting.

I also read and knit as knitting is a task you don't need to think about.

Someone who just plonks themselves down next to you and tries to chat is being rude in my opinion if all the signs are that you just want to be alone!

Fair enough if you're regularly looking up and taking part in chit chat and not really focussed on your book but otherwise, let people who want to read, read!

bakewell, I like that. That's such a nice way to start the conversation but I bet her son took it personally!

The opposite is extreme is the 'oh, it's nice to chat isn't it, I bet you can do with the company!' from well-meaning arseholes who obviously think you've resorted to a book purely to block out the horror of being unable to open your mouth for an entire journey.

precious

No I don't think so, he was a lovely, easygoing young guy -just having a quiet journey! She said it in a very matter of fact way and it turned out she was a publican so used to dealing with folk!

I agree with skylark and loveareadingthanks

This woman obviously didn't think she was being rude, she presumably thought she was being friendly in coming over to keep you company. I know it is annoying if you just want to sit quietly and read but I think in your shoes I would have (regretfully) put the book aside and attempted to be sociable.

And yes to the scenario of using a book as a prop when you are alone. I have done this in the past when working away and having to eat in a restaurant alone

I think you were quite rude - would it have killed you to say thanks, but I need some time alone right now? Chat later?

Imagine how she saw it - 'Today at lunch, one of my friendly and sociable coworkers was sat alone with a book at lunch time. I thought she'd like company so went over and said hello, sat down and she didn't even acknowledge my existence, didn't put her book down or anything. I made a silly comment which i regret, but AIBU to think she could have at least said hi?'

What is it about these people that makes them think that their time and what they want is more important than my time and what i want?

unless you tell them what you want, they won't know.

Can't you just say, "sorry, I am in the middle of this."?

I think the other woman was incredibly rude, particularly the sarky comment at the end of the conversation! Who does she think you are? Someone to entertain her over lunch?

Couldn't disagree more with the poster above who said that most people think those reading in restaurants are doing it to save face. What a load of old cobblers. If I read in a restaurant, it's because I want to. I'd assume that's what others are doing too, never that they're sitting turning pages in the vain hope that someone might 'rescue' them with a conversation.

Writtenguarantee, isn't the fact that you're sitting alone reading a book enough of a clue to what you want?

Do people honestly think that a book is a last resort? That reading is such an awful boring thing to do that you can't possibly be doing it simply because you actually want to?

If you want company, don't people look up, put the book down and say "hello" when someone appears?

Writtenguarantee, isn't the fact that you're sitting alone reading a book enough of a clue to what you want?

just be explicit, I say. if you don't want to talk, say so. Not everyone reading a book is deep into the book. In some cases I would welcome intrusion, and others not. What I don't get is the outrage when someone doesn't give you what you want when you have even told them.

However, I would also say that I wouldn't walk up to someone I didn't know that well and just sit down and assume to have a conversation. it is rude. I guess I just don't get the outrage. It's not the objection itself, it's the strength of it.

unless you tell them what you want, they won't know

It's not rocket science is it? Someone's busy. Don't interrupt them.

Why should the onus be on the person reading, who doesn't want attention, to deflect those who wish to disturb them? Surely if you see someone engrossed in a book, you assume they're busy and don't disturb them...?

She was being a bit thoughtless that you'd acknowledge her and maybe offer a word of two of conversation, no wonder she gave a sarky response when she left.

You on the otherhand come across a right dick irrespective of how it all started. Well done for a proving a point.. I'm sure she's putting a medal in the post for you as we speak.

Surely it's obvious when a reader is happy to be interrupted, and when they wish to be left alone?! If someone greets a reader, and the reader then closes or puts the book/kindle down, they are interested in a conversation. If the book or kindle stays firmly open/in hand/switched on, then they quite obviously wish to continue reading.

GemmaWella81 Your last sentence is needlessly rude and sarcastic. Worse than the interrupting woman.

Niamh afraid not lol just a kindred spirit (or poltergiest)

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks I always just respond these days with "a book". That pisses them off.

I don't bother with books in work anymore as it's too hard to get a minute as people always start a conversation.
My dh is the worst offender. I'm sitting reading in my comfy chair and he's watching tv and keeps saying look at this , what you think of that , oh look at this bit. I do feel like shoving remote down his throat. One night recently I got so sick of him I kept interrupting him saying oh honey listen to this in my book and reading it out , leave it another few mins and I'd interrupt him again and read another section. He was looking at me like I had horns growing out of my head.

I like eating in restaurants alone. I also read while I'm doing it. I like to go and have a half lager alone once in a blue moon. I read then too.

Would the Interruptors (for want of a better descriptor ) leave a reader alone if:
someone were reading a magazine?
it were a technical manual?
it were work papers?

How about if they held a pencil and were making occasional marginalia?

I am genuinely interested. I have noticed that if I am reading something which requires note taking then I am interrupted less. Though, actually, for the last 15 years, the essays and text books I read are read for my pleasure and are not for work; it just looks like work.