To hate doing homework with DS..

[storminabuttercup]

It makes me want to scream. This week he's got pictures to match to words and has to write the word next to the picture. He keeps scribbling, won't hold his pencil properly and generally just can't do it. No matter what I try. He recognises the letters, can read the words but I'm fucked if I can get him to write them. It's every Sunday that we end up stressed at each other.

Totally makes me feel like a bad mum!

He's 4 by the way, just started school in sept and is an august baby.

AIBU to dread this time of the week?

He's too young to get stressed over homework every week. If I were you I'd get it out every week and let him have a go, but not worry too much about the finished product. Have a word with the teacher and tell her he's finding it tricky and you don't want to force him too young. I imagine she'll agree with you.

Just stick a post it note on saying he struggled to hold his pencil properly and write the words. Then leave it.

If he can't write them, he can't write them. Instead of getting agitated, let him do the joining, attempt the scribble, then hand it in.

In the meantime work on his fine motor skills, buy him some pencil grips to make it easier, stop putting so much pressure on him.

Some of the kids will be a year older than him and well able to manage this homework. He can't yet, but he will.

We always do homework Friday evenings, DS is asd and he worries until it's done. So even before he gets out of his uniform Friday it gets done.

Try and make homework fun.

The teacher don't mind unfinished homework, as long as he has had a go. Scribbling will be ok, he is 4 not many 4 year old can hold a pencil correctly and write.

If he can read the words and recognise the letters then he's doing really well for four.

I wouldn't worry about the writing at this stage - just let him have a go even if it does end up being scribble. Put a note to the teacher saying he read the words and letters but couldn't quite manage writing.

He's still so little - he'll get there x

Thank you all I do think he is too young. I think I will let him draw lines between them to show he knows the words.

Any tips on these fine motor skills? Lego maybe? Anything else?

It's a joke isn't it. homework for four year olds. There's a reason teachers break down sessions into bite size chunks because they can't focus for more than a few mins at a time. and are then expected to do homework that takes longer than they dare attempt to teach for.

There's no proof it even gels, reading is plenty and kids need to run about and rest at weekends not get upset at work.ghats beyond them. and the fear of everyone being disappointed it's wrong.

You will probably get a bunch of people tell you it's good practice for adult life but that's bollocks. homework.at four has no bearing on being prepared in later life to do work at home.

for you and for your poor ds who's brain is fried as any small child's is at the weekend.

gels? helps

You are right Giles does seem like a lot of work. 12 words in total. We've stopped for today as he's had enough.

Get a pencil grip (we have big chunky one that practically fills ds's hand). Write lightly in yellow pen and ask him to write over the top with pencil.

I've printed off loads of free pencil skills worksheets off the internet with various types of lines and pictures to make it more appealing for little ones.

We've also got a few cheap supermarket workbooks, think they're for 3+ but my 5yr old still loves doing them!

I FUCUCKING HATE HOMEWORK FOR PRIMARY AGED CHILDREN!!!!!!!!

phew, that feels better.

www.amazon.co.uk/The-Pencil-Grip-Pack-Of/dp/B000WEO5SC

This is what DC have

I think homework should start in year 6 as it will get them ready for comprehensive school, but that's a whole other thread.

Try playdoh, lots of pinching, squeezing, rolling. Big tweezers to pick up little toys, and posting coins through piggy bank slot.

We have had a lot of difficulties as my DS's teachers didn't manage to install the pincer grip with him. He holds the pencil in his fist. I second getting pencil grips for yours. I'm hopeful your DS has got the correct grip but it's so hard for them to alter it later on, much easier to make sure it's right now.

There are a load of fine motor skills suggestions here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1882693-How-to-improve-fine-motor-skills-in-4yo

My DS is also an August baby, now in Y1. His fine motor skills improved so much over the year. There really is no point in forcing handwriting in a child who isn't physically ready.

I totally agree Piper. P6/ year 6 absolutely fine, but getting 4,5,6 year olds to continue the work load after a full day of schooling is mental imo.

Absolutely don't do it.

I had battles every week with ds & homework, it was destroying our Sundays (I work Friday nights & Saturday day tunes so it was the only time we had)

I came to the conclusion that I would facilitate homework eg provide a quiet place, essential equipment & be available to talk through the instructions to make sure he understood what was required. Butt it had to be completed independently & if it wasn't done it wasn't done.

If you want my wisdom (of hindsight) then just do yhe bits he wants to do and leave the rest. Ds1 and I had terrible battles of his writing/him writing in reception -so much so that I eventually just left it to the school to teach him. He was writing a bit by end of reception but not more than a bit til the end of Y1. But it came and his lack of ability and enthusiasm didn't hold him back overall.

I'm actually a big fan of primary homework, in moderation, and we've had some fantastic topics that have really engaged them (ds2 busy building a model of our solar system as we speak) but it does have to be a positive experience.

They really shouldn't be getting homework at 4.

At the very most, spend 20 non-stressed minutes on it and write a note "littlebuttercup spent 20 minutes on this but struggled to hold his pencil or write the words".

Thank you all. Ordered some grips.

Off to read the motor skills thread now.

Feel much better now

The occupational therapist showed us lots of exercises with ds1
Stress ball, we also had a stretchy sponge bob for him to play with
Gripping paper between your thumb and finger and the other person trying to take it
Lego
Thumb wars
Playdoh

YANBU it's frigging AWFUL! I just had to do number lines with 6 year old DD. Her penmanship is similar to that of an experimental artist on acid....she knows the answers but her presentation is illegible.

We have just finished up homework with my four year old boy, also August born.

There were highs, there were lows, there were gritted teeth (me) and quivering lips (him), there was frustration, there was applause.

It's over now, and even though there were low points, I don't mind doing it, and I don't think he does either as in the space of five minutes I see him go from not being able to write the letter 'g', to doing it beautifully. However, if there was no discernible progress all all, then I think I Would wrap up very quickly if I sensed frustration because it is going to do nothing but eat into confidence.

I didn't used to do ds's homework with him at that age because it just caused a big scene and made us both unhappy. I just used to ignore it. Now he's a couple of years older he will usually do it. I tell him the answers if he's getting stressed out though! I'm glad I didn't pressurise him because he is now showing an interest in schoolwork and improving in all areas