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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding invitation - AIBU?

28 replies

Eeeeekyeeek · 22/11/2014 23:56

We've received a wedding invitation from a friend.

It's from "Mr and Mrs Smith" inviting us to the wedding of their daughter Jenny Smith to our friend Mr Jones.

Our mate is nearly 50, his wife to be a few years younger.

Is it just me? Or is having your parents inviting people to your wedding when you're that age a bit, um, knobby weird?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 22/11/2014 23:59

Haha! It does sound weird Grin

But some people just love tradition I suppose.

DoughnutSelfie · 23/11/2014 00:00

Awwww I think it's quite sweet. Bless.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 23/11/2014 00:01

I don't see what difference the bride and groom's age makes TBH, you either want to do the traditional thing or you don't.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 23/11/2014 00:02

I think those kind of invitations are a bit old fashioned and odd at any age

MrsHathaway · 23/11/2014 00:05

The parents invite if they're paying. Might they be paying?

fluffymouse · 23/11/2014 00:39

Its just tradition yabu and a but mean to judge.

BlinkAndMiss · 23/11/2014 00:41

Oh they sound sweet and traditional. YABU and a bit mean.

maddy68 · 23/11/2014 00:47

It's the correct etiquette. Fail to see the problem?

Idocrazythings · 23/11/2014 00:53

Is it Jenny's first marriage? Maybe she's waited all her adult life for this and has a set way she would like it done?

It would be very strange if her parents were no longer alive though!!!

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 23/11/2014 01:04

Maybe the parents want to do it that way and it seemed a small thing to do to make them happy? That's what I would think most likely with anyone I was friends enough to receive an invite from. I would also probably be more likely to be slightly jealous of the situation and think it sweet rather than think it knobby, but that says more about me and my family situation than anything else I'm sure.

mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 23/11/2014 01:42

Oh stop being so professionally offended. It's the norm.

DuchessDisaster · 23/11/2014 07:16

We were both over 40 when we got married. I arranged a very traditional wedding and the invitations came, in the traditional way, from my parents, although I composed the wording, did the layout, printed them and sent them and the RSVP was to our address.
I see nothing wrong or weird in that.
On the contrary, I am sure that friends and family would have been very surprised to have received anything whacky or "different".
If it makes any difference, we paid for the wedding ourselves.

Bowlersarm · 23/11/2014 07:20

I can see what you mean but yabu, it's their big day and they should do it any way they want to.

Mehitabel6 · 23/11/2014 07:21

Very odd! However just accept that some people are odd!

WilburIsSomePig · 23/11/2014 07:22

I think if that's what they wanted to do then fine; It's certainly not something I would sneer at or bitch about. The only issue here is that perhaps your 'mate' seems to have at least one not very nice friend. Are you a little jealous if his wife to be or something?

AuntieStella · 23/11/2014 08:01

It's traditional for the bride's first wedding, where she (symbolically, at least and regardless of age) leaves her parents home for her husbands.

No one has to follow that tradition, and those who object to the symbolism of a woman being transferred from parents' (father's if still alive) ownership to husband's would I expect reject it firmly (along with other chattel symbols in wedding tradition).

It shouldn't really be used for second and subsequent weddings (even if you had to move back in with your parents after a split).

But as it's a widespread habit, I don't find it weird for any wedding whether it fits the traditional rules or not. Nor would I find not using it weird.

BringMeTea · 23/11/2014 08:07

I do think it's a bit odd but live and let live.

Andrewofgg · 23/11/2014 08:46

OP What does it matter to you? Go to the wedding and enjoy it.

redexpat · 23/11/2014 09:13

We had it on ours to keep mum happy. Its the kind of thing that was proper in her day, and not something that dh and i really cared about one way or the other.

WD41 · 23/11/2014 09:49

I don't think that's odd at all, it's just traditional. If her parents are paying for the wedding, which they may well be doing, it's correct etiquette as they will be the official hosts.

HedgehogsDontBite · 23/11/2014 09:57

What I find weird is someone being sneery about about an invitation their friend sends them to possibly the most important day of their lives.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 23/11/2014 10:11

It's weird (and it's just as weird for an 18 year old bride), but YABU to think any other than "it's bit weird" but good luck to them all, there's lots of reasons why it's done.

BananaLeaf · 23/11/2014 10:58

I'd assume it means they are paying for it. Our wedding invitations were from ourselves as our parents did not contribute.

Original poster
Eeeeekyeeek · 23/11/2014 11:48

Ha ha, I knew I'd get bitchy comments. No I'm not jealous at all, in the slightest.

I'm not a traditionalist at all - I really thought only relatively young couples would have their parents do the inviting. Even then, I personally find it a bit odd unless, like has been said, the parents are paying and they're a very traditional sort of family.

Also it's not the bride (or the groom's) first wedding, they have three previous marriages between them hence all the more surprising.

But clearly I am being very unreasonable, and a bit mean. I truly wasn't intending to come across that way, I just find it all very strange.

OP posts:
APocketfulOfSpondulix · 23/11/2014 11:57

Yes, it's a bit weird. But I think sending invites from my parents would be weird anyway.

Arf at the "professionally offended" comment!