AIBU to think it is REALLY daft to get into debt buying xmas presents etc.

[IceBeing]

Do people really go into debt over christmas and if so, why?

Oh god so even saying I would take xmas goodies to a foodback makes me a dickhead.

I really am some sort of shithead aren't I?

as penance for my scroogyness I am gonna buy a dozen xmas cakes and a dozen pack of mince pies and take them to the local food bank.

That's such a good idea, I'm going to do it too :) Well, one of each anyway - I'm poor and, thank goodness, don't have to 'do' Christmas.

I am pigging out on Aldi Stollen, though.

Yup. Pretty much

Ha, xpost! Yeah, you are.

The whole santa story is deeply horrible. IF you are good you get presents! Because that is famously how the world works....

No wonder people feel shit if they can't afford presents! But why perpetuate this crap?

You can be a fabulously good person and have horrible shit happen to you. What you can afford to buy is not at all a reflection of your success/failure.

Good people don't get presents. Bad people don't go without.

Its not surprise your DD hates the ho ho man with your attitude.

I asked a friend of mine if her dc had stockings as she is born elsewhere and she said " yes they do but not bothered by them, we never had them as dc and cant see the point" so its little surprise with that attitude her dc are not bothered about their stockings, she probably doesnt put the performance in that the rest of us do !

I think its rude to call things tat under the tree.

I am not putting TAT under our tree thanks. One mans treasure is anothers junk and so on.

To me, tat is what my DM brought as a joke such as a dancing ugly parrot singing a christmas song. Bought ironically almost, of no use to anyone....and maybe bring a laugh, that is surely tat?

But lego? beautiful design kits, books, games, creative stuff, needed clothes, and so on are not tat.

Those of us that had lovely christmas as a child want to re create that for our DC, as child hood is short and you cant get it back, hence the pressure to make it lovely while they are young.

Would going into debt to give food to a foodbank be allowed?

I don't mean to sound flippant. Its just the way it is for us. We are not in dire straits money wise, just in what I consider to be "normal debt" (as in the same as pretty much everyone else) we will probably end up spending more than we can afford but we haven't been on a holiday in 5 years, I never go out, don't drink or smoke but I find immense joy and happiness in the run up to Christmas. To me it's worth every penny.

Jesus there are plenty of people in the situation where even looking to spend £30 to cover the cost of a chocolate orange and a chicken dinner with a cracker would put them into debt. Sometimes life is that hard

worra you said a 3 year old...pretty sure they are not in school at 3

Mine were all in the nursery attached to the Primary school at this age.

They sang songs about Santa

Watched the Christmas plays put on by the year 2 children

They had the Christmas Fete with Santa's Grotto

Every shopping centre in our area has a Christmas Grotto

If your child is only 3yrs old at the moment and you have never got into debt in order to treat them that's grand.

But remember there are many years ahead and most of us are only one serious accident away from poverty.

If you end up poor in the future and your child got to the age of say 10yrs, without never having had so much as a UK caravan holiday, I don't think anyone here would call you 'daft' for trying to spread the cost over the year.

And if they did, I'd think they were a pompous judgemental twat.

I do think it is awful that people get themselves into debt over Christmas because it is accepted that you need to buy a lot of presents in order to have a good time. Of course I blame the constant pressure from enormous retail outlets (in the form of advertising) and the non-stop threads on websites like Mumsnet where people are discussing what they are going to buy from August onwards and showing photos of enormous piles of presents they have bought for their dc for hundreds of pounds.

No, it does not make parents "bad people" for wanting to give their dc a wonderful Christmas. But I do think we need to have a handle on what a wonderful Christmas actually is.

sparkling please don't do that. Tell me what you were going to put in and I will put it in for you. I'm pretty sure you can donate online so I could even donate to your local bank.

Christmas debt, like any debt, is only bad if it is unmanageable and you cannot pay it back.

Our entire financial system is based on debt. It is not in itself evil.

Keeping to manageable is important. But no getting in debt for Christmas is not necessarily daft.

If you were needing to go into debt to give to a food bank then you would more than likely be in a situation where you would need to accept the help of one

Thanks but it's ok Ice I just wanted to check what the rules were WRT going into debt for stuff.

So Christmas and donating to foodbanks is not allowed.

Bah, humbug! Not understanding debt is one thing, but depriving your child of the magic of Christmas is just a crying shame. Maybe lightening up should be your new year's resolution?

worra whoa! That is some intense selling of xmas there. Why do nurseries do that?!?

I didn't deliberately put DD off Santa...just read her some Santa related stories last year and she instantly decided the whole idea was horrible.

sparkling you may obviously do what you like! I am only saying I might think you are daft. Plenty of people have been happy to tell me they think I am not only daft but a dickhead....so I expect we will all live.

I think the OP is just making sure poor people know their place.

How dare they try to join in with Christmas if it means spreading the cost over the year.

Ideas above their stations or what?

This is a horrible thread. Not the responses, the OP and the subsequent posts.

Some people will get into debt if they buy their child(ren) £20 worth of presents from the charity shop or Poundland. A lot of people are on the bare bones of their arse. Are their children meant to go without presents, not have a tree, have beans on toast for Christmas Lunch just so the family doesn't get into debt? Really?

I grew up in a family below hand to mouth- we frequently had to rely on the kindness of neighbours and strangers for handed-down clothes and random gifts of food. My father was extraordinarily profligate for himself whilst refusing to give my extremely frugal mother enough to keep 5 children on. However he insisted on splurges at Christmas, which was one of the rare days of the year we were guaranteed to see him, along with plenty of expensive food, whereas we were on the breadline or below the rest of the time. My poor mother spent Christmas Eve for a few years frantically hunting for last minute reductions in the shops.

As a result I find Christmas abhorrent. I have never had a mainstream relationship with it. With my own children, and living comparatively in a lot of comfort, I feel they don't need much in the way of presents at Christmas. They never have had much. And they don't expect it. If they wanted something expensive like a new phone or an ipad (none of them do), then they save to buy it from the wages from their part time jobs. Youngest DD does not expect massive things at Christmas either.

I really don't think it's healthy to splurge out at Christmas when you're living on the breadline- it just pushes back the time when your finances might recover a little even further away, making a guilt-free, debt-free Christmas even more remote every year.

And I feel I can say that as I've seen it happen and experienced it first hand.

On the other hand, growing up with nothing new was shit and some of my siblings have what I feel is a very strange attitude to things like second-hand clothing (ie two at least just won't give their children second hand clothes).

worra whoa! That is some intense selling of xmas there. Why do nurseries do that?!?

Because the kids love it

Not everyone is a miserable fuckwit

"Our entire financial system is based on debt. It is not in itself evil."

I don't think I agree with this.

In fact I am certain I don't. The only place where debt appears to be genuinely useful is in government....which is obviously why ours is trying to do the opposite.

Jesus. Some people really lack the ability to empathise with other people.