DD1 has a party at the weekend for her 7th birthday.
DD's best friend has recently moved schools to one a couple of towns over from us. DD wanted to still invite her. So I contacted her friends mum asking if DD's friend and her brother would like to come to DD's party. She asked if she could check dates and get back to me. Fair enough.
This was 2 weeks ago now and I text her this morning as I hadn't heard anything.
She told me that she is going to bring her son but that her daughter (DD's best friend) cannot come as she has been naughty.
She couldn't come to DD's tea party last year for the same reason. And she has cancelled twice for other play dates for the girls due to her daughter being naughty.
I responded that I am sorry to hear that and that my DD will be upset but thanked her for letting me know that her son is going to come to the party.
About an hour after that last text, she texted me back and said she might let her DD come to give my DD1 her present and then they will leave.
I responded (via text as I am at work and cannot phone her) not to do that as it would upset my DD to see her best friend but her not being allowed to stay for the duration of the party. I also said that I think it is unfair to her DD. To bring her, where she will see all of her old friends from her old school, playing together at a party and then told she cant stay. I did however say that I understand as parents we have to follow through on punishments.
I left it at that.
So I guess my question is was I unreasonable to say anything to her and point out that it would be unfair on her child (and mine) to do what she as planning. I think I have upset her now as she has not responded to me.
I never get involved in a parent disciplining their child and this is the first time I have come as close as this.
My heart goes out to her DD. I've noticed her mothers harsh punishments before, or to be honest what I perceive as harsh. Her mother dotes on her son, I've seen it with my own eyes. Her daughter can do no right and her son can do no wrong.
If I'm truly honest I think what she was planning was damn cruel and it is something my own nasty, narcissistic bitch of a mother would have done to me. I am probably biased though due to my own upbringing.