To say 'F*ck it' and stop dieting?

[Fabatforty40]

I am 40 years old. I weigh 11 stone 7lb. I am 5ft 4 inches tall and I think i've decided to just say 'fuck it' and stop dieting.

I feel like I've been dieting my whole life, and I woke up on my 40th birthday (Monday) and just thought 'I can't be arsed anymore'.

I feel like I've fluctuated between the high 10's and the low 12's (as in stone) my entire adult life and what if this is the size and weight I'm supposed to be? It's just endlessly exhausting to beat myself up and compare myself to other people. To swing from 'I'm being good' to 'Oh i'll be bad and have a cake/take-away' and I just want to stop doing it.

My only worry is that I feel like I'm giving up in a way, like I could be a size 10 again if I really pushed myself and really tried to lose weight, but I'm not sure it would make me any happier.

WIBU to do this?

I'm doing the only eating when actually hungry thing. Some days I only eat once a day. So far is good.

That's brilliant Bumb. How long have you been doing it?

Just a few weeks this time, 10 lbs gone, no drama.

I've lost 7.5stone and am now 11st7lbs and it's the happiest I've ever been. Stay where you are, don't put more on, don't lose any, but ultimately stop thinking about dieting and food for a while, life's pretty great when you do!

you can't run on an empty tank
of course not but we all have enough glycogen and fat stores to keep us fueled for waaaay more then 7 hours.

Do you think ancestral humans were able to eat 3 meals per day?

Humans have evolved to cope with food shortages, what we've not evolved to cope with are continual surpluses of hyper-stimulating and highly palatable food

Fuck the diet!

And what Wolfie said.

Suzanne as always it depends upon which evidence of ancestral man you look at. There is belief that stone age man was a grazer who would eat berries and nuts as and when he came across them in between hunting. Fasting has been around for a long time of course but I know of many people who fast for their religion and they tell me that at the end of the fasting day they feast and gorge on food to such an extent that they feel ill. It also causes disorded eating in many.
I can go for many hours sometimes not eating but then there are other days where it will bring on a 3 day migraine.
Food shouldn't need to be overthought so much though. If your hungry eat, when you have had enough and are satisfied, stop. Body led calorie control really.

Am 70, 5'3" and currently weigh 12st 6lbs. My aim is 10st 12lbs. I go to SW and find it very easy to stick to. I was 14st 3 and 1/2lbs in May when I started so I hope to have lost 2 stones by Christmas. I want to be a 70+ woman enjoying a cream cake and if I get down below 11 stones I reckon I can allow myself a cake a week and not go up too far.
Buy yourself an airfryer and enjoy chips and roasties without gaining weight. Buy only below 5% fat meat and sausages (Sainsbury's or a local butcher). Snack on fruit and eat no more than 4 slices of bread a day (wholemeal if possible). Watch the alcohol, pastry and fat and the weight will come off, slowly but permanently.

40 isn't that old! And I say that from the perspective of a 33 year old.

In my opinion, I will still be gymming and eating healthily way beyond 40. Right up until I die actually! Because looking good, feeling good and being healthy tends to go hand in hand. Added to which, I still want to be hot at 40!

By saying that yon are going to give up, does that mean you are going to eat whatever you want, whenever? Because if that's the case, then no, I would strongly urge you not to give up. You'll be 41, overweight and feel shit.

sounds just like me. Am 38. 5.1 and about 11.3 ish. 2 weddings and 2 kids in the last ten years have seen me go a stone either side of that but I always come back to it. I can and do run 5k and swim a fair bit too. Lowish carb approach helps me stay pretty constant but am no longer always trying to lose that extra stone. Am a 12-14, big boobs. I try to dress well for my shape and get a fair few compliments etc. A number of my friends and my mum CONSTANTLY talk about their weight, having good / bad days etc its SO DULL!! I like to drink wine, eat chocolate etc but don't have a 400 calorie cake from Starbucks with the coffee I order. BMI is such a blunt instrument. I agree with a different thread from a few days ago that we are to some extent in denial about what is normal now, but I think peace of mind and not hating yourself a little bit everyday is probably healthier than slighty slimmer waist. Just don't slip into complacency. Set a weight limit, or a pair of jeans that you must fit in comfortably as your upper limit and just ensure you don't creep above that.

Yeah, I think as long as you are healthy, all the energy and effort invested into dieting is wasted. Better to invest it into actually just accepting your body for the way it is with normal eating. Plus, you get to actually enjoy food and not be the boring annoying one who always orders a salad and doesnt have dessert when everyone else is!

I've dieted (caolrie-counting method) in the past, and liked the results, but eventually I always reach the stage where I think 'so am I really going to continue this for the rest of my life?' and the answer is 'no' so I just give up. Like you, I feel that my body has a natural weight that it wants to be, and with dieting I can get it down by about a stone, but no more. Ultimately, that stone just isn't worth it to me. I'd rather eat normally, not obsess negatively about food, and carry the extra stone and dress size.

I'm 31, and I do worry that my 'eating normally' weight will start creeping up over the years...but will cross that bridge if and when I come to it!

By the way, for me 'eating normally' / 'not dieting' doesn't mean eating whatever the hell you want whenever you want it. I think it's definitely important to think about the basics of portion size, plenty of fruit and veg, not overdoing the snacks and sugary treats, etc etc. Rather 'not dieting' means nothing is off limits, and you are not a slave to an arbitrary set of rules about what/how much/at what times you can and can't eat.

Yes, stop dieting. Start being healthy.

There's a difference. Dieting requires restricting what you eat and counting calories.

Being healthy is a lifestyle change where you can eat junk food if you want, but you do it in moderation and eat healthy. If you can build healthy habits, then the weight will follow, or not. You can still be chubby and healthy. As long as you're not morbidly obese, weight isn't a big deal. Your health is. Take care of yourself so you're not living in and out of the hospital in your last few years.

there's evidence to suggest that fasting (and 7 hours is a very short amount of time not to eat) is quite good for us.

Uhm.. No there's not.

That's going to cause you to binge eat because you're so hungry, which is unhealthy. Not to mention it's going to sabotage any healthy relationship with food, because that's all you'll be thinking about since you're so hungry. Fixating on food and what you can't have is why diets fail so often.

Eating small meals throughout the day is best. If you're a boredom eater, I sometimes am, get healthy snacks to graze on. Like carrot sticks, fresh popped popcorn, apple slices. Don't abstain from food though.

Just make healthier choices. Like if you love french fries (or chips as you call them), make your own with canola oil and minimal salt instead of buying them at a drive thru. Small stuff like that.

I'm 36.

I stopped dieting, I stopped worrying about what I ate. I eat pretty healthily but I started eating butter on my toast whenever I wanted it, I eat chocolate when my period's due on, I eat cake if I'm out at a cafe.

You know what? My weight has not changed a bit in the last year. I am the same size and shape I've been most of my adult life without giving negative or positive emotions to what I eat!

Not long ago all the advice was to eat six small meals a day so that there wasn't a long gap between eating. This was supposed to keep your metabolism high. Now it's changed to fasting for seven hours or eating very few calories 2 days a week being The Way.

Why not make it a fun experiment to find out what makes YOU feel best, healthy and energetic?

I don't understand how you can physically manage a whole day of calories in one sitting, or even two, and still have space for veg - unless you have a jar of peanut butter every day or something

Mitchy Who eats a whole day of calories in one sitting?

Riverboat Eating whatever you want when you are truly hungry but stopping as soon as you are "satisfied" not full is the way I eat. It usually equates to about 5 spoons of food for me. No food is off limits because its just food. Not good, not bad. Just food. I have done this for the last 15 years. The food I eat is very nourishing and full of vitimins but if I want chocolate or cake or sweets etc then I have a little of those too.

I dunno, thought I read something about eating once or twice a day

might have been on a whole other thread though

I think some people may eat once or twice a day but I don't think they eat a whole days calories (2000) in one sitting. I think people on the fasting diets don't eat a lot in a fast day but they only have roughly 500 cals. per day .

Milli - that's great. Everyone is different - you get full quickly following that method, and are healthy doing it, but if I did it it would be very different! If I feel like eating one biscuit, I could easily eat that one and still want to keep going until I had eaten half the pack. But I stop myself after one or two or three because I know it would be ridiculous to eat more than that and I've already treated myself.

River I agree. But It would seem that we do the same thing I think. I don't wait to feel full, I stop when I feel I have had enough. So I could easily eat more but because I'm doing mindful eating, I don't.

River sorry if I have got it wrong.

It's easy to lose weight and you can eat what u like (sort of)
I'm a personal trainer, I used to be out if shape a couple years ago like a size 12 and it took me around 3 months to tone up.
I constantly drank green tea after meals
I mixed apple cider vinegar with water before meals
I ate 4 small meals a day
I went for long walks and to the gym
And sea kelp n cod liver oil is meant to help with weight lose.
I'm a size 10 now and still curvy if that makes sense.