To say 'F*ck it' and stop dieting?

[Fabatforty40]

I am 40 years old. I weigh 11 stone 7lb. I am 5ft 4 inches tall and I think i've decided to just say 'fuck it' and stop dieting.

I feel like I've been dieting my whole life, and I woke up on my 40th birthday (Monday) and just thought 'I can't be arsed anymore'.

I feel like I've fluctuated between the high 10's and the low 12's (as in stone) my entire adult life and what if this is the size and weight I'm supposed to be? It's just endlessly exhausting to beat myself up and compare myself to other people. To swing from 'I'm being good' to 'Oh i'll be bad and have a cake/take-away' and I just want to stop doing it.

My only worry is that I feel like I'm giving up in a way, like I could be a size 10 again if I really pushed myself and really tried to lose weight, but I'm not sure it would make me any happier.

WIBU to do this?

Well, YANBU, if that is what you Really want. I am going through this as well, but recently got back in the saddle and am losing weight again. I am doing Weight Watchers and I just like it because I eat what I want and just keep track of it. Not saying that I'd love More of what I eat.

I feel if I start again now, instead of in six months, I'll be six months lighter than I will six months from now! If you 'give in', especially around the holidays, things could definitely spiral out of control and then it would take ages to get back to where you even are now.

If you feel a need to stay the same, still track what you eat and do not go over what you need to stay the same! So it's still going to take restraint, you can't just say, F it and eat whatever. Staying the same size is still going to take work.

this is a fantastic TED talk - 'why dieting doesn't usually work' - this neuroscientist says it much better than I could here, those of you still sold on the idea that we should live either on or off a diet should listen

It would be far better to say 'f*ck it and stop dieting' and simply try to improve your eating habits.

Diets don't work but re-educating yourself about food does work. Try some exercise too, maybe walking.

Hi Sleep thanks for the link. That is what I am doing. Mindful eating as I know you are too. Dieting is so wrong and if we don't change our own mindsets then we pass on this disordered eating to our daughters.

I'm nearly 10 years older than you OP
I'm now happy with the way I look and feel
I am aware of what I eat
I choose to eat very little on two days of the week
and relax the other days
I've been eating like this for over two years and see no reason to ever stop
so my "diet" is a happy one
hopefully you will fine a level of eating that makes you happy and healthy as well

Everything Talkinpeace said - plus - my blood marker results. After 6 months of eating very little on two days a week, cholesterol 4.7 - HDL good 2.79 LDL bad 1.7.
After 18 months I had them done again - total cholesterol 4.2 - HDL Good 2.49 and bad 0.7. The practice nurse couldn't believe it and said it was pretty much optimum!
Waist from 31" to 28" and lots of fat gone from elsewhere. Skin clear and dewy and I'm often told I look much younger than 47. I also sleep like a log. I am rarely ill and if I do get a cold I shake it off within a couple of days.
Nobody can tell me that this is bad for my health. I'm not on a diet, I have never been on a diet in my life. The heaviest I've ever been aside from when i was pregnant is 10st 2 and I'm 5'6 - but I did have fat on my stomach and a couple of other places. I'm never going to have or want a 6 pack but I'm trim and toned. I now weigh around 9st2 but I don't look scrawny, I'm told I look very fit/healthy and to be honest I know I do. I eat whatever I want but that's because I am lucky and have never had an unhealthy relationship with food. I also still enjoy red wine at the weekends. I have worked out all my life because I enjoy it but it's this way of eating combined with exercise that has made the diffference that exercise alone just never could. I am now the size I want to be/feel happy with. Fasting is not for everyone, we are all different but please don't judge without any evidence to back up what you are saying. I have stated my evidence for the health benefits at the beginning of my post. I know loads of people who eat like this in real life and virtually online.
It's rare that people binge but if they were too then it's clearly not suitable for them. As I said, it's not for everyone. Nothing ever is.
However I will eat like this for the rest of my life.

By the way there is absolutely ZERO evidence that people in pre agricultural societies grazed all day.

The remaining pre agricultural societies spend all day working together as a team to make enough for one large meal a day.
If anybody grazed the limited food available they would be drummed out of the group.

Hunter gatherer societies eat a lot when they can but routinely go long periods without food - up to a week between protein rich meals.

Any person in a group who ate more than their fair share of what the whole group had collected by the end of the day would be, rightly, ostracised.

Unlimited availability of food is a modern, western, affluent thing.
It directly correlates with the rise in obesity and linked diseases.

Returning to a more balanced way of eating
two or maybe three meals a day, without snacks
is a no brainer for those who want to line long while remaining healthy.

The actual mix of ingredients is of course entirely up to the individual

That is your opinion Talk based upon the diet 5:2 fast that you are following. If I was to go all day, two days per week on only 500 calories it would send me into a binge and cause disordered eating. I left behind dieting many years ago because it is absolute madness. Good for you that it works though and that your way of eating makes you happy.

Love the idea that going seven hours without food is tantamount to starving. How long do you sleep at night?

But everything else in your body slows down at night too because you are sleeping. So its natural not to eat then. It's unnatural to not eat for hours when awake and active. Some peoples bodies can cope better with not eating in the day than others can.

Milli
Are you trying to say that the Ethnographic and historical evidence for long gaps between meals does not exist?

stripyhoglets
It's unnatural to not eat for hours when awake and active.
What gives you that idea?

In most of history and in most of the world today, people work all day without eating much and then eat at the end of the day, together, sharing out their hard earned food.

Snacking did not exist until the 1970s
The sooner it vanishes into history the better

People do not have to fast nowadays - even though the medical evidence in support of its health benefits is piling up

but they should be aware that grazing and snacking are the fast track to Type 2 and Type 3 diabetes as well as cardiovascular disease

Love the idea that going seven hours without food is tantamount to starving. How long do you sleep at night?

At night, the body is at rest, organs are not burdened with the need to process food, burn calories for activity etc, during this time the heart-rate is slow and . Sleep being nature's way of healing and recovery, as part of that slower pace, there is no need for fuel.

Talkin - general comments here ... the principle of "Breakfast like a King, Lunch like a Prince, Dinner like a Pauper" makes sense IMO, however I agree with you that snacking can lead to poor habits - personally, I find that leaving long gaps of many hours between meals isn't good, I'm left feeling weak due to low-sugar level. It depends on context - how active the person is, how quickly/slowly they metabolises their food. Also their medical history - eg: Some years ago, I had a suspected ulcer and I was advised by my gastroenterologist to consider not leaving long gaps between meals as there is a tendency for concentrations of Hydrochloric acid to remain in the stomach too long. But I'm not suggesting that advice can be generalised to everyone reading this

I guess these types of discussions should always come with the 'health warning' that broad-brush generalisations are not always helpful, they can only ever be ... well, "generalisations"

oops "the heart-rate is slow and stable, not up and down to cope with activity"

Some years ago, I had a suspected ulcer and I was advised by my gastroenterologist to consider not leaving long gaps between meals as there is a tendency for concentrations of Hydrochloric acid to remain in the stomach too long.
Well he was talking bilge
Ulcers are caused by Heliobactor Pylorii and cures with a swift course of antibiotics now.

Talkin, you are dogmatic aren't you.! Before you discredit other people's knowledge, please note I said a suspected ulcer. Asit happened it wasn't an ulcer and he did talk about hellobactor pylorii. He also helped me by analysing my lifestyle and diet, and gave advice about eating patterns. But in the interests of brevity I didn't go into it chapter and verse on here, but seemingly you are intent on picking apart everything like there is only one version of the truth. Tedious.

www.economist.com/news/international/21633838-new-study-offers-hope-battle-against-bulging-waistlines-heavy-weapons

I agree that constant calorie counting is bleak and can lead to bingeing. I've been on 5:2 for 2 years now. I love it because I only have to count calories for the single meal DP and I have on fast days. Otherwise I pretty much eat what I like. I'm maintaining between 9 7 and 9 11 which is fine by me. Hoping that it will turn out that long term fasting reduces risk of cancer, heart disease as has been indicated.

Also it saves money!

If you are happy with your weight then stop dieting, but it sounds to me as if you are still not sure that 11 and a half stone is right for you. Also bear in mind that the older you get, the more your metabolism slows (unless you do exercise) and the easier it is to put on even more weight.
Do you do any exercise or sport? The more muscle you have the more calories you burn. Maybe you should forget the diet, but take up sport (if you don't do already) and eat healthily. That will do your head good as well as your body and might stop your obsession with dieting.
I'm another (nearly) 2 year 5:2er, which suits me, but I understand it may not be for everyone. It is something you can get used to (the first fast is hard), but with willpower and planning it is achievable and as Coo says, the cheapest diet possible! As for feeling weak due to a low sugar level, I've never experienced this (although I have when I'm not fasting) I can do a 10 mile run on a fast day without any problems at all. Your body can adapt amazingly well.