to politely decline to use the disabled loo?

[MsIngaFewmarbles]

I was waiting in a long queue for the loo in a coffee chain and saw a lady with crutches head into the disabled toilet. She came out while I was still queueing. Another lady further back in the queue caught my eye and offered for me to go in first. I declined saying that I wasn't disabled so wasn't entitled to use it. She then countered away to her friends telling them that she was going to use it as 'it was the law' that if it wasn't being used you could use it. I couldn't face an argument so just ignored her. It's still bothering me that I should have said something to her and corrected her.

slithy I was once so desperate to go I went into the men's at our work (which has nothing 'manly' in it, it's just a loo with a picture of a man on it) and in fact didn't quite make it in time (TMI). Everyone can get caught short, but I guess that's not the case for most people using the accessible loo even if they are not disabled. I would use a disabled loo if desperate though, indeed I would use any loo if truly desperate (see above).

I think common-sense must apply- I let little children who look bursting go first, who wouldn't?

I also agree changing rooms need to be for both men and women, ludicrous to only have them in the women's loos as if men never change nappies.

oh ffs
I do wish all disabled toilets were locked and only accessible by a swipe care
that is only given to people in genuine need.
these threads are always the same.
people with rl experience post why temp non disabled people should not use them....
then someone comes on with
oh I am so special I use them

take the disability too please

Read the fucking thread Back

Also the list of people who need the toilet extremely urgently is not the same list of people who are disabled.

There will be some overlap, but there will be disabled people who could wait 1 minute while there are plenty of non-disabled people who can't.

Read a fucking book on logic and decency four

I think most people who are physically able to wait for the toilet would have sympathy for and give way to a person who asked to go next as they were desperate and at risk of having an accident - this should not need the disabled toilet (that may already be in use anyway or need a radar key).

Fanjo my weeing issues nothing to do with mobility - I said probably psychological and had it 'forever'...years, pre-giving birth etc...I get a kind of panic attack and at its worst I have lost control of my bladder.
I can't remember disabled toilets when I was young - might just not noticed - but I will ask if I can queue jump if necessary...even did when I was a (shy, easily embarrassed) teen.
( hair - don't know if it is the same problem -but you have my sympathy. I had kidney stones - had to drink 9?- a lot anyway -litres of water a day - weeing constantly...at least my waiting issues experience and the lack (almost) of embarrassment came in handy for something!)

I'm not sure Ome exists, but thank you for the suggestion.

So if there are two people wanting to go to the toilet. One is a wheelchair user and the other is able bodied. The only toilet nearby is an accessible one. The able bodied person desperately needs to go and will likely have a public and humiliating accident if they don't. The wheelchair user doesn't desperately need to go and could hold on for a few minutes.

Should the able bodied person be able to use that toilet? and should they be able to go first as their need would be arguably greater than the need of the wheelchair user? Or should the able bodied person go and try to find another toilet or let the wheelchair user go first?

If the only toilet nearby is an accessible one it will have all three signs on the door and be no different to any two people arriving at any ordinary at the same time. It's not the same situation as a toilet with disabled access and with a disabled sign on the door near but separate to other toilets.

So, if there are two people wanting to go to the toilet. One is a wheelchair user and the other is able bodied. The only toilet nearby is an accessible one. The able bodied person desperately needs to go and will likely have a public and humiliating acciden if they don't. The wheelchair user is in the same position. Who should use that lavatory?

You can't give and answer to every situation in which human beings tend to negotiate either overtly or more subtly. We could ask who should go first if one is an adult and one is a child, or if one is a man and one is a woman, if one is going to wet and one would soil but the answers would be meaningless for getting an absolute answer.

The problem with having a swipe card given to those only with genuine need is how do you ensure it is given to all those with a genuine need.

Exactly Oddboots, so surely the answer is to keep the disabled lavatory free unless you are a person with a disability.

The accessible toilets everywhere thing doesnt solve it unfortunately :(

I was at a festival in the summer and all toilets in the disabled access area were accessible (the showers too). So everyone had to use them and there was not one free if you were in a hurry (though big thumbs up to the people at said festival who would always check noone in the queue needed the next toilet more urgently than them. Metalheads are lovely).

Perhaps one would then need to be labelled "for emergency use only"?

Slightly unrelated but has anyone else noticed that a growing number of ladies' toilets have one cubicle with a door that opens outwards, a handle on the wall and extra room inside? I've seen them in a few new toilet blocks now.

There's no signs on it so I don't think it is for anyone in particular but I'd have found it useful when my children were small and I find it handy now for my mobility aids etc.

I don't know how other people in the queue would feel if I let them ahead to other cubicles because I was waiting for that larger one.

The posters that argue the loo is "accessible" are being disingenuous IMO.

Surely all accessibility means is that they are available for those with a genuine need? Not that they're accessible for everyone to pop in?

I would say though, that genuine need does include temporary conditions. For example I went to a local pub with a friend with a broken leg. Ladies loos are upstairs, accessible downstairs. So although her need was temporary in that situation it was appropriate for her to use that loo. It isn't appropriate for anyone who cannot be bothered walking upstairs to do so

Never mind disingenuous, i think they are just plain stupid. The whole reason people who are disabled point out it is an accessible loo (not a disabled loo) is because there is nothing "wrong" with the toilet itself! idiots.

I've just realised that I have literally just used a disabled loo. I do it every day because I have a baby in a buggy and we both fit into that loo.

I'm in a community building and there are actually lots of teenagers here today with sn. I didn't think twice about using the disabled loo. We've all just had lunch together. We're friends. Hmm... To be fair, I've never seen anyone else use that loo and most people here use the normal loos as they have learning difficulties and not physical.

Just thinking it through. I have to say though, lots of people see me go in and out and no one seems at all worried. In fact people hold the door for me and smile and chat (not while I'm in the loo - that'd be weird )

World - why don't you leave your baby & buggy with your friends and use the ordinary loos? Just wondering.

Also (while I'm pontificating) I have a close family member who needs to use the disabled loo.

If he was kept waiting because there was a queue of people who didn't have a specific need for that loo it wouldn't be ok. If he was kept waiting because someone was legitimately using it or because someone who wasn't disabled had nipped in it wouldn't bother me/him at all.

Wolf, the people here are running a lunch cafe. It's amazing but they're all running round being busy. And they're not close friends, just people I see each week. But I would, absolutely if someone was sitting down for a minute.

I guess my point was party that in RL noone seems to be the slightest bit annoyed which loo I use. But as I said, I've never actually seen anyone with a disability use the loo either (I'm not the loo police!) I have seen adults with no disability use it. Again, no one seems to mind. It's just a loo!

Oh, and I do understand that some people have to rush to a loo, any loo. Asap. I have a friend with crohns and she's been berated by people for using a disabled loo. It was that or poo herself. She'svery apologetic even though she should be able to use any loo. Far easier to say sorry and be thought rude than have to explain your bowel issues to stroppy strangers...

This thread is odd.

People getting ripped for calling them "disabled" loos but lots of posters thinking it's ok to "nip" in and use one.

It's not ok. Unless you have a disability. Even my primary age dc know this.

I'm not asking for an answer to every situation. I'm asking for an answer for the specific hypothetical situation I mentioned above.

And to your question dawn the wheelchair user should use that toilet. As their need to use the toilet is equal to the able bodied person and its a accessible toilet. But if that person didn't desperately need to go then I would say the able bodied person should get to use it as they do desperately need to go.