AIBU to believe that parents are NOT "supposed" to help put older children?

[bellarations]

I mean it's great "if" they can, and if the want to, but it's rather rude to assume parents "are supposed" to help out financially or otherwise once their children have reached adulthood.

[upduffedsecret]

my mother can't help me. And in the past, she wouldn't, including when I really NEEDED help and she was in a position to do so. that one's hard to forgive.

I'm afraid that as she ages I'll take the same position to her "needing" my help. What goes around comes around.


I'm 40, my eldest is 4. I'm not in good health. I suspect by the time my children are old enough to be having children I won't be in a position to childmind regularly. I would though, because I love them, if I could.

[mix56]

Are we talking about money ? Depends if you can afford it. I love helping my kids. I won't be taking it to my grave, if they inherit half will go to the state.
I'd rather help them now & see them happy, & feel the appreciation.

[WhimsicalTwattery]

I'd like to do for my DD what my parents have done for me.

My parents looked after DD 2 days a week as this helped reduce the costs of nursery fees (I worked full time).
Now I work full time term time only. This fits in with DD who is now at school so I don't ask my parents for much in the way of childcare now.
They still take DD to school 3 times a week which means I can get to work earlier, therefore build up enough flexi to leave early at least once a week to collect her from school.

They would be mortified if they thought that we were struggling so they offer help. Sometimes we need it, other times we can say 'no thanks'.

Financially they help out. I am an only child and as a result parents do spoil me, DD and DH. they have paid for the last four holidays we have been on (3 foreign, one in the UK). They insisted that they pay for them, which has saved us over £6k.

I just hope that I can do the same for DD when she is older.