To be fed up of being told to 'relax' and then I will probably get pregnant?

[Hurricaneinateacup]

Arghhhhhh.
Ttc for two years.
Several failed ivf attempts.
Considering giving up.

On finding out we are giving up lots of people have said 'oh well when you relax it'll happen.'
Er no. Dh has about 10 viable sperm, they struggled to find any to use the first cycle. I'm pretty sure it won't matter how relaxed I am.

I know they're trying to help but really, FFS. If you needed to be relaxed to get pregnant no one would ever get pregnant during ivf.

Bonkers-I was tccing for years and I got asked A LOT about having a family. And I got A LOT of insensitive comments from people who have no idea what they are talking about. I found infertility fairly soul destroying. People who conceive easily have no idea.

Op I think this thread demonstrates the problem. People have either had or know someone who has had a certain experience and hat is that for them. They mean well but can't see the frustration

I remember feeling like I was banging my head against a brick wall once with a well meaning friend. They had planned
Conception of their second child to make the school age thing more advantageous. He simply could not understand why we couldn't do the same. Suggested all kind of things and my repeated, "there is no way, either medically or via traditional methods, to predict ovulation. How am I supposed to plan." I could t get him to understand that frankly, just getting pregnant would be a bonus and if the baby was born on 30 august, so be it.

Argh.

I am truly sorry for your journey andni hope that you and your dh find a way through, whether that's an alternative or acceptance, that makes you happy.

As I asked what are they supposed to say?

There have been plenty of suggestions about what they are "supposed to say". Something like "I'm sorry you're having a hard time with it" for example. My brother who is mentally ill (schizophrenia) managed it to say something like that, whereas people who were "normal" came out with tripe like "Have you tried going on holiday?" or "Stop trying so hard and it'll happen".