AIBUs from the world of fiction

[ProudAS]

WIBU to report neighbours to social services. Their DS (11yo) is a spoilt brat quite frankly. He's been clinically obese since he was a toddler and thinks the world revolves around him.

Their DNephew (also 11yo) has lived with them since he was a toddler and his parents died. He is quite the opposite of their DS and appears malnourished. I'm getting even more concerned as I haven't seen him for several months and they say he's away at some institution for incurably criminal boys. I can't believe that such places exist and he has always seemed to be a nice boy albeit slightly strange. I've also heard that they lock him in the cupboard under the stairs and make him sleep there even though they have only the one DC and a 4 bed house.

I've a feeling they may be keeping him permanently in the cupboard or worse. Do you think I should contact SS?

[drwitch]

All mimsy I think if you were to organise some boarders (perhaps one with a connection to a ballet school?) it would set your mind at rest. Ps did you have an affair with the youngest one's mother?

[FranklyMedea]

No, YANBU, AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves but I'm a 38 year old Professor of Literature based in New England and happy to take care of any 12 year old orphanettes you may find.

[drwitch]

Frankly I am a middle aged travel writer with a problematic son - I blame myself in part for his issues, I wonder if you would take him off my hands for me ?

(witch hopes that this will get rid of any horrible images that you have created by allowing Humbert into any children's book)

[drudgewithagrudge]

RabbitsarenotHares I think that you and the musician in the village might hit it off but make sure that your parishioners don't find out.
Your daughter is probably just going through a stage and I expect she finds life on the Wales/Hereford border rather dull.

I'm sure that there are lots of paranormal problems just needing an attractive lady vicar to sort them out but be careful as your village is twinned with Midsomer. Now I must go Merrily on my way.

[sassytheFIRST]

My brother is doing my head in. He's a nervous type (thank God one of us is practical) and insists he sees visions . Now he tells me our whole family have to leave our home as he has seen an image of the area flooded with blood. We don't have anywhere to go and no reason to believe him. WWYD?

[AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves]

AIBU to think there is something very fishy about my new flatmate? He has a cocaine habit, plays the violin at all hours of the day and night (often just one note), throws daggers into the wall and seems to have frequent visits from shabbily dressed boys to whom he gives money. He appears to be very well known to the police. I am a doctor of medicine, as it happens, and it has crossed my mind that perhaps it is my public duty to have him committed.

[Bogeyface]

Allmimsy

Keep an eye on him for the moment, he might just be having a bad time. But watch out for him around waterfalls......

[reallyneedmoresleep]

AIBU to expect DS to turn up at dinner time? I've looked everywhere: under the mat, under the stairs, under the bed, even inside the piano!

[SatNavMan]

AIBU to reject this food, AIB so very rude, to reject green eggs and ham (don't delete, this is not spam!), it's green you see and that's not great, lying greenly on a plate, I won't eat it, nor would you. Green eggs and ham? Are you on glue?

[sassytheFIRST]

moresleep - try the basket.

[JadziaSnax]

Having problems at work. I do the books for the main university and my boss just yells and bellows at everyone, mainly me. WIBU to shove his pointy hat where the sun doesn't shine and eat big dinners.

I'm already on dried frog pills because of the stress at work.

[SatNavMan]

Jadzia, do you mean that place just outside Slice?

[JadziaSnax]

That's the one, on the border of Quirm.

[JadziaSnax]

He's got a new toy too, some of the students built it in the HEM building. Anthill Inside! My arse.

[drwitch]

AIBU about being a little bit cross about not getting into heaven after dying in a train crash with my two brothers and my little sister just because I'm "too interested in boys"

[SatNavMan]

Long way to go just to trash a hat

[cardamomginger]

As I awoke from uneasy dreams this morning, I found myself turned into a gigantic insect. IABU to expect a bit more sympathy and a bit less screaming from DM and DF?

[Andrewofgg]

sassytheFIRST You think you've got problems? My neighbour says there's going to be a lot of rain and he's building a ridiculous size boat in his garden - without planning permission - and turning it into a bloody menagerie. He's a crackpot. I would ring the council but the phone hasn't been invented, so I'll walk round there as soon as this shower is over.

[sassytheFIRST]

Andrew - I've seen it! We asked if we could hop on board but he would only take one of us plus a girlfriend. Has to be "breeding pairs of animals" apparently.

[Andrewofgg]

But he's taking all his three sons. Weirdo.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

Jadzia I'm a pretty fair shot with a crossbow if you need any assistance. I've got some big friends too that can always be relied upon to help and they're pretty solid, nothing much affects them.

[BreakingDad77]

AIBU to tell exDW to get a grip!

She has a personal assistant and two housekeepers! (Entitiled much?)

Is moaning about DD 12 who urinated on the carpet while she was having a party, DD has been massively playing up and messing about in her room. exDW managed to get out of hours doc to visit, saying its legion on the brain, (how much is she paying those housekeepers etc? and they cant keep an eye on DD!) as she has been vomiting in her room and speaking obscenities.

I need to talk to DW about her accessing the web! DW has just texted saying the had the vicar around and he's thrown himself out of the window.

:)

[AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves]

AIBU to cut DD3 out of my will? I've been doing some inheritance planning and decided that giving my DDs equal shares would be a bit too vanilla. So I got everybody together and asked each DD to say how much she loved me. DD3 just plain refused to do it! Just shows how wrong you can be about a person. She was always my favourite up to now too. I've cut her off without a penny, I've handed everything over to DD1 and DD2 and I'm going to spend half the year with one and half the year with the other. What could possibly go wrong?