AIBUs from the world of fiction

[ProudAS]

WIBU to report neighbours to social services. Their DS (11yo) is a spoilt brat quite frankly. He's been clinically obese since he was a toddler and thinks the world revolves around him.

Their DNephew (also 11yo) has lived with them since he was a toddler and his parents died. He is quite the opposite of their DS and appears malnourished. I'm getting even more concerned as I haven't seen him for several months and they say he's away at some institution for incurably criminal boys. I can't believe that such places exist and he has always seemed to be a nice boy albeit slightly strange. I've also heard that they lock him in the cupboard under the stairs and make him sleep there even though they have only the one DC and a 4 bed house.

I've a feeling they may be keeping him permanently in the cupboard or worse. Do you think I should contact SS?

[Cooroo]

horsehasbolted don't want to out you but I think I've read your DH's book and it is a masterpiece. Cherish him or you may lose him to a fan.

[LurcioAgain]

Well, I would say "A plague on both their houses, go for the damn capuccino", Ohwhatfuckeryisthis, but I can't because your ex bloody well stabbed me before his suicide pact. Yours from beyond the grave...

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

Lost me there Horse.
Anyway- Aibu in thinking I've had a lucky escape? I met this boy. His family are big in these parts, but there are some right psychos in there. He was a nice enough boy, bit intense, but I thought, yeah ok, not getting any younger, I'll go out with him. Well, he mopes about, sighing and draping himself artfully all over the shop, but never even kissing me never mind dtd. Next thing I hear, he's been out with his fuckwit mates crashing a party and not only fallen in love with the girl that lives there he's only fucking married her the day after!Then I hear he and this girl have died in some type of suicide pact. Bloody hell!
So, this girl was due to get married to this older rich dude, Aibu to see if he fancies a cappuccino some time?

[TheHorseHasBolted]

AIBU to be worried about my whole family? DH has been unemployed for a long time (although he is too proud, or maybe just too disorganised, to claim benefits) and my occasional freelance earnings are the only thing that has been keeping us afloat. I think DH is seriously depressed. He shuts himself up in a room all day and hardly talks to us. I think he talks to the vicar more than me and he's not even religious. DSD1 is entitled and princessy and has no intention of getting a job. She thinks she's going to marry money although she hasn't got much chance of meeting anyone here. DSD2 is not a bad kid but has no qualifications and is very dreamy and sensitive. DSS spends most of his time at sleepovers at his friend's house and I can't say I blame him, but we can't possibly have his friend back here, the place is falling apart and we don't even have enough hot water for one person to have a decent bath. And then there's the lodger, well, I say lodger but he never pays any rent, although he does help out a lot around the house and he's the only one willing to get off his arse and look for work. Sometimes it all gets on top of me and I just feel like taking all my clothes off and running around screaming.

Anyway, I get home tonight to find some sleazy guys have been hanging around the house perving on DSD2 in the bath. WWYD?

[LurcioAgain]

SGB - I think there's a good chance school will sort him out, so long as it's a suitably progressive one!

AIBU to be really pissed off with DSis? She's always been little miss perfect, butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-mouth, saving herself till marriage, looking down on me for wanting a good time (I think there's more than a little bit of slut shaming in her world view). Anyway, I was all lined up to have a bit of no-strings fun with this really loaded and seriously gorgeous bloke (bit of a devil - or perhaps just the son of one...) but she's only gone and run off to France with him in my place! Is it wrong of me to think she's a complete hypocrite? I'm worried they'll ended up killing each other - either he'll run her through with a sword, or she'll poison him with that dreadful gruel she makes.

[Shahrazad]

Then there's this chap who has been writing identical love letters to two married women - thinks he can get away with it because he has a handle to his name. I'm told they are planning some sort of come-uppance.

And all within sight of the Queen's palace, what would Her Maj think about it?

Well, Andrewofgg rumour has it* the queen not only knows of this bad behaviour, but actually wanted to see it.

*admittedly it's a rumour dating from about 1700 and probably just a legend, but hey ho as Sir John might have said.

[listsandbudgets]

A new one -

AIBU to want to stop being made to rescue the fat man who keeps falling off the wall? For goodness sake I joined the Kings Cavalry. Surely me and my horse are worth more than being used as some kind of glorified ambulance and paramedic. The man is stupid anyway - barely worth rescuing.. every time we tell him NOT to sit on the wall again but he does.

I am considering becoming a foot soldier again. At least then all that ever happened was that a mad duke kept ordering us to march up and down the hill - there were no mad fat men to rescue.

[listsandbudgets]

Gruntbaby you have it.

Really? She might marry a doctor that would be amazing dh would be very pleased.

She was an awful shock. DH didn't mention her to me until after we'd married then I came home and found her waiting for us. I didn't choose to be a step mum. I'll get dh to send her off. She may not get much education but like you say she might learn some foreign languages and she'll have a chance to travel. She'll probably be back before we know it the plans for this school sound very vague - its sure to fail. It'll give me a break though.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Our DS used to be such a wonderfully sensible, thoughtful, obedient boy. We regard ourselves as a little more... aware than our friends and neighbours, and we did think that taking our nephew and niece in for the holidays would give them the chance to be exposed to some rational parenting - and the good influence of our wonderful son.
Yet something happened one afternoon when they were all playing some kind of game together. All three of them managed to lose their shoes, ruin their clothes without even leaving the house and ever since then DS has been so hard to reason with, and keeps talking about lions and dragons and a lot of feudal nonsense. AIBU to hope that going back to school will sort him out?

[Apophenia]

I'm really worried about DD1. She's very introverted and is always in her bedroom with her nose in a book.
I've tried to encourage her to sit with the family but whenever we're all together weird things happen. Tbh, we prefer her older brother anyway.

However, she's recently started spending an awful lot of time with her teacher, even going to her little house in the woods for secret tea parties. AIBU to think the teacher shouldnt be encouraging this - anyone would think she wants to adopt her!!

[Cooroo]

Miss Elliot that sounds like a splendid idea. A young lady in possession of a large poo needs to dump it somewhere and IIRC your DB is the one who reduced your share in one glib sentence? Head for the hills, but first poo into an outdoor shop and invest in some decent rain wear for your sister.

[BelleOfTheBorstal]

My father died and due to some sort of issue, could not divide his estate between myself, my brother and my two sisters.
So my brother has inherited all and he and his wife are moving into the house and making my two sisters my mother and I, move to a tiny cottage miles away. With barely four hundred a year to survive on!
Would I be unreasonable to poo behind the drapes in their sleeping chamber before I leave?
Oh and my brother, actually my half brother, swore to my father on his death bed, that he would take care of us.
And his smelly son keeps riding my pony!

[umbongoumbongo]

AIBU to want a divorce? My husband suffers from PTSD and has a drinking problem. We had all the money ready to pay the rent on our farm and then the stupid bugger went and spent it all on some spindly legged horse because he got into a drunken bidding war with our landlord. As if it isn't hard enough to make ends meet as it is. I am fuming and now he has pissed off DS as sold the horse to some army bloke and DS is heartbroken. Should I LTB?

[RosaliesGinBottle]

feckitall, I wouldn't worry too much about your kids on the Lakes: if not duffers, won't drown.

[SolidGoldBrass]

[Cooroo]

Ohwhatfuckery: Madame, that's life. Suck it up or things could end badly and painfully.

[feckitall]

AIBU to not worry about DB15? He was living with us while DF is away at sea. Our mother died when he was a baby. He was nothing but a PITA, making my house untidy, bunking school and petty theft. He was sent to a reform school for knocking over an old lady and steeling her bag. The police have been round, he has escaped and was found hiding in a barn so got recaptured, the police car transporting him stopped to help a RTA during a storm and he escaped again.
Now I've just heard that a Cheetah has escaped from a nearby wildlife park. What are the chances of him and the cheetahs paths crossing in rural England?
DH thinks we should push the police to try harder to find him, he has also got it into his head that DN is innocent. AIBU to think he is naïve and the boy is nothing but trouble and he will reappear when his dad is due back from sea. unless the cheetah eats him

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

I'm bored, bored, bored. And sick of being (comparatively)poor. And having bloody kids.And my boring fucking husband. And the country. (And getting old and losing my looks, but that won't happen for ages) IANBU to trade up. It is my right after all, non?

[JadziaSnax]

Thank you MsDearhart, I'll be sure to make a donation to the Trust.

[Andrewofgg]

Then there's this chap who has been writing identical love letters to two married women - thinks he can get away with it because he has a handle to his name. I'm told they are planning some sort of come-uppance.

And all within sight of the Queen's palace, what would Her Maj think about it?

[FoxgloveFairy]

Well, someone mentioned my little part of the world, Misomer. My poor great uncle who died! It was terrible. We hoped we could believe it was natural causes, but the nice moderately obese, middle aged detective said that because of the gargoyle where his head should be, he had to consider suspicious circumstances. Still, country life is lovely. There's a local fruit based festival held in May in one,of the smaller villages nearby. Part of it is that the men of these villages put deer horns on their heads and wander the,hills looking to rape young women. So charming! Last year, a few people got murdered though, but no more than usual.

[Gruntbaby]

Listsandbudgets
If you've got the money, why not. Some on MN will disagree but I say, if you don't get on with your step-children, send 'em away.

The advantages are enormous - she won't be able to come home for holidays, she'll probably become trilingual, and if she's really lucky she might marry a doctor, and that's all one could hope for really. You might want to pack an emergency flare and one of those space blankets though - so easy to lose one's way in the alps...

[myrtleWilson]

Well, I hope someone can help me. I left my DD babysitting her younger brother and now I've returned to hear some nonsense about a ruler of all the goblins who made the (poor precious) baby dance. Aibu to say we do not peak of voodoo/who do in this house?

[Pollaidh]

AIBU to be wary of this woman? I'm about to marry a lovely young man but it now turns out his ex will be living next door to us. It turns out she used to be engaged to my fiance but she was paralysed in some accident and refused to marry him. She's talking about being part of our family and how we must call our first born after her. While I feel sorry for her I'm getting a bit freaked out to be honest.

[FranklyMedea]

Mimsy and MotherBluestocking Just don't ask him to bend his rigid bow. After 10 years away.......