To not want my Grandchild to hunt?

[salsmum]

I am very much into animal rescue and hate to see cruelty against humans AND animals. DIL is pregnant with my 1st Grandchild which I'm obviously very excited about, I texted her today to ask how she was and how DS and 'bump' are and she said she was fine...etc.. and then excited tells me that her Nephew aged just a month into his 8th year is going out on his first hunt . Her family are country people and my DS will be moving to the country once GC comes along. I really hate the thought of any child going hunting especially my GC because I think it's not something a child should see nor be encouraged to take part in. My DIL knows my feelings on animal cruelty and feel upset that she should mention 'the hunt' to me (in an excited-so proud of DN way).

Sorry (ed) not (ex)

MiddletonPink Sun 16-Nov-14 13:50:03

Choose your battles OP.

This isn't one of them.

It's her and your sons baby and if they choose to hunt you can silently disagree with it but nothing can stop them.

I am bemused by the number of posters telling Salsmum she must keep silent about her views. Is this really the way your families work, not daring to offer even the slightest criticism to relatives doing controversial things?

I'm country through and through, come from a farming family blah blah, and spent my youth tip-toeing round grandparents who hunted and were extremely pro-bloodsports (not just doing it, the whole house was decorated with dead things, paintings of hunting, meet cards on the mantelpiece etc).

In my spare time I went on anti-hunting protests, wrote letters and joined the League Against Cruel Sports, but never talked about my feelings for fear of upsetting (more like 'getting into trouble with') gparents. On about three occasions I managed a mild comment like "I don't like the sound of that" when they talked about something particularly grisly. I always felt this was wrong, and that it should have been possible for me to express my disagreements with them.

OP, you hold a majority view on a controversial activity. It's not some niche weird opinion to hold. I am that your DIL knows how you feel yet expects you to be excited that her nephew's gone hunting. You would be totally right to express your opinions if/when the time comes that your own grandchild gets taken out on a hunt. It's not some neutral, drama-free activity like surfing or tiddlywinks is it?!

Of course "nothing can stop them" if they insist on taking your gc out hunting, but you have the right to express (diplomatically) your moral disapproval of animal cruelty. I'm surprised to see so many people saying you shouldn't.

Because it is winning, which is probably one of the reasons I never had any interest in fox hunting in the UK.

Too unbalanced.

Getting within 20 foot of a feral pig that weighs twice as much as you do and bringing it down and eating it is excellent.

Much more fulfilling than buying a pork roast.

Oh yes,I agree, Dowding that the ops opinion should be made known,and I believe it should be made known to the parents and the gc.

Dowding Thank you for your post I agree 100% while I appreciate that I will not interfere with my DS and DIL parenting skills it still would make me feel very upset if my GC was encouraged to hunt. My DS didn't even have guns when growing up because I felt there were plenty more toys he could play with. Out of respect for my DIL I would not be a 'don't do it this way' GM....but feel that it was somewhat provocative of her to mention DN hunting knowing how I'd feel about it. They will be moving to a VERY small country village where there will be pressure for my DS to 'conform' to country ways. It would sadden me deeply to have any young family member witness an animal killed for fun/excitement/exercise for the horse/social pressure...erc..etc.. If you are on a drag chase with hounds how do you prevent any other animals being hunted and killed in error if they just happen to cross the hounds path? My DS and DIL are both horse riders and would be proud if my DG rode but without having to be excited about killing. Of course my worries are premature and I really am looking forward to my first GC and will support my DS and DIL as much as I can. I was just a little shocked that DIL felt the need to mention this to me especially as I've only met her DN once.

www.yousignanimals.org/Oppose-the-Idaho-derby-Children-as-young-as-10-will-be-invited-to-hunt-for-cash-and-prizes-t-615

Ok, you Are intending to try and stop shooting in idaho? Good luck with that! If you wanted to suck people in for a ridiculous petion signing why didn't you post it in your op?

I am not surprised that someone who enjoys hunting also enjoys rubbing your face in it.

As a vegetarian (almost vegan) living in the country, I have met plenty of people who do this. I have not found that horsey hunter-y types are the most sensitive, tactful, considerate people on the planet.

If I were you, I would also be upset by your DIL. Teaching children that killing is fun is very ugly (and yes I am aware that many children pick this up easily).

I am strongly on the side of teaching kids to consider the other creature's feelings, whether that is the fly you are about to pull the wings off of or the fat girl you are about to exclude from your almost whole class birthday party.

I think Dowding is spot on. You won't be able to change your DIL's views, but neither should you keep schtumm. You can express your own view politely without having an argument about it.

Don't take things so personally, OP.

if you expect your DIL to tiptoe around your sensibilities while discussing or just chatting about her family news, you really are on a course to be a nightmare MIL.

Am slightly dubious about the idea that the fox is a pest that needs to be controlled. Foxes are predators that eat smaller animals that many would regard as pests (mice, voles etc). So you get rid of the foxes and you create another problem.

I read the petition as being very much opposed to the participation of children TooMuch.

I went to Seaworld as a child -something I now regret.

Had someone like the op explained to me as a child why I shouldn't go,my choice would be different.

For something as contentious as hunting,I think a childs consent in participation should be informed consent.

OP it's none of your business, and frankly, it sounds as though you don't think much of your DiL. I'm feeling a bit sorry for her ...

And, having been brought up in the country, with many farmers around, I find those who call this "country ways" to be pretty ignorant of farming and how our food gets to our tables. Unless you eschew all animal products (including leather, eggs & dairy), I think you need to be far more knowledgeable & accepting of what you call 'country ways.'

Most farming people are far more matter-of-fact about animals and death, and far more compassionate, than townies who say they are all for "animal rights."

Most farming people are far more matter-of-fact about animals and death, and far more compassionate, than townies who say they are all for "animal rights

Yet again the truly arrogant assumption that anyone who objects to hunting is a townie

For your information it is hunters who bang on about 'country ways' and how hunting is part of 'country ways'

Most farming people are far more matter-of-fact about animals and death

This is not about animals and death though is it. It is the objection to those involved in the hunting and killing of our native wildlife for fun, sport, a thrill and a great big social.

Given that you were talking about yesterday (Sunday) I would then assume that your daughter in law was talking about a bloodhound pack. Do some googling or look at your local bloodhound packs website. Educate yourself a bit before going off on one worrying about something that may never even happen. I went 'hunting' last Sunday with our local bloodhound pack. Then men voluntarily being chased by these beautiful big (fantastically well trained) hounds didn't look too bothered, they actually looked to be having a great time! If my mother in law brought up anything like this with me especially without doing their homework first it would be a pretty good way to limit their time and involvement with my children. You should look into the different types of packs and the law first before you just sound like a wolly of a grandmother and that this will be the first of many things you will have issues with. If its a bloodhound pack why dont you go along to a meet soon and see for yourself what goes on. Ask questions whatever. That way you will not be supporting a foxhound pack. I respect people views and opinions but not so much when you haven't actually taken the time to look into it. I have been out with several different types of hunts within the last 10+ years and all the children that I have encountered have been so mature and sensible with beautiful manners. Something learnt on the hunt field with the etiquette and traditions involved. If you are concerned about this now then it will probably feel quite small once the baby is here and you then worry about...how your daughter in law chooses to feed baby, bed routines, toys they chose to use/not use.

That, the petition is whatever I'm not bothered. What annoys me is the spam style signature grabbing.

Someone anti hunting tell me why they would support the ban on fox hunting with hounds but not fishing. Why do foxes rather than fish need protecting? Is it the fur which makes the difference?

If you are on a drag chase with hounds how do you prevent any other animals being hunted and killed in error if they just happen to cross the hounds path?

It is pretty sill to condemn something so vehemently you know so little about, and haven't bothered to find out about, despite claiming to be an animal lover.

Hounds have to be the most drilled, ordered, controlled, trained dogs out there. How do you think people out walking their pet dogs usually stop them from chasing and killing animals? And then compare that to professionals who spend all year specifically training dogs to be controlled. Do you think people should be banned from walking their dogs in the countryside just in case one of them might catch and kill a rabbit or something?

How on earth is that animal welfare? You do realise that animals die in the countryside, and in town, all the time? That they are not immortal and that its part of the circle of life? Have you ever bothered to consider how the slaughter industry in this country works?

As for the moving to the small village where they will be expected to conform bit. I mean, seriously, you seem to be living in the Georgian era or something and think they are moving as servants to an estate where their lives will be controlled by the local squire.

You don't actually sound as though you live in the real world, or have much varied experience of it OP, and to me this sounds as if it influences your views on so-called animal welfare, as opposed to a genuine concern for it.

OP, is signing petitions what you term "animal rescue"? Isn't that a bit dishonest?

I'm already rather dubious about people who claim to be animal rescuers, as theres just so many examples of ignorance leading to greater cruelty when people who don't know how to look after animals properly, or keep too many on unsuitable land have done it. And then theres other people who buy rehome animals, get on with training them and giving them useful lives and don't make a self obsessed song and dance about being supposed "animal rescuers", who I would generally give more credit to (proper ethical genuine animal rescues excepted).

But signing petitions and being all supercilious to your DIL is a long way from actually doing something useful.

If your GS is going to eat meat then he should understand how life/death works. People in the country generally have far greater respect for animals than townies who teach their children that chickens are wrapped in plastic and live in the freezer.

Just to answer all the people who ask: "Why don't you haters of hunting object to fishing?"-

I became a vegetarian when I was 13 after watching someone fishing, realising how cruel it was and deciding I wanted no part of it. Of course I was a naive and idealistic child and my reasons for being vegetarian/vegan have evolved, but I haven't eaten any animals for 35 years.

Not everyone who thinks foxes are furry and shouldn't be mauled, is busy eating factory farmed chicken and encouraging their kids to go fishing with Grandpa.

I wouldn't waste too much energy getting upset over the prospect of your unborn gc going hunting right now. When and if the time comes there's nothing wrong with expressing your opinions about hunting but at the end of the day, it'll be down to your DS and DIL whether they take your views into account. It may well be that your gc shows no interest in hunting either. Not everyone who lives in a rural area goes hunting.

I take issue with "Hounds have to be the most drilled,ordered,controlled,trained dogs out there".

Twice I had to chase the pack out of my garden while they ignored huntspeople and continued to run riot.
Not that the huntspeople tried that hard to control them...

Many times there were hounds milling around with not a huntsperson in sight,running across roads,through traffic....

Well, hounds probably are well-drilled compared to the pet cats that kill an estimated 275 million wild birds and animals in the UK each year (according to the RSPB).