To not want to plan Christmas around a dog?

[Nativity3]

We don't have a dog so maybe this is normal and IABU but I would like to know as it's annoying me!

The in-laws have a dog. He is like their child and they talk about him on the phone like I talk about my dc.

We live about 2 hours apart and always meet up over Christmas. We always end up going to them and meeting at a pub as they can't leave the dog for a day to come to us. I've always accepted this but do find the drive hard as it often takes longer than 2 hours in traffic and when you suffer with IBS this can be a nightmare especially with not many toilet stops on the M25.

This year I suggested they come to us or we meet half way at a restaurant and have a lunchtime meal. We could still see each other but takes the pressure off us a bit.

They've said a flat out no and that it's either a pub/restaurant near them again or they can't see us.

AIBU to want them to make a bit of effort and come and see us for a change?

[KatoPotato]

MN dog discussions are a whole new world to me. I remember one a few years ago about a man who died jumped into a frozen river after his daft dog jumped in. The thread was rammed with posters saying they'd let other people's children drown before they tried to rescue their dog? Even though someone linked to an article about how dogs would survive a frozen river and swim to safety themselves. That was a frightening thread to read.

[SistersOfPercy]

I'm a bad owner aren't i? He's never been to the land of his father's.

[Bulbasaur]

KatoPotato Yes, there are some people that have serious MH problems are rather fanatical about their pets. It's not just dogs. I saw a thread where people were flipping their shit because a poster wanted to get rid of her boyfriend's cats because they were pissing all over the house, because she was having a baby. I was disgusted with how many "You knew you had the cats before you got pregnant" comments she was getting. Like a cat (or any animal) was more important than a baby.

If you would save your dog before a stranger's child, you're either lying or a sociopath.

I can't stand people that think their dogs are their children. They're not. They're animals. They are lovely companions, but at the end of the day, their dog ranks lower than even the scummiest human, whether they like it or not.

[Bulbasaur]

SistersOfPercy

OMG!! That dog is so cute I can't even!! melt

[SistersOfPercy]

That's his 'what? I'm on the crate it's near enough' look. Like butter wouldn't melt. He's a git is Murphy but he is the boss here.

[KatoPotato]

Murphy looks acers!

[Custardo]

They are clearly the maddest mad people that ever lived. Fuck them off, they just don't lol you really

[Morloth]

I was around for that thread Kato. I think it is a sort of Darwinism to jump into a frozen river for a pet.

But once again I have no objection as long as no one wants me to do so.

When we had to leave our house for a bit last year due to the bushfire I had plenty of warning and time to grab my cat and take her with me. If I had had to evacuate quickly and she wasn't super quick to grab? Then sorry she is on her own.

Hell would freeze over before I risked my life (or most human life) for any animal.

[GlitterySparkleChops]

kato Really..... "lower than even the scummiest human"??

cough assistance dogs.

[MiddletonPink]

There are some people in the world that would jump in a river and save the dog before a human.

And there are people that buy a dog as a pet and just do right by it by not leaving it 8 hours so they can fuck off for the day.

I believe there is a huge back story to this thread. One that has been omitted.

I would guess the OP is as annoying to her in laws as they are to her.

[MiddletonPink]

I'm curious to what the OP does at any other time of the year with regarding seeing her in laws?

What's the set up then?

[Andrewofgg]

GlitterySparkleChops Assistance dogs are not pets.

Even then I would have issues with anyone who would rescue an assistance dog before any human being.

About fifty years ago there was a fire in one of HM Prisons. There was a row because some of the dogs were left to burn while all the prisoners were safely evacuated. If MN had been running then I can imagine what some of the usual suspects would have said about it.

[MiddletonPink]

Andrew the other thread mentioned included comments regarding people saving dogs before murderers.

One poster said she would save her horse before her children.

Now in the made up scenario of saving my dog above a paedophile I would choose my dog. Call that fucked up I don't care.
But I can't comprehend saving my dog before my children or anyone else's.

[Andrewofgg]

MiddletonPink We are not thinking of the same thread - this must be something of an old favourite.

It's quite likely that some of the guests of the taxpayer at that prison were sex offenders, but the Prison Service were still right to get them out instead of the dogs.

[Morloth]

Yeah right to evacuate people before dogs.

There are a few people I would be happy to push into a frozen river though.

[MiddletonPink]

In your opinion Andrew

[CruCru]

Going back to people working and having dogs, there are a few places that let you bring your dog with you (Google, Saatchi and Saatchi).

However, why don't you just leave it for this year? If they don't want to meet halfway then that's their lookout.

[KatieKaye]

I think I have the solution:

"MIL - we have a special surprise for the dog. Yes, here at our house. He's going to be so excited to see and we can't wait to see how his little face lights up! Now, we don't want to spoil the surprise for him - but, oh! You are going to be so thrilled when you see his reaction. So, when would he like to come to us?"

on the grounds of "if you can't beat 'em, change the game"

(the special surprise could be a doggy treasure hunt in the garden - doggy treats laid out in a circle with a bone at the end. Tied up in a ribbon of course. Maybe make a wee sign saying "Rover's Xmas Trail. Cost less than £2)

[Boysclothes]

100% your ILs are MNers. Not wanting to leave dog at all because MN says it's cruel. Not asking you if dog can come to yours because that's rude and entitled. They'll probably be thrilled of you say dog can come to yours and all problems solved.

MIL has two lovely little Lhasa Apsos but they are totally untrained in any basic doggie manners. It's a nightmare when she does childcare because they have to come with and stay overnight even though her partner could come home at lunch and let them out. They are two little appendages and they don't even really go for dinner any more. I love dogs but most are fine to be left for four hours, which her partner will not allow her to do. Pain in backside but they are a commitment she's made and if we want to see her (which we do, cos we love her) then we have to accept she comes with two dogs attached. Just like we have a toddler attached.

[KatieKaye]

Btw - Bobby is not stuffed, nor is he in Edinburgh Castle.
Greyfriar's Bobby is a statue on George IV Bridge.

I do have a picture of me and my westie visiting Bobby, but that would out me!

[bakingtins]

I don't think this has anything to do with the dog. You have offered a number of dog friendly solutions which are not acceptable to them. Don't go.

We have a dog (and children) She's not a surrogate child, she's a dog. Her needs include not being left alone for long periods, there are any number of solutions that allow us to travel and see people - they visit us, we take the dog, we limit the length of our trip out, we use a dog sitter/doggy daycare.
They just don't want to be the ones making any effort.

[musicalendorphins2]

Having IBS and traveling is a painful ordeal. My mom has it, and you have to plan around it.
I think there is no reason that they can't come have it with you and bring their dog. Make cook some mini meat loafs in mini cupcake tins for treats, and a dog sweater or pillow, and rope toys. Hang it a stocking even. (we have always do for our pets)
I have taken my sleeping meds so please excuse me if I am repeating other posters.

[ZorbaTheHoarder]

I think I am beginning to see the real picture here.

The dog has made it clear that he never wanted to go to Scotland in the first place! His heart had been set on Cornwall for ages. He made his feelings clear on the ill-fated trip north of the border, and your PILs are now - perhaps understandably - reluctant to get him into the car again.

I think that the only way to make everyone happy is for you to meet them for a nice pub lunch in Cornwall (is that anywhere near you)?

In all seriousness, I don't see why you should have to feel physically uncomfortable on a journey to see people who are not willing to make any compromise. The fact that your PIL was so inhospitable when you dropped by would make me even less bothered about seeing them...

[ZeViteVitchofCwismas]

SistersOfPercy Sun 16-Nov-14 00:12:12

[Edin55]

Unlimited sympathy. I have also been on M25 with overflowing bladder and no way of getting to a toilet. When we arrived at my uncle's.house, he had to stop directing my father's car to show me where the toilet was(my father was NOT happy). But my family had dogs for years and somehow managed to make arrangements for them. Now my mother doesn't have a dog anymore she does feel more freedom, but still......serious and responsible owners can always find practical solutions like kennels or just owning a car big enough to transport the pooch. Are the really telling you they can't do that?