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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's a bit weird to go clubbing with your daughter?

111 replies

CruCru · 12/11/2014 08:02

A woman I went to school with has put a comment on FB that she is planning to take her daughter clubbing for the first time "to show her the moves". AIBU to think this is a bit weird? I would have refused to go clubbing with my mum.

OP posts:
Notso · 12/11/2014 11:00

Clubs are for showing off, pulling and for dancing and drinking. Not really things parents need to do alongside their offspring.

I sort of understand the first two but dancing and drinking. Why on earth can't I dance and drink with my children or my parents?

NorbertDentressangle · 12/11/2014 11:02

Shock KeepAbreast and Eminy.

This not something I can ever imagine doing (either as a mother or as a daughter)!

SaucyJackOLantern · 12/11/2014 11:04

I think it's cute depending on the place.

If it's one of those cheesy hen night-type places that's all alcopops and Whigfield then there's always a mixture of ages anyway so I doubt anyone would bat an eyelid. No one wants to be snorting ketamine and dancing to dubstep with their mum sat next to them tho.

MillionPramMiles · 12/11/2014 11:06

OK my dd is only 2 but I can't imagine ever getting blind drunk/flirting inappropriately in front of her. Neither would I want her to do that in front of me. Dancing together is fine at home in front of Strictly, not in a club.

I'm her mum, not her best friend/drinking buddy and that's fine. I've a different role to play.

flipchart · 12/11/2014 11:07

It's quite a common thing where I live. ( seen lots of FB pictures to prove it!)

Messingaboutinboats · 12/11/2014 11:14

I think it's a little wierd, especially for her first time clubbing, that's the sort of thing you do with your peers.

Stalequavers · 12/11/2014 11:18

Oh god no!

I went with my mother and it was cringe!

I would not want to go with dd - and she would rather stick pins in her eyes than go with me!

RightyTightyLeftyLoosey · 12/11/2014 11:24

I used to go pubbing/ clubbing with my mum all the time. The only reason we don't now is because since DS, the rare night out I do go on she is the babysitter!

We have similar taste in music, and our idea of a good time is the same so why not?

We have gone to raves, festivals, gigs and lots of different clubs. We even took mum to meet our friends in Berlin because we knew she'd love the punk scene there.

I don't see a problem, she has never tried to act younger or muscle in on my good time. After years of me being a shit teenager I really enjoy hanging out with her on an adult level. Smile

DisgruntledAardvark · 12/11/2014 11:49

I agree, think it depends on the club - if it's something more specialised (for want of a better word) - like a punk/salsa/thrash polka club, I wouldn't think it was weird. If it was a standard tacky club night where the aim was to pull/vomit in a gutter and break your shoes, I'd think Hmm

ChillySundays · 12/11/2014 12:08

My DD says 'you are my mum not my friend. I love you but going clubbing is wrong' We go out for a meal or shopping and she loves me

BitchesGetStuffDone · 12/11/2014 12:30

When I was 19 my mum was 35, we were (and still are) very close so I have been clubbing with her quite a few times. It's always a lot of fun, we have a couple of cocktails, dance and just have a good time. No pulling, no vomiting, no drinking until we blackout etc.

It's not really our scene anymore but if we are at the pub or wine bar with mutual friends and no one wants to go home then we will all head to the local 80's themed nightclub. It's fun. One time we took my grandmother, she was 71 at the time and loved her night out with "her girls".

Babiecakes11 · 12/11/2014 12:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CatsCantTwerk · 12/11/2014 12:55

I am 33, my ds is 18 in April, He has asked me to take him clubbing for his birthday. I do not think that is weird at all.

Sallystyle · 12/11/2014 12:55

Because some people actually enjoy the music and dancing! It's not all drink till your sick and go home with some random bloke you know.

Well obviously, but clubs here are meet markets. I remember last time I went some man tried to put his hand up my skirt and I noticed a couple shagging on the couch.. she was sitting on him and it was very obvious.

As much as I like music and dancing I wouldn't do it at a nightclub where in my experience it is full of shit like above. I guess it depends on what the clubs are like in your area, but no, I can't understand why an older person would want to be in an environment like that. I like going to pubs where they have bands on to dance, but the nightclub environment here is pretty shocking.

Mrsjayy · 12/11/2014 12:59

I think it is the cool mum thing that bothers me more it is not cool its cringey chily your daugter is spot on

AdamLambsbreath · 12/11/2014 13:07

When I was 15 my best mate's mum (40-something, and a friend of my mum's) took us out to a club. At the time I thought it was amazing, but I look back now and think that actually it was really fucking weird. She got us in underage, and we were allowed to buy drinks plus we were dressed up to the nines in sexy outfits.

That's underage clubbing though - a bit different to an 18+ year-old going out with their mum. Personally at 18 I would rather have cut my own arm off than go clubbing with my mum, but then she would have loathed it too. Probably depends on the relationship.

Boysandme · 12/11/2014 13:10

I think it is the cool mum thing that bothers me more it is not cool its cringey chily your daugter is spot on

Exactly. I know someone who recently took her daughter for Amsterdam for the weekend to celebrate her 18th and took her to various cafes and smoked pot with her. Shock

I'll be honest my immediate reaction is mid life crisis, trying to be cool. In this case it was a 50yo newly single mum. I genuinely find it quite pitiful to be honest.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/11/2014 13:18

Lots of the Mums doing this seem pretty young. Sadly they probably spent their own late teens up to their elbows in nappies.

I have done more than my fair share of clubbing, I don't feel the need to prove my "cool" credentials to anyone. (And yes, as someone said up thread, my kids would be in some sweaty dubstep club, though hopefully without the ketamine).

FreudiansSlipper · 12/11/2014 13:25

not sure I would call it weird just not giving your child space to grow up themselves. my mum always liked to hang around with my friends when she got the change, sometimes it was ok and they thought she was cool I felt suffocated at times, she never came clubbing with us but no doubt she would have had she been asked

I get a celebration and you might go to club but otherwise er no something I shall never be doing

MyBaby1day · 12/11/2014 13:42

Yes, a bit weird and sad tbh. Me and my Mum are close and shopping days and things are cool, but something about clubbing. It's like the Mum is trying too hard to be a teenager again!!.

SistersOfPercy · 12/11/2014 13:42

I don't go clubbing because thats not my thing, but DS and I very often go to gigs together. I was 19 when he was born, he's 21 now but we have much in common and the same music tastes so we'll very often head into manchester to see a band. He looks a fair bit older than 21 and I look a fair bit younger than 41 (yay for stealth boasts) so we've often been confused for partners rather than Mother and Son.

I don't see why I shouldn't got out and see a band I love with my DS, just because I hit 40 I'm not going to suddenly turn into a recluse. This is me, this has always been me, I've not changed.

Mehitabel6 · 12/11/2014 13:50

Even if you are a young mum you seem ancient to a teenager!

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 12/11/2014 13:52

Taking my DD to our local club in our small provincial town...I would be the oldest person there and a total laughing stock. It would be totally unsuitable.

Taking her to some places in London however, NO!!!

I know of several Mums who have gone out to clubs etc with their DC and all had a great time!

aquashiv · 12/11/2014 13:53

No weird just different.

minkymuskyslyoldstoaty · 12/11/2014 13:54

i don't think it's weird at all.

everyone is different. why not.

the generation gap is getting smaller, most of my dd's friends parents are late 30's early 40's and we are all pretty groovy!

I go to gigs with my dd. I wouldn't force myself on her or her friends, but if she was up for me going along then why not.