to dread Christmas and wish it Wasn't on it's way

[baaahhumbug]

The expense.
The forced 3 day lock-down
Enforced jollity
Crowds everywhere
The huge Expense
Being ripped off.
Family fall outs.
Hideous Xmas music blaring out in all the shops.
All the tat that is bought.

I know I should like it but I don't.
Any other Bahhumbugs out there?

expense and rip-off are voluntary. Just say no.

These are the things I hate about it too. Though I've stopped seeing relatives at Christmas and just said I'm not up for it any more and that helps. But I do find it oppressive the way it's just COMING like a juggernaut and you can either endure it or somehow run away from it all, but as everyone else is doing it, that would be weird and lonely.

The things I do like are the nice food and things being lit up in the dark and feeling cosy. I like making it fun for the DC, but try not to let that have to mean ridiculous amounts of tat.

But it is a ridiculous amount of pressure, expense, stress and exhaustion. It would be great if it could have a year off sometimes, like Glastonbury.

If you don't like it, change it. Can't really have a lot of sympathy for you, to be honest, complaining about things that you could change but don't.

I find christmas tough as my only parent died suddenly at christmas a good few years ago. But I make the best of it and enjoy it in my own way, because I arrange things the way I want them to be, as far as possible.

I hated it for years!

Last year I decided that I would do most of my shopping on our high street (we do have some lovely little shops though), I wasn't going to drink too much and I would start a new Christmas tradition, to reclaim the joy.
We got a big chicken, so the meal wouldn't take years to prepare and cook (it cost half the price too!). I stuck it in after breakfast and we all went for a walk up a local fell with a flask of coffee, some Christmas cake, friends and dogs.
We opened a few presents first thing, then the rest after lunch.
It was the nicest Christmas Day I've had during my adult life.
The kids enjoyed it more too. They've already asked if we can do the big walk again this year.

punygod I done that so what we did was bring our whole Christmas Day forward a few days even the Christmas dinner. One tip though stay off fb xmas day.

I miss the domestic run up to Christmas. I used to like the tree decorating and putting up wall decorations. I used to like having the string of lights around the porch. I used to like the food shopping before the festive days. I used to like cooking the dinner on Christmas Day and I liked making the stuffing the way my father did. I used to like making mince pies from scratch. I used to like the opening of presents and seeing the delight on the children's faces. I used to like watching the morning television programmes when (a) children's hospital wards were visited and Santa Claus came in with a sack of presents and (b) when service personnel abroad were shewn sending messages home to their families and a favourite piece of music was played. I used to like it when traditional Christmas carols were broadcast on the radio or TV so we could all join in.

Just be glad that you all still have those times. One day you will be in the same position.

I just don't get all the bloody fuss. I suppose if you have family far away that you look forward to seeing at Xmas then it's must be more exciting.

I'm not looking forward to it this year for the first time. DH fallen out with my parents so that's creating al kinds of problems. We usually go to my mum and dad but obviously that won't be happening. I can't leave my husband on his own on Xmas day so DS and I will go to them on Boxing Day

HappyAgain, what happened to stop all that for you?

Don't answer if that's too personal a question.

Love xmas but why oh why do the ads start in early November?

Thanks Ignoreme. We're having our Xmas day on Boxing Day

punygod that's tough but what nice kids you have. Is there any way you could go too or not!

We are being radical this Christmas and not having a sit down meal with relatives.

This year me, dh and kids opening presents and having champagne breakfast and fry up.

Then to pub for a few, disclaimer youngest 15 so will let her have a cider and one prosecco.

Back home to board games, charades, huge supper, tv, wine and 4 rels coming later.

As for presents we just buy for our kids and parents. No one else now by mutual consent.

Seize control op. You have the right to enjoy.

We thought we had lost our dd 3 once but we didn't.

MAkes you realise life is short and must be lived for fun.

I hate Xmas too. Too much stress from fucked-up family dynamics.

I choose to work to escape it. I would go on holiday far far away if I wasn't working.

I would prefer christmas didn't happen this year. I would like to go to bed and wake up in January.
The effort of pretending to be happy is all too much.

What would be great, would be if everybody stayed in their own houses for Christmas lunch!
If I could have Christmas lunch on our own I would enjoy it so much more.
But no, there has to be this great big bloody GetToGether every sodding year.
And that's where the fun trouble always starts.
Arguments happen, snide remarks are made at whose hosting skills are the best.

And that's where the fun trouble always starts.

No, thebody, not really.

You're right, though , they are nice. That gives me comfort.

They'll be back with me by 5pm - Christmas starts then!

I work.. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. New Year's Eve, New Year's Day etc etc. it kinda puts a downer on things.

However many would say, I chose to be in this profession, the catering industry, i have made my bed now I have to lie in it! It would be nice to have some time off however, Christmas is the busiest time of year

you can stay in your home if you like. Not all of us want to. But you agree to go somewhere else, you don't have to, no-one can force you.
Why go to somewhere you don't want to be to spend time with people you clearly dislike? You are a grown up.

grocklebox Tue 11-Nov-14 19:29:35

If you don't like it, change it. Can't really have a lot of sympathy for you, to be honest, complaining about things that you could change but don't.

I find christmas tough as my only parent died suddenly at christmas a good few years ago. But I make the best of it and enjoy it in my own way, because I arrange things the way I want them to be, as far as possible.

Very true.
Its all a state of mind, christmas is a feeling....we get these threads every year people being forced to go where they dont want, give to people they dislike..no wonder all dreading it.

grocklebox, two of the biggest shitstirrers in the family live on their own, so there is this understanding that whoevers turn it is to do Christmas dinner, has to invite them, otherwise they will be lonely at Christmas and nobody should be alone at Christmas

Agree with grockle again, nothing stopping you doing anything. Blame yourself not xmas.

YABU. Look around, lots of people are planning skint quiet Christmases that will be fun and that they will enjoy. Think of your idea of fun then tailor your Christmas to that. Don't be a martyr, stand up to your family.

It isn't that everyone has to love it, but I think you are going in with the wrong attitude. I knew someone whose son died in a car crash on Christmas eve. She was not BU to dread it.

I'm usually a huge Christmas obsessive lover but this year I'm not yet feeling it . I'm growing resentful of the cost, how ripped off I feel by things I'm buying now for a certain amount that by Boxing Day will be half that price mainly. And I'm kind of hiding away pretending it isn't really soon tbh, I'm dreading all of the stress I put myself through to get everything done and 'perfect'...

I buy everything online so the crowds don't affect me and there isn't really a three day lockdown is there, a lot of places only close Christmas Day. Also don't have family for Christmas dinner which helps . But yeah, I need a kick up the arse to get into the festive spirit this year, feeling massively bah humbug. It hit me the day after Halloween.

So what? You don't have to accomodate them. You have two choices, either make a change and do things as you want and be happy, or do things because they are expected and be unhappy. But if you choose the latter you can't really complain about it.