Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wedding anniversary expectations

61 replies

sparechange · 10/11/2014 13:36

I'm going to try and keep this one neutral...

If you had a big wedding with all your friends and family there, would you then expect them to remember the date and send you a card for your first anniversary at least? What about subsequent anniversaries?

OP posts:
HorraceTheOtter · 10/11/2014 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaxPepsi · 10/11/2014 13:39

I wouldn't expect anyone to remember but my husband.
We do get cards from other people which I love but it always surprises and touches me.

Suefla62 · 10/11/2014 13:39

NO. You really expect cards every year from everyone who went to your wedding? You're setting yourself up for disappointment.

skinoncustard · 10/11/2014 13:39

I try to remember the first anniversary then that's it unless it was my son or daughter.

RawCoconutMacaroon · 10/11/2014 13:39

No, although it was nice when a few people sent one for the 1st, it was quite unexpected.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 10/11/2014 13:40

No.

Nice for the couple. No one else's businesd.

DragonMamma · 10/11/2014 13:40

No, definitely not.

I don't remember other people's anniversaries and I don't expect them to remember mine. I don't even remember my own mum's anniversary and I was bridesmaid - same goes for every other wedding I was bridesmaid at.

Failedspinster · 10/11/2014 13:41

No. I only expect my husband to remember. It's for us, no one else.

Only1scoop · 10/11/2014 13:41

I normally send for first anniversary and after that just the big ones.

SaucyJackOLantern · 10/11/2014 13:43

Nope. Anniversaries are for the couple only.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 10/11/2014 13:43

No, I wouldn't expect that at all.

I think only best man and MIL sent us a first anniversary card. I was surprised to get those. DHs card was the only one I expected.

And it works other way around too, I don't do anniversary cards either. Even for first anniversary of a wedding where I was bridesmaid.
If I remember the date, I'd probably send a text or facebook message.

DoughnutSelfie · 10/11/2014 13:46

Nope would not expect folk to remember, wouldn't mark another couple's anniversary date either.

sparechange · 10/11/2014 13:46

Ok, good!

A friend expressed her extreme disappointment that I, along with most of her other wedding guests, had forgotten their first wedding anniversary.

It wouldn't even occur to me that I should have been expected to send them something, except maybe a text if I remembered the date, or a facebook comment to the inevitable 'One year ago today' post.

She seemed really annoyed that no one had sent them cards Confused

OP posts:
DoughnutSelfie · 10/11/2014 13:49

Yuk at the Princessy behaviour

Take her off your Christmas card list

Like this

Mum and Dad
Gran and Pops
Siblings
Great Aunt Mabel
Friends
Princess Poohead

BitOutOfPractice · 10/11/2014 13:51

No, I wouldn't expect one from anyone except parents and maybe (ony maybe) siblings

Laquitar · 10/11/2014 13:51

Imagine then what she will expect when she has her first baby!!
Get prepared for baby shower party and all the trims!

I dont send cards for Anniversaries.

Mammanat222 · 10/11/2014 13:52

We have enough trouble remembering Birthday's (we have massive families) so screw adding anniversaries to the "list" as well.

Only1scoop · 10/11/2014 13:53

It's ok Op she's probably just pissed off because her Dh forgot Grin

RedSoloCup · 10/11/2014 13:53

We just get a card from his mum and my mum. Sometimes wine and chocs from his mum. This is the first year we've celebrated ourselves tbh as we hadn't been out for so long I insisted, lol!

toptomatoes · 10/11/2014 13:55

No. I was surprised to receive a few cards on our first anniversary, I thought it was just between the couple. I don't send cards for anniversaries except to DH!

BuckskinnedAstronaut · 10/11/2014 13:58

No. We used to get them from my mother and from MIL, but I don't think even they do it any more (although my mother will often call or email). I'd have found it very odd if anyone else had sent a card (TBH I found it a bit odd that the mothers did).

LadyLuck10 · 10/11/2014 14:00

We get well wishes every year by messages or calls from just our parents, siblings and best friends. I wouldn't expect anyone else outside of these people to bother.

Welshwabbit · 10/11/2014 14:03

Nope. I try to remember my best friend's anniversary as she always remembers mine. But I only manage to get a card there on time about 50% of the time! I also try to remember my parents' anniversary, but don't always manage that either. PIL and my parents send cards (in addition to aforementioned best friend). No-one else does. I don't expect any cards except from my husband.

flapjackattack · 10/11/2014 14:08

Anniversaries are only worth cards of they are big ones. Expecting cards (at all) is quite precious but to have a whine about it is bloody poor! And, surely the first anniversary is still one in a happy little bubble?! I have no idea if we had cards or not (too busy being sickeningly couply and couplecentric). Suggest she think of something positive to mark these days. With. Her. Partner.

championnibbler · 10/11/2014 14:09

No. Definitely not. Its your wedding - no-one else should have to acknowledge it on an ongoing basis thereafter.
My DM has tried to railroad me into sending an anniversary card to my DS and her DH each year after their wedding. i have refused.
It's bad enough that I have to organise a card and gift for DM and DF each and every year on their wedding anniversary.