To feel a rental failure

[Welshie1234]

Basically we rent and always have done mainly because by the time we had saved a deposit we were priced out of the market and due to house price inflation we can't keep up with our savings. I am now 40 and my dh is older and we have 2 kids. We live in an expensive city but have good jobs, friends, a life and the dcs are settled in school and have friends.
I want to own my own house I really do - I hate the insecurity of renting and have worked hard to try and make it happen but we just can't afford a deposit as the goal posts keep changing.
I get constant family pressure- we are viewed as the poor relations, as idiots for not buying sooner. We get comments about how ridiculous it is we pay high rent. A friend said to me that they couldnt imagine being in our 'situation'. I get told 'renting is dead money' regularly. My mother rang me yesterday (final straw) to tell me about my cousin's new house with big garden but the underlying theme is always everyone else can buy so what is wrong with you!

AIBU to feel like some kind of social failure?

I am so fed up of it all and dread (avoid) family occasions as I don't have the answers to our supposed 'situation'.

Yes, council house envy here too cruikshank

We have a bidding system too. It seems once you are in private rent and 'seemingly' affording it, that is where you stay.

A stupid question maybe... about France and renting. What do people do when they retire? I always hear people talking about how good it is in Europe for renters but I've always wondered whether people have to just keep paying the same rent for life or do pensioners get a) very generous pensions or b) rent reductions?

*In my postcode studio flat above a shop £179,950. 20 square metres.

Two bed 60 square metres sixth floor £295,000

Ex council 80 square metres with patio and study possibly ok for family is £440,000 starter home ??*

Bloody hell! I lurrrve Yorkshire!

We rent, and hate it. The landlord clearly doesn't give a toss about the house as long as we keep paying the rent. The gas cert is never done on time, the gas fire was condemned (again) this summer & still we've no idea what they are doing about it. We had a hole in the ceiling for 16 months after they changed the boiler, they only fixed it after DH went ballistic at the agent when the repair guys failed to turn up for the 3rd time, & told them if it wasn't done by the time I came out of hospital with brand new DD, they weren't getting in for at least 3 months. House has never been repainted or had new carpets, now getting very tatty. Black mould in bathroom ignored & no attempt made to sort the issue. Bathroom fan doesn't work properly. Almost no storage, there are no cupboards or shelves of any kind anywhere except the kitchen & we aren't allowed to put any up. Shower head leaks due to years of corrosion from the soft water. Kitchen tap has leaked since we moved in. Roof needs attention due to recent storms, we keep finding slates & roof nails in the yard. Agent is aware of all of this. We can't move as no one will touch us as partly reliant on benefits, not eligible for housing association. I hate renting, I know people say in some countries it's less stigmatised but in some countries you can decorate your rental. You can put a damn shelf up without having your deposit docked.

I rent too! And I really like our current home so no incentive to leave whatsoever. DH and I have saved a deposit, but have no reason to leave our current rental as it would mean paying more for a house that isn't half as good. We are just careful to save the difference to ensure that we can buy one day in the future should we choose, although unless we are booted out of our current home, it isn't likely.

I also have a massive mental block against buying that I just can't shift. I'm not sure why - possibly because of every story I hear of someone who has done well from buying, I hear another story about someone else who has run into problems due to buying. For example negative equity, people buying houses that are too small thinking they'll get a bigger one later but having trouble selling their first home and making a loss, someone who found out when trying to sell that their house had an illegal fixture etc.

I read somewhere once that over a 30 year mortgage, for most people the first 19 years are interest.

I have been living with ma partner for nearly 3yrs in his privately rented flat, his the only one on the tenancy agreement and all bills. the landlord is not aware that am living with him with our two daughters, but now he has left us in the flat. I called his landlord and she is saying I need to move out , she says am a squatter and she has refused to serve me an eviction . am now a single mum with no job or money. what do I do?

I don't want to be personal so I'll speak in general terms. I hope my sons will buy. They won't be getting a hand out but where we live there are decent semis and terraced houses for well under £200k and if they have to work in London they can rent out their house near here and rent in London. That way they will have somewhere to live in retirement without rent to pay. Surely people should think about long term housing before they have children ? Just to be aware that having babies before getting a house makes it harder to buy. McFox, it is expensive to live in the nicest parts of Edinburgh but you can live outside ( Carlops for example) in a 3 bedroomed house for less than £200k and be on a bus route.

Unless you 100% need to be in London renting is still a choice rather than a necessity in most cases.

Of course if you are from a small family yourself you could chose to rent until your parents die and you inherit. The bottom line for m children is that at least they will be able to afford a flat to retire to when DH and I pop our clogs.

I did have a house but then I gave it up to look after my mum, who has magically recovered, has sold up and buggered off. (long story). I'm now in rented with a lump of money that's not enough to buy and a salaray/contract that won't let me get a mortgage even if I used the lump of money.
Shit happens, it wasn't my fault.

Higgle, I know but we need to be central as my DH doesn't work in edinburgh and needs to be within walking distance of town in order to get to and from the train quickly. His day is 12/13 hours long as it is, we couldn't add to it. The alternative is that we move to London...

McFox What are you looking for?

4 bedroom terraced house close to South Gyle Railway Station: www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-32531157.html oo £180,000

3 bed end terraced close to railway station/10 minutes train journey to Waverly: www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-47050256.html?premiumA=true oo £180,000

Too expensive? 3 bed semi in Broxburn, quick railway journey to Waverly for oo £130,000

Want to be near Sheriffhall P&R railway stop/5 minute rail journey into town, yet semi rural and ideally placed to go south on the new Borders railway line as well? www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-31927467.html?premiumA=true oo £159,000

We have rented in multiple locations with and without children in tow, to relocate for new jobs. We normally relocate to the new location and rent (from 6 mths to 4 years) whilst putting our house on the market in our old location. Once you've done it once, it's easier to do it again but most people's instincts are naturally against change. Young children are adaptable but yes, once secondary age comes along, stability will be a priority for us. I have to admit that we have turned down a few job opportunities abroad which may have turned out to be pretty interesting but life is too short for regret.

You can still buy 2 bed flats in zone 2 for

I just bought a house in London, but I've had to move right out to the edge of zone 4 to manage it. The commute is pretty awful, but it was the only way. Would it be possible for you to move slightly further out of your expensive city?

I'm always a bit staggered about how wealthy Mumsnet is on the whole. Sometimes I think it tends to skew debates like this in a way that is well-meaning but a bit out of touch with reality. £250k for a house is far, far out of reach for many families, even with two decent wages!!

I read this thread with a sense of guilt that I am lucky enough to have a house. I don't think there should be any stigma associated with renting, and I would definitely support the idea of more secure tenancy arrangements to encourage people to make it a less precarious long-term option. Having been a renter for many years, I know that a lot of landlords are terrible, and that something ought to be done to force them to maintain a decent standard of accommodation in their properties. If you're having your mortgage paid for you by somebody else, you at least owe it to them to make the place pleasant. (My house used to be rented before we bought and the quality of repairs and work in it are shocking. I am having to go through it and redo just about everything).

One problem is that people feel that not owning a house is a matter for individuals to solve. It's not - it's a failure of policy and politicians. The economy isn't something that is magically created - it's shaped by those in power. You guys need to band together and form or join one of the radical movements that aims to advocate for affordable housing, innovative shared equity schemes, and people's right to the city more generally. They do exist - and until you start speaking up in a way that politicians and journalists can hear, you are not going to get anywhere. Don't just sit there and let this happen - get up and campaign for your right to exist where you live!!

I am disappointed to hear someone advocate the idea that people shouldn't have children without a house. What kind of a suggestion is that? :( How depressing to hear it voiced here of all places.

2 bed flats in zone 2 for

there are people who manage to get housing assoc/ housing coop / council etc in central London for eg £200 per week rent for three or four bed. that's matter of luck/circumstance. shared ownership is ridiculous prices now - where you have to earn between £66k and £71k to get just a 25% share in a two bed flat...

Housing revolution is right. There should be a massive movement to build prefabs - the 1940s ones in my old village were actually really lovely homes, and a couple of generations of the same families lived in them. Something really cheap and cheerful but sound, not damp, well insulated and just so many of them and so ridiculously cheap that there is no longer such a thing as waiting lists...

Any government that promised to do that would get my vote. Would create lots of jobs, too. Everyone I knew who lived in the prefabs in the 1960s and 70s, loved them.

I wonder why we accept for a minute politicians like our current government who have refused to provide low cost housing for everyone who wants or needs it. If you could rent a prefab for a stupid price - it would stop house prices climbing so much that we're all priced out of the market, too.

I don't mean US style trailer parks but yer actual pre-fabs.

here's "starter home" shared pownership in London - minimum 40% share is 168,000
www.sharetobuy.com/sharedownershippropertydetails?id=18254

I don't know if I have been canny, clever or just lucky but I'm under 40, bought a flat ten years ago (with no help from parents, nor deposit - one of the 100% mortgages) - was lucky enough that it doubled in price and used the profit to buy a 2 bed terrace house in zone 4 London a couple of years ago. I'm not living in my dream location, but it is a means to an end and appears at the moment to be a good investment as well as a place to live. I'd never pay rent to live in this area, (suburban, not great transport links) but it can be done - living proof!

I don't want anything Chelsy. AsI've said upthread I'm quite happy to rent and save money. I'd rather live in our gorgeous Georgian flat than move to a soulless shoebox miles out of town just to say that I 'own' a place.

Miriama You've answered you're own question!! Bought 10 years ago, 100% mortgage and flat doubled in value. Lucky. If we could get a 100% mortgage we'd buy as we have the income but not the deposit.

Miriama, you say 'I don't know if I have been canny, clever or just lucky'. Well, you do, because you say:

• you bought 10 years ago
• you had a 100% mortgage
• you were 'lucky' it doubled in value

How much would your flat be now that you bought? Could you buy that now on a 100% mortgage?

You have indeed been lucky.

In fact I'm struggling to see where you've been canny or clever? Or rather, cannier or cleverer than anyone who is struggling now.

First, there is nothing wrong with renting. You don't need to own a home to start a family, actually I would argue against it for numerous reasons such as being able to move to a better school district, move to a larger home as your family expands thus keeping your costs down, move to a cheaper area if you want to stay home with your children during the early years, avoid the hassle of repairs during the early years when childcare consumes you or moving to a place with a garden when you have young children.

UK home prices are nuts and if we were to move back to the UK we would be living in a home about a 1/3 to 1/2 of the size of our current home. I am just over the water from Manhattan in NJ and our 5 bed, 4 bath home in a good area was about GBP715k. We rent half of it out and apply all of the rental income to the mortgage. The rent is 55% of our monthly payment. Clapham is about the equivalent area and a home similiar to ours would be about GBP2 million. We were living further out before and our 4bed 1.5 bath house sold for about GBP240k. It was a 30min train ride to midtown and we were a 15 min walk from the station.

My family in the North West are all living in nice homes that are much more affordable. Quite easy to buy a starter home (as in starting a family) for GBP150k and ten years later upgrade to something larger that is GBP250kish.

Oh, yeah, it would all be ok if we were fucking French. Heard it all now!

Cruikshank Do Not stop bidding, or let your registration lapse! the drones in the housing office dont know it all ,trust me.
Many councils have recently brought in quotas whereby the person who has been on the list longest gets the priority. In my council its 25%, of advertised properties, and they are always the nicest places. Also age gives you priority. Many places are over 55s only, so may be one bed, but wont be studios, and if you need some overnight care ( your dc maybe) you could get 2 beds. Also, circumstances change, and if your landlord decides he wants you out in the future, you can then make a homeless application.
Don't take no for an answer, if that happens. If took some stubbornness on my part , but we got priority because of being homeless. Still homeless now ( in temp accom) but hanging on in there for a permanent place, because, like you the alternative scares me.