To feel a rental failure

[Welshie1234]

Basically we rent and always have done mainly because by the time we had saved a deposit we were priced out of the market and due to house price inflation we can't keep up with our savings. I am now 40 and my dh is older and we have 2 kids. We live in an expensive city but have good jobs, friends, a life and the dcs are settled in school and have friends.
I want to own my own house I really do - I hate the insecurity of renting and have worked hard to try and make it happen but we just can't afford a deposit as the goal posts keep changing.
I get constant family pressure- we are viewed as the poor relations, as idiots for not buying sooner. We get comments about how ridiculous it is we pay high rent. A friend said to me that they couldnt imagine being in our 'situation'. I get told 'renting is dead money' regularly. My mother rang me yesterday (final straw) to tell me about my cousin's new house with big garden but the underlying theme is always everyone else can buy so what is wrong with you!

AIBU to feel like some kind of social failure?

I am so fed up of it all and dread (avoid) family occasions as I don't have the answers to our supposed 'situation'.

I've had a mortgage for 13 years.

Bought my last place (a flat)just before the market crashed big time.

Just had to sell it and pay off the mortgage. We are now renting a house. Reason? Because the property I owned was far too small to bring a family up in.

You can imagine how much grief I'm getting for being a homeowner and now being stupid enough to choose to rent! TBH it wasn't really a choice, couldn't afford the difference we would need to borrow to get a house and because I've changed jobs since I first got a mortgage, they won't consider my salary now anyway.

I have to say though, quite enjoying the fact of something going wrong and me just ringing someone up to get them to pay for it!

I would love to go back to renting and am jealous of those that do. The freedom! Not having to pay for repairs!

Why not start off with the cheapest house just to get on the property ladder, where I live prices start at about 30k, but that is not London.

Just out of interest, what do house prices start off at in London? Bet its pricey.

In most parts of London of Central you are looking at minimum 800,000 for something really small. Probably 500,000 if you are looking much further out.

In my postcode studio flat above a shop £179,950. 20 square metres.

Two bed 60 square metres sixth floor £295,000

Ex council 80 square metres with patio and study possibly ok for family is £440,000 starter home ??

I LOVE renting! I love never having to find extra cash and I love the flexibility. I am lucky in that I rent off my uncle and he will never throw me out....he only charges £400 pcm for a three bedroom detached house beside a forest, mountains, and two miles from a town and lake.

My sister pays over £1000 in a mortgage in a shitty town, for a new build in a development where the houses are like boxes squeezed into the tiniest space possible.

I know who has the nicer life.

That is crazy pricing.

20 years ago two bed was £70,000 ...in this postcode

IfNotNowThenWhen it was me that talked about not being able to afford to rent a house that houses us when the tax credits and maintenance stop. I am actually really genuinely worried about this. Rents never go down. They just go up. And my wage won't go up in line with them, and even as it is my wage won't cover enough bedrooms for us. It really is a massive big deal.

Plus of course I'm already paying over twice as much, if not more than that, in rent as friends and family who bought in the 90s are paying in mortgage.

We're old -ish and buying a house was a huge pressure /priority. What buying does do is tie you to a place. We, DH and I wish we'd rented as we've both turned down opportunities to move. Sadly we are from a family where owning a home meant we'd achieved something. Wish we were French ....they love life too much to tie themselves into owning. similar approach to relationships. Hey it's what works for you as a family. If you are happy sidestep other people's unnecessary prying.

I have to say though, quite enjoying the fact of something going wrong and me just ringing someone up to get them to pay for it!

It doesn't always work like that though, does it? Aren't there something like a million homes in private sector renting that are substandard?

Tax credits won't stop.

Interesting thread - not read more than OP and two answers.

I think this summarises the situation in 2014.

Firstly the only peace in life is to say fuck off to others, be they friends, family, colleagues, strangers who tell you how to live your life. They are so judgemental - and says more about them than you.

"Your opinion of me is none of my business".

It's very sad that the housing hysteria has reached such heights that you need a cool few million - the chosen few - to be able to buy a house nowadays anywhere in the south (where most of the jobs are, catch-22)...

Anyway, renting is o.k. A friend died last week, unexpectedly. Would she have been happier having had a mortgage? Leaving it to family to pay off?
Friend of mine has had her deceased dad's house on the market for 8 years, still no takers. But lots of troubles, keeping it up, paying the rates, etc.
Having your own house is often more of a headache than a blessing.

At the end of the day you need a roof over your head, warm room, bed, kitchen, bathroom eh? Whether you pay it per month in rent or mortgage, you can't take it with you anyway. But at least with renting there's no death duties on it! No-one ever looks at it from that perspective....

I am lucky that I rent, live in Europe, it's all regulated, there is no stigma about renting, life long tenancy - as long as you pay the rent and do not disturb the neighbours/neighbourhood, sublet etc. court order will evict you then.
Major stuff - broken boiler etc. - will be taken care of by the housing association, smaller stuff, interior decoration, small jobs - are your own responsibility.

Personally easy to say from where I am sitting I know I think UK needs a housing revolution. And a huge building programme for affordable housing. Laws to make landlords liable to keep their housing stock in standard conditions. never gonna get it with this useless lot out to line their pockets only

Rant over.

Wish we were French ....they love life too much to tie themselves into owning.

They also have tenancy laws that would make the average uk slumlord's eyes water, with rent controls, security of tenure etc. Which is probably why they're keener on renting than we are.

cruikshank - yes, your worries are the same as mine. It only just dawned on me this year what a shit future awaits me. It has me feeling sick & panicky.

Pepperwitheverything, tax credits in regard to my dc will stop. Without tax credits, my take home pay will just about cover the rent and leave me with £200 to spare. That's £50 a week for food, gas, electricity, transport to work and everything. So I won't be able to provide a home for dc once they go off to uni etc. And what if they need to move back in for a while? Just where, in my privately rented bedsit (because trust me that's all I can afford on my wage) are they going to sleep?

It's fucking horrible, isn't it Coco? I'm so sorry to hear you're in the same situation.

Fairy - "me just ringing someone up and getting them to pay for it"

but that is not how it is, like my dad always said There is no free lunch...

The overall costs of repairs will reflect the annual rental increase. It all spreads itself out. And we know who will take the biggest percentage

Yes, it would be a bedsit that I would end up in once dc's leave home.
As there is a lack of council housing - what I can't understand is why, even now, is it still being sold off/right to buy schemes still going?

Iflyaway I'm with you every step of the way. I don't actually want to own a house but I do need to be able to provide a long-term family home that I'm not going to get turfed out of/be unable to afford once the dc have gone. Just a little place with enough space for us all - I'm not asking for the fucking moon on a stick. But I can't even get that, despite working fulltime, which is a bit of a pisser really.

My landlord has no interest in repairs or maintenance. I feel that if we push for jobs to be done he will either evict us or put the rent up. So we do all maintenance and small repairs and arrange for bigger stuff to be done.

But this is why our rent on our 1 bed flat is £1150 rather than £1400 like it could be for the area we live in if our landlord was half decent.

Coco, I think the reason it's being sold off is part of this drive from Thatcher onwards to privatise everything. At the time when ASTs were introduced, they were done so with the express intention of 'stimulating growth' (ie speculation) in the housing market, and turning over responsibility for rented housing from the public to private sector. This has now been accomplished, and no politician will touch it, partly because they are all landlords themselves and all of their mates are landlords, but also because public provision of everything has become a dirty concept, because there aren't any massive conglomerates that can stick their grubby little fingers in the pie if everything is done on a public sector basis.

Yeah, that makes sense unfortunately cruikshank
The only hope of any security for future for me would be to move to council housing. As they are all being bought up left, right and centre and waiting lists are huge, my dc will probably be adults before we get to top of the list so I will have missed the boat so to speak.

I already know I'm never going to be top of the list. The council here operates a bidding system, and people who have higher priority automatically get nearer to the top of the bidding list for any given property. We've been on the list for nine years now, and don't have high priority. I actually phoned up the council and asked if there was any point in bidding for stuff and was told no not really, because people who are homeless etc will be a band above us and get priority (which is fair enough), and there are always going to be people who are a band above us.

I would fucking love a council house. But it isn't going to happen for us.