to think co-sleeping is not a 'bad habit'?

[Carrierpenguin]

I've co-slept with dd since birth (safely when she was a baby, followed all Dr Sears advice etc). She's about to turn three now and has decided she doesn't want to use her cot at all, she only wants to sleep in 'mummys bed'. So I've made the room safe, so I can pop downstairs once she's asleep and spend an hour working/housework/TV before I go to bed.

However, if ever sleeping comes up in conversation with other parents, they all wince and talk of 'bad habits' wrt to my sleeping arrangements. I don't have a view on what they do, but if dd and I go to sleep cuddling, snuggle together all night and wake up happy, how can this be a bad habit for us? We're happy, I'm getting paranoid that I'm doing something terribly wrong though judging by people's reactions. I assume dd will grow out of sleeping in my bed but happy to go at her pace, I doubt I'll have and 18 yo wanting mum I'm single too, so lots of space with no dh.

Of course it's not a "bad habit".

How can sleeping with your baby be seen as wrong? Whilst putting a baby in its own room, away from all human contact is seen as "correct".

I don't care what people do, as long as they don't make ridiculous comments about what others choose. It really is all about what works for each baby and parent.
DD1 slept through the night at 12 weeks and loved sleeping in her cot on her own.
DD2 on the other hand, hated being in her cot and needed to be next to me at night time. She slept beautifully in our bed and so we all got a good nights sleep (the most important thing IMO) when she was 3 she moved into a room with her sister.

I think it would have been horrible to insist Dd1 slept with us, just as much as it would have been awful to insist dd2 slept on her own.

Just do what is best for your baby and you and don't worry what anyone else says.

I know the DCs of the author of Three In A Bed (as PP mentioned) and they are the most well-adjusted, well-balanced and successfully-functioning adults I know. It is total nonsense to say that co-sleeping creates fearful children.

Whatever works for you. Co-sleep, don't co-sleep but don't judge those who co-sleep, it's a sensible choice.

I always laugh at the people who say I'll end up with a teenager in with me. And?
I feel sorry for people who don't get the joy of their child's first sleepy morning words - it's adorable hearing what is uppermost on her mind when she wakes, and often funny.
This morning: "mummy, Pascal (Tangled) is a vampire".
She's 5.
When we stay with cousins, I'm ditched for them. 3 nights a week at her dad's she stays in her own room. For a babysitter she settles no problem. When we stayed in a hotel family suite she wanted her own bed because the one she eyed up was on wheels. We've talked about various options (currently theoretical) for when my boyfriend and his son stay over - sometimes she says she wants her room, sometimes she says my bed is big enough for 4 - it is

Co sleeping is just lovely, and definitely not some awful habit. It's just one possibility in our totally flexible sleeping arrangements - albeit our preference!

We co slept with all of ours. With my oldest it was particularly nice as I worked full time then and it felt like it maximised our time together.
The kids have all moved into their own beds and own rooms, and they always go to sleep really easily. It's not for everyone, but I think it's quite a natural thing to do with a young baby - provided you take precautions about not smothering them with covers, not being drunk etc.

Dd is 5 months, we co-sleep mainly due to her refusal to sleep anywhere else (I have tried EVERYTHING). H is in the spare room and whilst I absolutely love sharing with Dd it is definitely affecting our marriage.

I never did the Co sleeping thing when dd was little. She went into a cot in her own room at 8 weeks old.

From about the age of 3 she started coming into my bed on and off till the age of about 6 where she is pretty much in my bed most of the time. She's 9 in Jan.

I'm a single parent so it doesn't much matter.

I don't mention it to people as they take huge issue with it. It's d's choice. Sometimes she will go in her own bed and stay there all night. Most of the time not. I don't go to bed with her. She goes up a good few hours before Me.

I spoke to someone at gingerbread about this and they said to just leave it. She will stop doing it when she wants to.

She is getting all pretweeny and we are attitude a plenty right now. So its not making a jot of difference in clingy ness or development. She's confident and doing well at school. Has lots of friends etc.

Of course there's nothing wrong with it, people all over the world do it, and even if it were a 'bad habit' it's one that will naturally break - I co-slept with both DDs and I'm lucky to get them in the same COUNTY as me these days let alone the same bed (both grown-up).

With DD1 we used to bring her into bed with us only if she were ill or wakeful or needed feeding, and although we didn't mind it felt like more of a 'disruption', as it were. With DD2 I decided to co-sleep from the start to minimise hassle and it worked well, babe and I just half woke for dozy feeds, I got so much more sleep that way. I can't remember when it ended but obviously it naturally did. I can remember really occasional nights of a 7 or 8 year old in bed with me, when ill or having nightmares. The night can seem a long, lonely, fearful place at times and company in bed is a great comfort.

I also used to beg my poor mother to sleep with me sometimes, when I was quite old - 13 or so! - being an anxious child, especially at night with the fear of 'not getting to sleep'. She did grumble a bit but would arrive bearing a big pillow which she would firmly put down the middle of the bed. It made me feel so reassured and comforted. I always smile when I think of that, dear old Mum.

I slept cuddling DS on top of me for the first three months of his life as there was no getting him to sleep any other way. Was slightly terrified of smothering him though. He's now in a bednest bedside crib. Once he grows out of that I'm hoping we can get him into his cotbed, rather than back in with us. The principle of co-sleeping doesn't bother me, but the safety aspects with a small baby do.

If it works for you then don't worry about what other people say, carry on.

Personally I wouldn't like it. For DW and I , our room is our sacred space and the kids are not allowed in it - ever. If we are in there and they want us they have to knock on the door and we will come to it, they are not allowed to just waltz in. Since we moved the cots into their own rooms when they were babies I can't think of an instance where they have even set foot in our room, it is completely off limits. I think some personal space in your own home is very important.

co- sleeping started here at age 6 - and continues at nearly age 12. Not sure I would have started it if I knew it would continue so long. At the time it was only way for me to get a decent sleep and be able to function well at work.

Its not if you are all happy. Infact it can be lovley. I just wish dd 5 and dd 10 yes10!!! Would sleep in their own beds like ds 2 does!

For those worrying about the future, my DD has plenty of confidence and good friendships. She can sleep at sleep overs and grand parents on her own absolutely fine and also school hols.

I think of you are both happy with the arrangement then it's fine.
I did meet a mum that was co-sleeping and had kicked her hubby out to the spare room which can't be good for their relationship.
We co-sleep sometimes when DD is ill or teething but find I don't sleep well so prefer her to be in her own bed.