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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you celebrated (or plan to celebrate) your 40th?

150 replies

JustSpeakSense · 07/11/2014 10:22

I have always thought I'd love a big party (village hall, live band, balloons, buffet, bar and a big crowd) but I'm beginning to wonder if that's such a good idea.

I recently planned to meet a few (well, I invited about 25) friends in the pub for a few drinks on a Friday. One by one they cancelled and it was just me and one other (billy no mates springs to mind!)

I feel really hurt and am having second thoughts about throwing a big 40th and spending lots of money & effort entertaining 'friends' who obviously can't really be arsed.

I'm wondering if I should just suggest a nice weekend away with my family (maybe a European City break) instead.

How did you (or how do you plan to) celebrate your 40th?

OP posts:
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 07/11/2014 22:05

I've still got three years to go until my 40th, but I want a party. Smile
I organised a surprise party for DH's 40th the other year. Invited loads of friends he hadn't seen for ages. He loved it.
Just pretended we were going for a few pints at the pub and sprung a load of good, old friends on him! Grin

AlwaysWashing · 07/11/2014 22:20

I'm going to be 40 next May.
Had planned in my head a fabulous masquerade party which is very unlike me as I don't really do parties or being centre of attention but thought why the hell not. However my Mum died this summer & the idea of doing anything fabulous without her is frankly ridiculous.
DH & I will probably go somewhere nice for dinner while my Dad has the DC and all my friends are disappointed in me.

Hulababy · 07/11/2014 22:22

My actual 40th I was at work though. Went out for lunch with my year group and from there got THE call. So lunch cut short and instant alert as we prepped for OFSTED the next morning!

Lizzylou · 07/11/2014 22:27

I went to Edinburgh with dh and ds' s for weekend, had a wonderful time, loads of lovely food and drink and experiences.
It was exactly as I planned it.

ConfusedNC · 07/11/2014 22:35

I spent it at my nephew's bday party with ds having whale of a time, followed by few beers and pub meal with best mate. (day before was epic rollercoaster involving sledgehammer, my house, twatty abusive xhtb and piano - I digress!)

Am planning birthday do a year late. ;)

JustSpeakSense · 07/11/2014 23:30

Such amazing and different celebrations! I think my favourite 40th memories/ stories on this thread end in...'just the way I wanted it, wouldn't have changed a thing!'

OP posts:
Gumblossom · 07/11/2014 23:32

I went to Melbourne (I am from Western Australia) and stayed in the poshest hotel for four nights. We could only really afford the cheapest room, but when I got there they'd upgraded us to a suite Grin It was the best birthday present. DH organised a beautiful restaurant on my birthday, with champagne ready on my arrival. T'was lovely and memorable.

DH, on the other hand had a big party at our home with all our friends - they bought potluck supper, which was great. Unfortunately, one of his good friends decided it would be nice to give him brownies laced with THC. He was so stoned he couldn't blow out the birthday candles!

For his 50th we booked a lovely big house away from home and invited close friends to spend the weekend - that was a much better idea. No special brownies that time!

I plan to spend my 50th with close friends on a tropical island somewhere, if I can, Fiji, Vanuatu, Maldives, or Queensland.

DramaAlpaca · 07/11/2014 23:38

To celebrate my 40th I had a meal out with friends, a family get-together, and another party with a friend who was also turning 40. I also had a good cry Grin

I've just had my 50th but didn't want a fuss. Instead, DH & I are going for a trip to New York when we get around to arranging it.

Revenant · 07/11/2014 23:43

I don't like parties where I can't leave and go home when I'm tired! I went to inverness instead. I had a lovely time and went looking for Nessie on Loch Ness.

HoundoftheBaskervilles · 08/11/2014 00:07

I had a lovely 40th, my actual birthday fell in the Easter holidays so went to Bristol with DH & the DCs, had a remarkably civil, three hour lunch at a lovely restaurant then DH took the DCs to the aquarium whilst I had an appointment with a personal shopper at Harvey Nics, had planned a nice meal in the evening but were knackered so had chips & went to bed.

The next weekend was the bank holiday & we rented this lovely house for the weekend (see pic) with my siblings & all their children, had caterers in on the Saturday evening who did an amazing five course meal (& an early supper & cake for the children before they went to bed), loads of chatting, games, eating, drinking, beautiful place, brilliant weekend - loved it, it's very rare we all get together as we're so busy, just adored it, my brother & his partner also announced they were expecting their first child so double celebration (it's due this week, we're all pacing).

The weekend after, had friends over to mine for cocktails and much hilarity, although at 2am I ran away to bed and left them to it (gimmer) and woke up with a guinea pig being gently placed on my head by DD the next morning (there was also one in my Prada shoe - I appreciated neither gesture).

It was DH's 40th in August, we haven't done much yet, went out for a meal in the evening but have been too busy for much else, we're planning a long weekend without the DCs to Marrakech some time in the New Year & may have a joint party next Spring when we can get everyone together.

I feel a bit bad as we did so much for mine and bugger all so far for his, however, I was planning from Feb in order to get everyone together for mine & was continually asking him for months what he wanted to do for his to no avail.

We do have ten members of his family coming over for Christmas though & staying for a week, so he's not being entirely neglected.

PhoebeMcPeePee · 08/11/2014 00:08

We've rented a big cottage for a night with a group of old friends + partners. Boys playing golf in the day, girls going to nearby town for shopping/lunch & then having a dinner party in the evening. It's end of Jan so we got a bargain on the house& everyone's chipped in to cover food which we will order from M&S sort and then we'll all bring a bottle or 3. Catch bloody wait.

On my actual birthday my parents are taking me & DH to London for dinner & a show.

HoundoftheBaskervilles · 08/11/2014 00:10

Arrgghh - my pic pic didn't work, it showed up in the preview, I'll try again, it was an amazing place, really beautiful.

To ask how you celebrated (or plan to celebrate) your 40th?
HoundoftheBaskervilles · 08/11/2014 00:10

(Too old for touchscreens emoticon).

TaytoCrisp · 08/11/2014 00:48

I had a great night out in a tapas restaurant followed by dancing til 3am with my pals. Purchased a lovely ted baker dress for the occasion and got makeup done in Mac beforehand. My sis is celebrating this weekend by spending 5 nights in New York with her best pal instead of a party - she is having an amazing time - she has never been away from her two dcs for that long before and is enjoying the break.

arna · 08/11/2014 08:39

Fat duck - younger clientele but unmatched foodie experience wins hands down. Fun, pretentious, indulgent - if you can only choose one, it's got to to be this one. However, only a signed birthday card from Heston so boo to him!

Waterside inn - very mature clientele (we felt positively young!). Classic French. No true comparison since we had the 3 course set lunch as opposed to the full on tasting menu of the Fat duck. Incomparable customer service though - they offered me an extra slice of cake with 'happy birthday' piped on the cake plus then persuaded us to sit in the summer pavillion outside looking out to the river for our petit fours. It was a revelation - a huge surprise and it made me feel special. However, I cannot remember the food because it didn't stand out whereas we still talk about the fat duck.

So...fat duck wins hands down for food and the waterside inn for customer service. Hth.

Fishstix · 08/11/2014 08:41

Some lovely friends took me away for a surprise weekend to a European city I'd always wanted to visit a couple of weeks before.
DH and I spent the actual day together, went to do something I had wanted to for a while and then a meal. Spent the evening with rest of the family. Had a small get together with some friends the weekend after.
Had a meal out with our closest friends at a restaurant we'd always wanted to try.
We spread it out, I chose to do separate things with separate people because then it's easier to have a proper catchup....and I hate being the centre of a lot of people's attention.

BestIsWest · 08/11/2014 10:53

I went to Paris with DH for my 49th. I would like to say it was romantic but it was exhausting as there was a transport strike and we had to walk everywhere.

For my 50th we went back to Paris with the teenage DCs. That was great fun.

ThatDamnedBitch · 08/11/2014 10:57

I'm not 40 yet, but for DH's 40th earlier this year I rented a lovely old cottage (used to be a dairy farm) in Wales for the weekend. It was just us and the 3 kids, we had a lovely time. And it was a surprise that I sprung on him on the Friday. Grin

FunkyBoldRibena · 08/11/2014 10:58

A week in New York - stayed in the Chelsea Hotel - went to all my favourite haunts and spent the moment of my 40th in the Zipper Theatre watching burlesque.

Lunch in my all time favourite restaurant in Union Square and then straight to the airport for the flight home. Filled all my bags with cinnamon gum and sweets to last me until the next time.

Marvellous.

MyGhostIsFlummoxed · 08/11/2014 11:21

I had a big party, was open house in our garden with a barbecue (was lucky my birthday is in July) & asked people to contribute food/drink. That way we didn't spend too much & it didn't matter too much financially if people didn't come. We also started at 2pm so people with children could bring them. Had a great time, not not too bad a hangover the next day Grin

Poopooweewee · 08/11/2014 11:22

I had an amazing 40th, flew out to Ibiza with friends, had dinner at a beautiful restaurant overlooking the sea and then had a party back at the villa... Got a boat the next day to Formentera to sunbathe off the hangovers. It was unforgettable Smile

fatlazymummy · 08/11/2014 11:26

Nothing in particular. I had a baby 2 weeks before.
I can vaguely remember going to the having some chocolate cake with my kids but thats the only thing I did on my birthday. We also went to the pizza hut, but not on the actual day.

NickNackNooToYou · 08/11/2014 12:24

I finally hit my target weight, best feeling ever. It pissed it down on my actually birthday so the long walk and picnic I planned was scrapped. Instead DH dropped kids at school and we spent the day in the gym mainly in the sauna and hot tub

The week before I had a joint party with my friend BEST PARTY EVER. I hate them but got swept along in saying yes, we had a fancy dress theme, band and retro buffet. Bloody loved it we were buzzing Grin

MrsMarcJacobs · 08/11/2014 12:36

I dont have many close friends in this country so DH has booked us a long weekend in the Caribbean. It's our first holiday sans kids in over 3 years. Looking forward to being at the beach! ( although slightly panicked at leaving kids!)

KnittedJimmyChoos · 08/11/2014 13:43

arna Sat 08-Nov-14 08:39:57

Thank you thank you for the excellent descriptions.

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