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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you celebrated (or plan to celebrate) your 40th?

150 replies

JustSpeakSense · 07/11/2014 10:22

I have always thought I'd love a big party (village hall, live band, balloons, buffet, bar and a big crowd) but I'm beginning to wonder if that's such a good idea.

I recently planned to meet a few (well, I invited about 25) friends in the pub for a few drinks on a Friday. One by one they cancelled and it was just me and one other (billy no mates springs to mind!)

I feel really hurt and am having second thoughts about throwing a big 40th and spending lots of money & effort entertaining 'friends' who obviously can't really be arsed.

I'm wondering if I should just suggest a nice weekend away with my family (maybe a European City break) instead.

How did you (or how do you plan to) celebrate your 40th?

OP posts:
Wolfbasher · 07/11/2014 14:56

I spent mine lying on the sofa vomiting (9 weeks pregnant...)

But I can't be bothered with parties any more anyway, For my 44th (imminent) I am going out for a nice lunch with DH then home to pick up DC from school/nursery and eat cake :)

workhouse · 07/11/2014 15:15

I don't like having parties either, I don't really like being the center of attention which is probably why we aren't married!

Anyway, on my fiftieth I went to Venice for a few days with DP, left the kids with PIL and we stayed in a modest hotel with a view from our room over a canal. We could hear the gondoliers singing from our balcony, it was the most magical birthday I have ever had!

Failedspinster · 07/11/2014 15:24

I've got a few years yet before I'm 40, but would like to have a city break/weekend away with DH. Kids will be 10 and 8 by then so won't feel guilty! For my 30th I had a group lunch with friends in a cafe bar, as I'd just given birth five weeks before and wasn't really up to anything major :) it was lovely though!

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 07/11/2014 15:24

I'm not one for celebrating birthdays as a grown-up either. Having said that, my 40th is next July and we will be on a family holiday in Turkey at the time. It's just coincidence that my birthday happens to fall in the cheapest week (travel wise) of the school summer holidays.

DH's 40th is next week - and I've no idea if we are doing anything Confused. I haven't even bought a card yet TBH.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 07/11/2014 15:31

I did very little. I worked the night shift into my birthday so I was knackered anyway.

Dh bought me some lovely thoughtful gifts and some flowers. We went on holiday at the end of the week so couldn't fit much in.

I hate parties tbh so a big party would be my idea of hell but it was nice to be a bit spoiled.

KatieKaye · 07/11/2014 16:06

Spa town in the Napa Valley - went to Mumm Napa Winery during day to buy champagne, out for dinner and then sat in hot tub drinking champagne under the stars! Magic.
Twas my best birthday ever.

KnittedJimmyChoos · 07/11/2014 16:09

DH & I had a foodie break in Bray, and had 2 unforgettable meals - dinner & lunch at 2 respective well known restaurants can you share? I know one is fat duck whats the other one?

MuddlingMackem · 07/11/2014 16:13

My 40th fell on a Saturday, and my birthday is during the summer, so DH, the kids and I had a day out at a place where my parents used to take my brother and me on holiday as children and I hadn't been to since.

Weather was glorious, kids had a great time, lovely day to look back on. :)

PatricianOfAnkhMorpork · 07/11/2014 16:18

I ended up having quite a lot of parties for mine for the different groups of people in my life.

Joint family party with my DB & SIL as it was their 25th Wedding Anniversary a few weeks before
Party with about 30 of my work buddies after work on the day nearest my birthday
Afternoon tea at a top London hotel with my best mate
Dinner with DP and several of our friends
Dinner for two with DP

Had a lovely time at all of them and all of them were the right size to be able to mingle and chat with everyone properly.

MmeGuillotine · 07/11/2014 16:38

I turned forty a month ago. My husband took me to Berlin for five days without the children. It was pretty amazing as I'd never been there before and we hadn't been away alone for YEARS.

I wasn't sure about having a party as pretty much all of my friends live in a different city on the other side of the country and I don't really socialise in the one that I live in due to social anxiety stuff. I should probably work on that as part of my New Decade/New Me unfucking my life strategy! :)

Dogsmom · 07/11/2014 16:46

Nice to see so many fellow 40ish people here, I usually feel old.

Mine is next April and originally we were going to go to our favourite cottage in the lakes but now we'll have a 6 week old daughter so will probably go for lunch somewhere nice and spend the evening watching telly!
I do like parties but not so much being the centre of attention, at our wedding reception I felt like I needed to spend time to chat to everyone when all I wanted to do was dance with my best friends.

bigbluestars · 07/11/2014 17:41

I don't like parties or birthdays. I did nothing for my 40th - which suited me just fine!!

juneau · 07/11/2014 17:44

I went away for the weekend with my DH. I felt like I should have a big party too, but in the end we were about to move house (we moved the following week), and when it came down to it what I really wanted and needed was a weekend away. So we went to Prague. It was December and it was chilly, but it was lovely and just what we both needed. No stress, no kids, no worrying if anyone would turn up, just us in a lovely hotel all covered with fairy lights.

Taffeta · 07/11/2014 17:48

I'm guessing the other well known restaurant nr the Fat Duck is the Hand & Flowers in Marlow? ( or poss the Hinds Head, also in Bray ).

I shared my 40th with DDs 1st and DMs 70th on a sunny August day. We had a big garden party with a four piece jazz band.

For my 50th I'm thinking a nice dinner with friends in Central London.

OhForFoxSakeYourPullingMyChain · 07/11/2014 17:56

I have a bit of a project 40 going on at the minute, i am saving up for a VW Beetle, I am growing my hair, taking better care regarding exercise and diet, and trying to think ultimately what I want to do to celebrate, nice small scale meal perhaps. I told hubby recently i will only have a party if I can come as the women out of deelite in the Harlequin catsuit [Always wanted to be her since I was about 15. :)

OhForFoxSakeYourPullingMyChain · 07/11/2014 17:57

*woman that should read, sorry its my age you see :)

GobblersKnob · 07/11/2014 17:58

Nothing, hopefully I'll be working.

Thudercatsrule · 07/11/2014 18:00

I've booked for me and DH to go to LA and Las Vegas for a week for my 40th, kids don't know, because they aren't coming!! :)

flightywoman · 07/11/2014 18:19

I was single at the time so I treated myself. Just before my birthday I had a holiday in Jordan and Egypt which was amazing and after I got back I had 3 parties/celebrations - with various friends and family. I had a great time!

10 months later I met the peerless Mr Flighty and my life completely changed in every way possible, I loved my 40th year.

Next birthday I will be 50 and I am going to Paris for a few days with Mr Flighty, Little Miss Flighty and Flightymum.

arna · 07/11/2014 19:29

Nope, twas the Waterside Inn where we also stayed for the night. We decided to push the boat right out and take advantage of the child free night so we had dinner at the Fat Duck followed by lunch the following day at the Waterside Inn. Grin

Worryworker · 07/11/2014 19:40

My 40th isn't until June 2016 but am already planning on a trip to New York with my sister and I cannot wait. Always wanted to go there so turning 40 is definitely a good reason to go!

ZingOfSeven · 07/11/2014 19:48

I had a lovely breakfast with my DH, kids & mum. he got me 40 red roses and I opened my presents.
Then we had some family over for tea and cake after lunch & sat in the garden chatting while the kids were playing.
I wore my dressing gown coz I wasn't feeling well.
spent the rest of the day getting ready for BabyZing's baptism the next day - which went well.
it was a truly wonderful weekend and just what I wanted! Smile

(shame I wasn't too well, but the timing was lucky - by the next Friday I was jaundiced and in incredible pain. I was admitted to hospital and was diagnosed with biliary colic due to gallstones. I had gallbladder removed last Monday and I'm recovering well. now I can eat cake again!Grin)

ImTheOneThatKnocks · 07/11/2014 19:54

I did nothing as we had just moved countries and I was literally a Billy no mates. DH was travelling so it was just me and the kids.

I feel a 40th is more of a thing I'd celebrate with family rather than doing a big event but I wouldn't object if someone else did a big 'thing'

OhYouBadBadKitten · 07/11/2014 19:59

A walk and a very nice meal with dd and dh. Suited me down to the ground.

Bessiebigpants · 07/11/2014 20:07

Mine falls near Christmas so this year my celebration is going to be combined with our Annual Christmas piss up.Because I'm single and my birthday is near Christmas I m not expecting great things but the children are away and I'm staying at a hotel so it's not all bad.I had thought that I would be somewhere exotic with my husband and family but it's not to be.Ive got a slight pang that I'm not doing something fabulousif I'm honest but,would never admit it out loud.