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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you celebrated (or plan to celebrate) your 40th?

150 replies

JustSpeakSense · 07/11/2014 10:22

I have always thought I'd love a big party (village hall, live band, balloons, buffet, bar and a big crowd) but I'm beginning to wonder if that's such a good idea.

I recently planned to meet a few (well, I invited about 25) friends in the pub for a few drinks on a Friday. One by one they cancelled and it was just me and one other (billy no mates springs to mind!)

I feel really hurt and am having second thoughts about throwing a big 40th and spending lots of money & effort entertaining 'friends' who obviously can't really be arsed.

I'm wondering if I should just suggest a nice weekend away with my family (maybe a European City break) instead.

How did you (or how do you plan to) celebrate your 40th?

OP posts:
BolshierAyraStark · 07/11/2014 12:19

I'd quite like to be in Prague for mine as its in December-is 4 years away so plenty of time to drop hints to DH...

whois · 07/11/2014 12:34

My sister had her 40th last year, and her husband had his this year.

They had pretty big parties at their house. Invited school friends, uni friends, mum friends, neighbours etc.

Food, music, drinks. People made a big effort in coming a long way and both parties were pretty wild today's the end. Especially considering I think of my sister as a big grown up so it was fun to see her friends do shots and stuff.

dotty2 · 07/11/2014 12:41

Spin it out! On the day itself (which was a school day in winter), DH took the day off and we went out for a run and a nice pub lunch together. I also had a night away with a couple of really good friends and on the nearest weekend DH made dinner and cocktails at home for me and my closest local friends. I'm not a big party kind of person, and I was very happy with all of that (did have to organise it all myself, though - DH will fall in with any suggested plans and be endlessly helpful but is sadly totally incapable of taking any initiative).

Ilovehamabeads · 07/11/2014 12:41

My DD(9) baked me a cake all by herself and we had chippy tea, in between me ferrying DD and DS to their various evening activities :) It was lovely.

poorbuthappy · 07/11/2014 12:44

I went away too. As other people said, just couldn't rely on others.
I did actually have a small house party the week after and half the people cancelled again - noted for future reference!

AnnieLobeseder · 07/11/2014 12:45

I spent a wonderful day at Thorpe Park with friends, followed by dinner with friends both from the day event and those who couldn't make it earlier on. Great fun!

One of my best mates is having her party at a festival next summer, which is also a fine idea in my books.

Butterpuff · 07/11/2014 12:54

Not 40 yet, but for my 30th my gorgeous boyfriend took me to Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons for dinner. It was amazing, I am a proper foodie. He is my husband now Wink

IamSlave · 07/11/2014 13:04

dont risk it you dont want to be worrying, organising party after recent let downs is silly.

plan something wonderful instead, go somewhere you would never normally think of, lapland or ice hotel, northern lights, or marrakech, etc. go for special meal

Fabulous46 · 07/11/2014 13:06

We went to a villa in Barbados with the family. My brother lives there and it was fab to spend my 40th with his family too. I'm not a party person.

IamSlave · 07/11/2014 13:10

Betrayedbutsurvived Fri 07-Nov-14 10:47:45 sounds wonderful am going to start saving for mine soon its a few away but I want to eat at some coveted places, eg Le Manoir....shard....and go away as well for weekend.

op i think you have answered your own question how much more would you look forward to something speical

Jayne35 · 07/11/2014 13:15

I was also going to through a party for mine at end Jan but we are now having a big birthday party in Dec for another family member and it would be most of the same people invited so I'm not bothering now as too close together.

DH and I are booking a 4 day break somewhere now instead. I will have an evening out and invite a few friends when I get back though.

JackShit · 07/11/2014 13:32

I worked on my 40th Hmm

tbh the idea of organising your own big birthday party seems...odd.

Mitzimaybe · 07/11/2014 13:40

I'm not massively keen on big parties, so didn't have one, but did spin it out a bit. I spent the actual day with a close friend and her DH, as my DP was working. The closest weekend, DP took me out for a day in the country, slap-up meal at a wonderful country inn. A couple of weeks later, had a spa day with a few friends. All lovely.

brainwashed · 07/11/2014 13:40

Went on a family holiday to Sorrento...best holiday ever!

Andrewofgg · 07/11/2014 13:41

I wish I could remember mine.

RufusTheReindeer · 07/11/2014 13:43

I had 6 parties

Monday at local Indian 10-15 people
Tuesday at local Chinese 10-15 people
Wednesday video night at mine 5-10 people
Thursday tea and cakes at mine 20ish people
Friday cocktails at TGI Fridays 5-10 people
Saturday big party 80ish people
Sunday I rested !

Some people came to one, some to a few and some to all!!

CallMeExhausted · 07/11/2014 13:43

I did nothing. DH went away for a 5 day weekend and I was home with the DCs.

Interestingly enough, I also did nothing for my 39th and 41st.

I am not one who gets excited about things like my birthday, though.

Dakiara · 07/11/2014 13:45

Went to Cardiff with OH and the kids to go to the Doctor Who Experience. We all dressed up (two Doctors and two Daleks) - it was fab! :-D

I would say pick something you have always wanted to do, choose people you love and go do it! Have a good one! :-)

meglet · 07/11/2014 13:46

I had a day off work and went to the gym. In the evening I was rapid returning which doesn't work my then 5yo to bed. Dinner on my own then an OU essay.

I'm a working LP with nothing to celbrate Hmm.

Ujjayi · 07/11/2014 13:50

Absolutely organise a very special treat for you & your DH. It sounds as though you are edging that way anyway.

My friends are similar to yours OP. DH & I went on the holiday of a lifetime & I really didn't miss the party thing.

5Foot5 · 07/11/2014 13:55

DH and I spent the weekend at Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons GrinGrin

MaxPepsi · 07/11/2014 14:02

I had a brilliant party for my 30th and I decided trying to compete with that for my 40th would be to much.
Therefore I told DH that I wanted to go away to our favourite seaside resort for the weekend and if any family or friends want to join us great, if they don't that is great too.
It's happening next year and DH is organising it all. I know some people will be there but exactly who I have no idea. I can't wait as I'm partly in control but partly to be surprised!

MsAspreyDiamonds · 07/11/2014 14:22

I have started celebrating a few monthe early by resigning from my crap job. My new boss was the female version of Jekyll & Hyde so I thought fuck it I am quitting.

I have no idea what I am going to do career wise but I am going to do one nice thing per month to celebrate my 40th. It doesnt have to be a big thing but certainly a monthly treat to celebrate my 40th year of existance.

dun1urkin · 07/11/2014 14:27

Me and a friend (who is 40 a few weeks after I am) are going to New York for a few days. We were both discussing the notion of marking the event but neither of us are big party people.
We agreed to do this about 2 years ago, and are 38 now... Gives us chance to save up!
5foot we discussed going there as well! (this friend is my usual fine dining companion, neither of our DHs are that bothered....) I think we might end up doing both in the end Grin

arna · 07/11/2014 14:46

DH & I had a foodie break in Bray, and had 2 unforgettable meals - dinner & lunch at 2 respective well known restaurants. The thought of planning a big party was/is frankly too stressful. So much more easier to just think of organising than family & friends en mass especially when they live all over the country. I took DH to NY for his 40th. Thinking very much on the same lines for our 50th's.