to even be considering this (private school related)?

[pickledsiblings]

40 minute drive to a Park & Ride

20 minute bus journey

10 minute walk

Would I be insane to consider doing this with my 7 year old as a daily commute/school run (and the reverse journey home again)?

School is a-maz-ing and just 'round the corner from potential new job.

special one-to-one time on the park and ride This made me giggle.

It's so going to be an MN posting in a few months to say "Can anyone suggest alternatives to back to back 1D albums for my 2.5hr daily commute to school/work with DC3"?

My dad wanted to listen to Radio 4 news equiv. for the hour or so in the car and went mental if we put in headphones "treating him as glorified taxi driver etc", so we mostly dozed with an occasional grunt if asked to agree with whatever the Thought of the Day was. This was at uni level though.

It also means that you can never take a day off/day off ill or wfh during school terms unless your DH takes her to school.

^^This - ChippingInAutumnLover Thu 06-Nov-14 13:33:31
is a series of good questions I think you should ask yourself very carefully.

jazz, I take your point and agree that the more straightforward the commute the better.

I've written the P&R off, so that's one decision made.

I'm not prepared at this stage to write the whole idea off. I am meeting my friend tomorrow whose DC go there and I will find out lots of useful stuff I'm sure.

Any more thoughts about the train? Every day twice a day would definitely become tedious and I can see that it would be tiring. The 10 minutes each way walk I am looking forward to (we drive everywhere) although it would be no fun whatsoever in the rain.

About the driving, I could probably drop near then drive and park and do the reverse at home time so it would effectively be door to door for DC3. Am I deluded to think that those little tweaks make any difference?

Just wanted to say, not that it makes any difference, but we have been doing a crazy commute thing for ages so it's not the shock it might be. For example, today DH has driven 1.5 hrs to work and this evening he will drive 1.5 hrs to pick up DC1 and then another 45 mins home. Just a typical Thursday.

Hey Pickled.

Go for the interview? And see how even that is as a commute. No dc, no pressures, just the commute. A test run will probably tell you more.

You follow the school every day on Twitter? Oh my. You have it bad.

I think that no matter how tough DS3 is, that commute is going to slay him, he's only wee, just 7.

Still, I'll shut up, you know what I think would be best

Could you do a practice run to see the reality of the journey?

This is a real dilemma, isn't it?

I got into one of the top 3 independent schools in the country (at the time) at aged 11. I did the following every day until I passed my driving test and could drive to school:
15 minute walk
45 minute train journey
10 minute walk

I didn't bat an eyelid. It meant that I enjoyed my schooling enormously as the school was wholly right for me. True, there weren't many playdates but that didn't bother me at all. I had outside interests, closer to home that I pursued at the weekends.

My two observations are:

• your DC might be a little young at 7 to be doing this (but I wouldn't necessarily let that stop you. If you think they're capable then they most probably are.)
• the train journeys together might not be as idyllic as you thought (grumpy from early starts/late trains and/or catching up on your work and your DC's homework).

It'll be interesting to hear your friend's thoughts after your chat with them.

IMO, no school would be good enough to warrant that kind if commute for a 7 year old. Perhaps when in secondary, but for a junior, unless he has special needs then I wouldn't contemplate it.

Chipping, he is only wee but he's not my PFB. We go in and out of Camb. quite a bit so he sort of knows the journey.

Hi Marsha, I know you will feel my pain here! Have had interview, I may not get this job but there will be others

PopsandPip, thanks for sharing your experience. I wonder what makes some DC hate it and others not mind so much? Enjoying schooling enormously may be key.

It has been so helpful to hear all of your opinions and ideas, thank you everyone. I must go and do the school run now, it's a mere breeze at a 10 minute drive, no traffic :)

Oh, one more thing before I go, would the commute as a drive be better with 2 DC (they could keep each other company) do you think? Same goes for the train actually but starting to get expensive (relatively) then. Shame that they wouldn't be at the same school though, but both in Camb and one on the way to the other.

If i were in your shoes and needed such a long commute for a great job i wanted, I would be looking for a weekly boarding school for my DC. They would benefit from the after school clubs and you would take the transport pressure off yourself and the DC.

I think you're determined to do it.

I loathed being even a couple of miles away from school at that age: being ferried to and from school and living a long way from friends was awful. I do see that a school like this has quite a few pupils who don't live locally - I have relatives and friends who send their kids there; but I wouldn't fancy it myself.

Taking two of them together would probably end up with them at each others' throats, IME!

I've had to do mega commutes with the kids due to living overseas and restrictions on which schools we could get them into. It was ok and the kids didn't complain. I find kids need some downtime after school so rather than getting home quickly and sitting in front the TV for an hour they just used to have their 'downtime' in the car.

Your DC could load up some favourite shows on a tablet and could chill out for the trip home. It would be much more relaxing in your own car than the train.
In some ways it's easier for a child to commute than an adult; adults have to do chores when they get home. Kids only have to look after themselves and their own homework. I'm not sure that just sitting in a car is that tiring if you are just a passenger. I also used to have great chats with the kids in the car.

Having said that my kids were fine with the commute we made sure, when we moved back to the UK, that we moved to a house with less than a 10 min walk from their school. It is fantastic to be so close to the school. It's brilliant for them to be so close to their friends and i love the fact they can be independent so young.

As we are so close we often end up as the house of choice for get togethers. I love the fact that all the kids ended up knowing their siblings friends and that I got to know them too. It's relaxing and good fun. I relished not having to do any driving.

The school is not outstanding but the first three kids are doing what they want at the Uni's of their choosing (medicine, maths etc) so going to an 'average' school hasn't been a problem. Not sure what will happen with DC4 who is in the last year of her A levels but it should be ok.

Would you get a seat if you went on the train? I think it makes a huge difference if you do.

I think how robust kids are depends on a lot of things. One of them being purely genetic!

I'm one of those people that travels badly and needs my sleep, At 10 DH was doing a 5 am milk round each day before school!

The train part of the commute is the easy bit, best option if money not too tight. Time to catch up on "How was your day?" and do homework. There's a dad I often see commuting with his son to a prestigious school by train (1/2 each way). They have nice chats about life, science puzzles, homework, whatever. Harder to chat or do homework in a car.

I'm going to do the train commute a day next week at the correct times and take notes.

Good idea. I think the doing it at the right times and seeing what it's like will give you a better steer. I understand your dilemma!

Lilymaid do you have any comments/info about the school? I know you live over that way.

amouse you have me thinking that perhaps I could aim to get in early and leave earlier, that way missing the worst of the traffic as you've suggested. Earliest I could get in for would be 8:30 so could leave at 4:30, would that make much difference? Ii think it might, Addenbrooks doesn't get busy until 5ish.

pickledsiblings
No, I don't know about the school as it now is as my DCs are grown up and I don't know people with DCs that age. So when I saw your posts I was thinking about the two preps in the west of the city beyond the Backs.
I've been interested in the way that the Girls (which was always a good school) has morphed into the SP and that there are now three prep/pre-preps as part of its foundation. Also interesting that the 11-16 school will separate boys from girls, with them coming back together again in the sixth form.

Thanks Lily, those are lovely schools. We visited one and a friend's son is at the other. They actually offered us a 50% bursary but sadly it wasn't enough. And DC3 was listened to and recommended but we didn't fancy boarding…lucky you with grown up kids.

I think that WordFactory is right in her comments re genetics. Although I drive 3 hours a day to and from DC's schools, they are pleasant commutes (rural area) and critically I don't work. I absolutely know that I would disintegrate within a week if I had to do all that driving, and worse hopping on and off buses and trains, if I worked too.