to think THIS is why you shouldn't complain if you can't take pictures of your DC on stage in their nativity play

[Wolfbasher]

There's always a few threads this time of year complaining about schools that have a 'no photo' rule at the nativity play.

Some children need to be protected from having their image spread around, because there are unpleasant people trying to find them. This was one.

BBC link

Obviously there's no suggestion that it was a school photo that helped this particular abuser to track down this mother and child. But there are children in UK schools today who are at this kind of risk. I just don't get why people think their right to bob about taking blurry pictures/video during a performance trumps another family's safety. Take your picture of your child in costume before/after the performance. You don't need to record every second of it.

We didn't have video cameras when i was a child and i am really not scarred by not having a recording of my second-angel-on-left debut.

Back it has already been stated that masks/bears etc fall off or are removed by children! I cannot see how that would make a whole lot of sense. For a moment there I thought it was a good idea, but then I thought hang on this means my ds has to wear a mask or beard, not take it off, not allow it to fall off, be limited in the part he can have because of it, all so other parents can take photos that might include my child!

Now...*A suggestion that it would mark out those needing protection (why not make it all those needing protection plus at least 2 others at random?)" all those children who are needing protection plus two other random children all need to wear masks/beards etc.

The school sports day is a valid thing too because many parents may well want to photograph the events/film them.

Imagine if the parents/partners/children of your work colleagues insisted they had a right to arrive at your works Christmas party and film everyone and if you were not happy to be filmed you should have to wear a mask!

Back no problem with people photographing their own children at home, in the park, on hols, etc but why should parents have the right to film in a school?

I haven't read all the comments do apologies if this is no longer relevant...

But slightly different in that I opted out of media photographs with my sons football team as they are no contact with their dad (ordered by courts) yet they disregarded this and he found out the team and therefore where they played, turned up, caused trouble and the police had to be called.

Nobody other than us would expect for a second that my son was under a court order and a restraining order for their dad making threats to kill so you never know which children are subject to what orders so a blanket ban has to be in place.

Surely kids safety is more import and than grandma watching a video of the school play or whatever.

I have no issues with parents taking photos of their kids. But I do have a problem with them taking one of mine. His birth family live very close and I have no idea what connections they have to my local nursery / schools.
Back it's lovely that you have no need to be anxious or afraid for your child's safety but as you can see here just from the posters on this thread, there is a real, present danger for many others. Can you not understand how bizarre it would be that we use masks on vulnerable kids - does the need for parents to record school plays really trump my son's right to a normal, unmasked school life? And masking a couple of additional people would equally not work - after all, they would rotate whereas my son would always be the angel with the fake beard!

As a parent of a child who has performed in some high profile productions, I would love to have some recordings and to have shown them on fb. I kept to the rules of no recording or photography and so did my dd. Parents smuggle phones in and get their kids to do it and within 30 mins its on their fb page.
These rules are there for a reason, I don't know how anybody could put a child in danger for a bloody nativity.
Go and watch, pay attention its far better than recording it anyway.

I cannot believe people are honestly suggesting children who may be at risk wear masks or beards to protect them from photos. Honestly MN beggars belief sometimes

I'm sure some of the people posting are genuine, but maybe the others would like to start a thread saying "I hate people taking photos and I think I'll use children's safety as an excuse to get my way".

No. I do not hate the concept of photographs. And I even return the consent forms about photography with a great big tick.

So, you might want to try again with that nasturtium.

I am doing my best to treat your proposals logically, that's all. Masking children who are at-risk relegates those children to only the masked pasts. Now, I place the child's right to take part in his/her own frigging school nativity as taking precedent over parents' right to film it. If it's so awful for full-grown adults to do without filming/seeing these precious moments, it must surely be worse to be a child who knows he or she can never participate on an equal footing because they're adopted/fostered/on the run from an abusive parent/in witness protection programme?

As a policy, well, word gets out. People would quickly clue in on it, even if a token non-at-risk child wore a mask too, so it would be isolating and stigmatising, and itself create a level of risk. If a child's identity is being protected for some reason, it's best not to alert every member of the audience that there is something to gossip about! I also rather think that eventually you'd get parents of children not at risk objecting to their own child taking a masked role for distraction purposes.

I'm not sure what your objection to sports day here is. It seems rather odd compartmentalisation of a year round issue. More threads pop up about it in the run up to Christmas than any other time, but we still get threads about filming/not filming sports day. Are you saying that if we started sticking children in masks for the Nativity, you will be perfectly amenable to no-photo policies for the sports day?

Don't care if people take photos of my kids. But I support the school policy that nobody takes any of anyone's, because of the risk to kids in vulnerable situations.

And the notion everyone understands Facebook settings is just wrong. 2 women I know never lock a single post.

Mothers at the school, I may add.

DD's school doesn't allow 'group' photographs for obviously sensible reasons, but they are very good and understanding about parents wanting a picture of their children all dressed up - assemblies/Nativity play, etc. So they allow a 10 minute slot at the end before the kids all rush away to get costumes off for parents to take pictures of their own children only. We all line up like sheep in multiple designated photo areas with our children and grab a few quick snaps. I know we all really appreciate it and it's been a popular move with parents.

Personally, I am one of those really annoying parents that loves to photograph everything. Dd is my only and will likely remain an only, so it's important to me to take as many pictures as I can so that we can look back at them all. Everything she does fascinates me and I'm always just so blinkin' proud of her that I like to have a keepsake for everything

However, I would never take photographs of other children and post them on the likes of FB. And I would be pretty angry to find other parents had posted pictures of my dd - you don't know what kind of settings other people have on social media accounts and therefore don't know who can see what. And sadly, there are some seriously unsavoury people out there

Vino, that's a nice idea your school have. Sensible and reasonable. :)

Another one here who has had school events ruined by people in front that photos and videos, they block the view for everyone else, I think that should be enough reason for a ban on cameras.

There was always a rather wishy washy request not to use flash photography during performances when dtds first joined their primary as it was distracting the children, but nothing seemed to be able to stop the selfish camcorder wavers in the front row and I got so fed up of not being able to see anything.

I was delighted when two A list celebrity's children joined the school, as the ban was finally properly enforced. Instead the whole thing was recorded properly with a decent camera on a tripod at the front, and an edited version where the two of interest to the redtops were either cut or artfully blurred was sold to parents at cost. (Celebrity mummy told me she bought an unedited version.) We could also photo our own children in costume after the show.

Funny enough when we was all in school only the rich parents had camcorders. To my mum photography was expensive.

I don't feel hard done by or that my parents don't have any in school pictures or video.

My greatest memory was my dad finishing early and making it to see my Christmas play.

I wouldn't have a problem not being able to take a photo or video.

Childrn need to feel safe and secure.

My child is not at risk. He is however disabled. He would not wear a mask due firstly to sensory issues and secondly that if he gets even slightly too warm he has horrible seizures. He hardly wears any clothes inside.

But, why the fuck should my child have his face splashed across social media for everyone to see he has special needs? (Because of the school)

Doesn't he have rights to privacy?

Doesn't that trump your right to take a photo that'll most likely be deleted or lost next year?

I take a shit load of photos. We were once told he would die in childhood and I realised I didn't have loads of photos of him and since then I've become obsessed with taking photos of him.

I still don't need to take any photos inside a school. Ever

Piper my parents never took photos or film of school plays either (child in the 80s). I don't even think it was a cost thing, it just wasn't the done thing. I certainly don't remember standing on the stage in the school hall and looking out to a sea of cameras. I do have pictures of me and my sister in costume before or after plays or concerts though - not sure why that's not good enough these days. I'm another one big enamoured by the sea of iPads held aloft at every event!

I don't understand why some parents can't just SIT DOWN AND WATCH the performance. This jumping around with cameras and phones is really annoying and disruptive.
And really... How often will you actually watch that video?

There are two sides to this, my sister's children were abducted by her ex. She was allowed to speak to them on the phone occasionally and older one begged to go home. It would have been great if she could have found them on social media instead of losing them for their whole childhood. The little one was pre school when taken and not seen again by our family until she was in her 20s.

The issue of phones/cameras being disruptive to the performance and other parents' enjoyment is a totally separate one to whether photos should be banned for child safety reasons.

AlpacaLypse that sounds like a fab option.

Hurr1cane so glad you are getting lots of photos of your son and sincerely hope he will surprise the specialists with living a long time (sorry that sounds a bit crap but I hope you know it is well meant!)

Oh grannytomine that is utterly terrible. I am sure the majority of people trying to find children/people are not in that same boat as your sister.

Italian, sorry I didn't make it clear in my post it was actually a misdiagnosis... A pretty bad one.

He has some form of rare genetic disorder and autism and other stuff but not neuro degenerate disorder like he was initially diagnosed with. I've just never forgotten the fear.

I think the point about 'masks' and 'beards' are that it is fine to use that as an extra form of protection if the parent/child concerned requests it.
However for other people to expect it or suggest it for their own convenience (i.e. so they can take pictures that include that child) is rather offensive.

I see it as analogous to my disability, which makes many situations difficult for me. If I decide not to, for example, go to a work outing because I don't want to need help from other people, then that's my prerogative. If they tell me not to come, because they find it inconvenient, then that feels offensive.

But I want to take photos! I do I do I do!

And I don't believe that it's really dangerous for anybody (despite all of you real people on this thread assuring me that it is and despite the link in the OP and despite what you all say about abusive parents and the birth parents of adopted and fostered children and all that jazz) because that would mean I can't take photos and I WANT TO!!!

So I've decided you're not really real people. There might be one or two of you who are real but you should just get your children big triangular KKK hoods and giant Mariarchi band moustachios to perform in BECAUSE I WANT TO TAKE PHOTOS!!!!!!!