To wonder if my appearance is putting potential 'suitors' off

[Raininginnovember]

Hm.

Now much as I'd love to believe my darling late father was right and I am beautiful it has to be said, I'm not. I'm certainly plain. I'm 33, and not having any luck in the meeting someone conventional routes of work, hobbies, ventured into online dating in April. One date resulted from this. I
He did not get back in touch after I texted to say lovely evening, must do it again I messaged a few others. Most ignored me but one replied to say I seemed lovely but was not his 'type'.

Then father died so all mad for a while. Tried a different dating site - nada, and then another, nothing.

I've concluded I must look dog rough ... I do wonder if most relationships are forged in the prime of youth when both are still quite attractive and over the years love grows to an extent so that gaining of weight and stretch marks and loss of teeth just don't matter, but having missed that boat my very ordinary looks just won't appeal?

Or am I wrong?

I hope I'm wrong, but the evidence doesn't look hopeful!

OP, I've never tried on-line dating but from all the complaints on here the majority of men who do it are after a quick screw and/or a target to sent pictures of their willies. So they will be looking for a woman that appears to be an easy target, and you should be relieved that you are not receiving that sort of attention.
Hopefully if you stick at it you will find one of the genuine ones that are hiding amongst the tossers. I think you should keep at it until the right one comes along. I wish you the very best of luck.

Is it just me or are you and Wips talking at completely cross purposes?

I keep looking for her "rude" post or one where she mentioned your late dad and its not there!

Hang in there, agree if its a site where they can see if you are online or not, defo go online a bit. Lots of men want instant responses and to get into a conversation and don't necessarily want to wait and if you respond because you are there you might get into a conversation you would not have otherwise had...

I met my bf via OD. He is (this is not just my biased opinion, my friends all say so too!) bloody gorgeous. He had been on various sites for nearly a year, no dates. He was on the verge of giving it up as a bad job when I messaged him.

Conversely, I'd been ODing on and off for years. Lots of messages which never led anywhere, a fair few dates with guys I never saw again. Ime, a lot just wanted a night out with a pretty girl (one admitted as much to me). Or just a ONS. Don't assume just because someone is on an od'ing site they're single, or looking for a relationship. Many aren't (mad, I know!)

There's no right answer. My bf wasn't doing anything wrong, his profile was great. But yet until me he never got a date. OD is so arbitrary and there's a huge amount of luck involved. Just because you don't seem to have much luck with OD doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong, or that you're not attractive enough to get offered dates. Given the number of pervs, weirdos, liars and cheats out there not being offered a date by any of them can only be viewed as a lucky escape!

I know wips didn't mention my late father but I was explaining why I hadn't 'stuck at it'.

I thought it was quite rude to say 'I'll ask AGAIN' as if I was deliberately ignoring the post and besides is already given the information in my first post but no worries :)

Oh right.

My friend does a lot of online dating, she's not what you'd call conventionally pretty, nor does she have any "wow" traits (that sounds mean but she doesn't really stand out in a crowd - she is by no means unattractive, but she's not the sort to turn heads if that makes sense) but she is persevering with the internet thing. She's getting plenty of dates, and she's had to kiss some real frogs, but she's seeing a bloke at the moment who seems pretty sound! So definitely stick with it and don't overthink the looks thing - I think your pondering over whether people pair off in their 20's when they are young and flawless is not really the case, though it may seem it sometimes when everyone seems to be a smug married for 8 and a half years-er!

Just to add (this is a very thought provoking topic) as part of an "old fashioned" couple (I got married in my early 20's to a lovely chap I met in the office, well in the pub after the office actually) (and there wasn't even texting in those days though we did have mobile phones!!!) - I think sometimes it is easier to meet in a more "organic" setting.

Sometimes a person you might have passed by scrolling through thumbnails on a website turns out to be the one. I possibly would have scrolled past my husband or put him in the "maybe one day" pile if I was shortlisting on the internet.

When you get to know someone whether its in an evening class, at work (sometimes frowned upon these days but I am still adamant this is the best way to meet someone you have things in common with and of the same "calibre") - you get to see aspects of their personality which make the whole package shine in a way they may not on a website.

So carry on with the internet stuff but don't rule out more traditional methods of "helping things along" like an evening class...I did an evening class after I had my first son and whilst I was married (and still am!) I was unwittingly attracting suitors who I had to rebuff . I reckon lots of single people do evening classes.

Go do bricklaying or something. You never know when it might come in handy