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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think she has no right?!

89 replies

CheerfulYank · 04/11/2014 05:52

Long story but I'm so upset. :(

I'm American. My great great grandparents came over from Finland long ago (I believe around 1910 but I may be wrong). They settled around a lake far up north (almost Canada) and built a house which has now fallen into disrepair.

They had several descendents. We're all pretty well spread out now but a few remained in the little town. My grandmother moved a thousand miles away but always brought her DC (including my father) back to the little town for holidays. My father loved it and when he grew up moved back there with my mother and brother and me. I was eight at the time so it's pretty much where I grew up. We didn't live on the land but about ten miles away. A descendent (my grandmother's cousin) and his wife lived there. We visited them often and so many of my childhood memories involve the lake and swimming and boating.

My grandparents put up a cabin on the lake when I was ten and would spend a few months every summer there. After my grandfather died, my grandmother began spending more time there.

She died last Christmas Eve. She left some money in trust to pay for the cabin's taxes but it will not last long. I've talked to DH and when the fund runs out we (and a few of my uncles and my parents) will split the cost so we can all use it as we all have happy memories and it's what my grandmother would have wanted. I love it there and want my DC to have memories there as well.

The descendent who lived there when I was a child and his wife are long since dead, but his son built a house and has been living there for several years now. He has a grown son who has developmental disabilities who lives with him and it has always been known that there is money set aside so that he will be able to stay in the house when his parents are gone.

As far as I knew, the land was set up so that it could not be sold, and that any proven direct descendent of my great grandparents could settle there as long as they paid their portion of the taxes. Obviously this was an informal agreement as not EVERYONE could live there, but as far as I knew no one wanted to. It's been this way for years.

My mother just told me today that two "cousins" of my dad's (their fathers would have been my grandmother's first cousins, I don't know what that makes them to me) have decided that they are going to sell the land.

I just don't...I'm in shock. They've never, ever had anything to do with it. My parents and grandparents and this other descendent were the ones who paid taxes all these years and looked after the place. It means something to us. Our ancestors never intended it to be sold, ever. I'm in tears at the thought.

The woman leading the charge is a millionaire already. What does she want with it? It means nothing to her and there are people living on it.

Because of the town (it's a tourist spot) the land may be worth a million or maybe even two million dollars. But surely there are at least a hundred of us to split it, maybe more. To me, it's not worth it. I need money more than she ever has or will but I would never sell. I'm in tears at the thought.

Maybe I'm being precious. Maybe I'll get flamed. Maybe she does have the right, at least legally. But oh, it hurts. Just the thought.

AIBU?

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 08/11/2014 20:23

Thank you Jennifer. :)

Lucy the original settlers didn't leave a will. So really my grandmother didn't "own" any of the land, though she did pay taxes. She owned the cabin itself but not the land under it.

OP posts:
guaranteedpersonality · 08/11/2014 20:35

Oh CheerfulYank how upsetting. I hope you can get this resolved in a way that lets your family enjoy your cabin for many more years to come.

Bettercallsaul1 · 09/11/2014 01:58

Just wanted to add my sympathy, Cheerful and hope that everything works out for you. It is very hard to cope with things like this when you are feeling so emotional, but try to concentrate on the factual issues and establish who owns how much of the land and see if you can put together a "bloc" of relatives who will oppose the sale. There is still everything to play for so don't give up!

I understand exactly how you feel about your family's land, and cabin - we have a small property in our family which we used for holidays and weekends when I was growing up and, like you, a lot of very happy memories and associations are invested in it. Like you, I hoped that our children would continue to benefit from it, and their children after that. You must feel that someone is trying to sell a piece of yourself -especially if your great grandparents fully intended it to stay in the family. Genuine commiserations and good luck.

angelohsodelight · 09/11/2014 08:35

Sorry if I missed it but have you actually contacted the local council to see who they have as the land owner? What do US Land Records office say?

bananaleaf · 09/11/2014 10:04

Wow this reminds me that George Clooney film The Descendants! How awful for you OP.

When my Dads cousin died his kids sold their holiday house straight away which seemed a shame at the time as it was a strong connection to the area for us for a long time. In hindsight though I think it was the best move as each child then has children etc it just gets too complicated and inevitably leads to falling out. But then I like things to be cut and dried.
Sorry OP not got any useful advice, but YANBU and the greedy cousins should leave well enough alone. Doesn't sound like they would get much out of it but happy to ruin it for everyone else in the meantime.

CheerfulYank · 09/11/2014 16:00

Angels the records say, as far as I know, that the last official owners were my great great grandparents, who did not leave a will.

I've done some cursory math...apparently there's over a 100 acres, which surprised me. Greedy Cousin would get 2. My dad and his siblings, if they keep their shares together, would control ten. There are about forty that are basically worthless...swampy etc, but they do serve as a buffer to keep anyone from building too close. Greedy cousin will want a piece of the (very small) lakeshore, I know. Apparently she and her brother are upset that my grandmother and grandfather put their cabin there...but no one was using it! No one ever said anything, and no one else ever stepped up to pay taxes on the place.

If we only have ten acres, to me that's more than fine, but I just really want them to be where the cabin is now.

Banana I haven't seen that film but always meant to. :)

OP posts:
zipzap · 09/11/2014 16:23

Unfortunately I've had dealings with lawyers about land issues due to greedy relatives SadAngry, albeit in the UK.

One of the things you can do here if the land is registered is speak to the Land Registry and get a restriction put on the land huge simplification of more complicated process! which means that if somebody tries to sell the land, they can't, they have to deal with the people that put the restriction on the land and get the restriction lifted. So either everybody sorts everything out to everybody's satisfaction, or one side legally proves something that stops everything or lets everything go through. However, it does have the advantage of stopping the land from being sold if there is an issue with it.

Is there anything similar in the US that you could do to prevent the land from being sold?

Also - are there any squatters rights laws? Over here, at least until recently, you could claim ownership of land or a building you had been using without anybody telling you not to. Not just walking along a path but substantial and sole use (again huge over simplification) and it had to be for at least 12 years, then got changed to 20 I think and I'm not sure if it's been done away with now. But if there was something like that, that could be used to claim all the bits that you actively use then that would be good for you guys.

CheerfulYank · 09/11/2014 16:30

My grandmother put the cabin up over 20 years ago but it has only been used in the summer...I wonder if squatter's rights still apply. I will check!

OP posts:
angelohsodelight · 09/11/2014 17:38

So why dont you contact the US Land Records office and see if you can stake a claim. No offence, but you dont see to be very proactive, you seem to be more focused on the family relationships and politics, but perhaps i am wrong.

CheerfulYank · 09/11/2014 19:35

According to the lawyer, that is not how it works.

None of us have any more claim than the other.

I care about my relationship with my parents, uncles, and cousins, but beyond that I don't give a shit.

The lawyer has emailed and apparently they are going to do something called "Decree of Descent" if someone wants to shell out $5000 to pay the surveyor. I'm not sure what will happen then.

No one is open now (it's Sunday) but I can try to make some calls on Monday. I'm going to start with my friend's father, who worked in property law.

We have no money for lawyers or anything else right now, so I'm doing the best that I can.

OP posts:
flyingspaghettimonster · 09/11/2014 21:54

Sorry cheerful :( legal advice is the I t option unless maybe you could get the land valued and then figure exact number of inheritants and then buy out richbitch together? Then cut her out of the family, like the toxic windbag she is.

My granddad died last week and their home was to me what this place is to you. My only place in England I love... And it is bring torn apart, all the relatives taking everything of value and the rest to charity shops before a make over and sale. I hate all my family right now for thinking the few grand the children (not grand children) will inherit is worth losing this special place. I know how you feel and it is shitty :(

sykadelic · 10/11/2014 19:59

Thinking positive for you!!

CharmQuark · 10/11/2014 21:04

Whose lawyer is doing a decree of descent? The Greedy Cousin's, or yours?

CheerfulYank · 10/11/2014 21:58

It is the lawyer the Greedy Cousin contacted, Charm, but apparently she is working for all of us. Hmm

I can't afford a lawyer on my own, am trying to if the family can go in together on one who does not have GC's best interest at heart.

Am going to take your earlier advice and start a thread in legal now. I haven't had time previously to sit down and hammer it all out.

OP posts:
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