to be disappointed in some mumsnetters

[Jemima1988]

My mum started me on mums net last year when I really needed advice and help regarding a few different issues.
I wasn't keen on the idea originally but I got a lot of helpful responses to my posts and mumsnet is now a daily Pitstop for me.
recently I have seen people being horrible, bitchy and downright mean regarding peoples problems or their English skills.
when did we stop being helpful and supportive?

"I've seen people openly admit on a thread that they are in tears."

But like some MNers are bitches, some MNers manipulate to get others to say what they want.

As a long standing lurker, name changer and poster, I have to say that we always get periods of some posters acting like arses and periods of some people complaining that MN has 'recently' got worse. It hasn't but it does go through cycles.

It's a mixed bag on here...always has been, always will be. I understand what you're saying - even as a strident poster myself, I am occasionally taken aback by the force of someone's vitriol or bargy-seeking. To say I was disappointed wouldn't be quite right though - I don't have any expectations, so I'm not 'let down' as such...which is what disappointed means.

There is no mould we can all conform to. The only thing we mostly share in common is being women, and all women are not the same. Some are nice, some are not. Some, like me, are nice some days and not on others.

If you are looking for consistent hair stroking and back patting you will not find it here. I can't imagine where you would.
I don't think you've got any business feeling disappointed. None of us promised you a thing.

They might be, there is no need to be horribal to the poster. Some might not occur to them to hide the thread.

There are always going to be a handful of arsey posters looking for the opportunity to stick the boot in.

That's life in general, don't you think?

Ignore them or pull them up on their behaviour.

I don't uphold the PA pedantry, but I do get slightly irritated at the idea that not having the opportunity to go to a good school has anything to do with the more blatant grammar errors. I just don't believe that anyone goes through 11 years of compulsory education in, usually, two different schools with a number of different teachers without being told that "could of" is wrong and that there is no such word as "alot". In fact I don't really know how so many people manage that one, I just had massive problems making my iPad accept it without correcting it.

When people genuinly need help then this place is fantastic

When people need telling they are being daft then they are good at doing that. They won't agree with someone just to keep them happy. Sometimes that leads to accusations of bitchiness/bullying but most (not all) of the time it is actually just outsiders giving a realistic view from the information they get given. Tough love is needed sometimes

And I agree with pictish's last comment, you don't know us so no need for the disappointment, a bit patronising really.

It goes in cycles, for every thread where the OP claims to be upset, there will be 10 more from a first time poster stating something completely ridiculous.

Then it dies down for a bit.

At the moment there seems to be a load of posts in AIBU with an OP refusing to concede in anyway or form that they might be wrong, even after pages of posts.

But what else would you expect during half term?

YANBU for feeling disappointed by some mumsnetters. You can't help how you feel.

The thing is, though, mumsnetters are people, and people are not perfect.

Hopefully you have had good support when you needed it, and can try to give good support to others in return.

Icimoi I'm 39 and can't do long division, even though it was thoroughly covered in school. I was disengaged from maths, but I excelled in English.

When I was at school I thought English was everyone's favourite subject, and was far and away the easiest as well. I didn't realise at the time that other people found it laborious, difficult, boring or confusing. It came naturally to me, unlike maths which confuddled me from the outset. My grasp of mathematics is very basic.
I imagine that for other people, the same is true of grammar.

We're all different.

I just find the nice and wise voices always win through in the end. I have very occasionally been a bit upset by comments when I've started something a little controversial in AIBU. Expect no mercy there!

juggling I would agree with that. The voice of reason does typically win through in the end.
That's so cool, don't you think?

Yeh, very cool pictish
Feel I've learnt alot here

when did we stop being helpful and supportive? I can still be blown away by the support and kindness on some threads.

Keep it all in perspective, hide topics and stick to the fluffy ones for a bit. if you've lost perspective and it's really getting to you then it's best to take a break I imagine!

YaNBU.

There is no other answer to this thread surely. Unless people are fighting dor the right to be arseholes

Absolutely, Pictish. So don't try to blame mistakes on a deprived childhood educationally, and don't look for excuses. Just ignore people picking up on errors as an excuse to attack.

Fanjo - you see, your post there could objectively be considered provocative and insulting...so are you fighting for yours?

Did I hit a raw nerve pictish?

No..I was being lighthearted hence the grin

fighting for the right to be arseholes
Hahahaha-love it!

Personally, I don't mind other people's arseholery that much on here. I'm not expecting a soothe-fest and I'm pretty thick skinned.
I'm more irritated by sanctimony than anything else on here, and even that goes over my head with a pfft noise.

Do arseholes know they are arseholes? I always wondered that

There is pedantry and bitchiness but usually within limits.

For instance, I don't believe that a devastated OP posting a thread entitled

My xxx relative has just died. Is there anything I could of done to prevent it?

would actually be met with a chorus of corrections.

Don't bite people