House party with alcohol, DD 15. wwyd?

[Gymbob]

She's been invited to her first house party. The parents are supervising as there is a 9 year old brother inviting some of his friends. All ok. Then she casually mentioned last night that they are allowing alcohol to be consumed in the garden. I was like . She said it's ok I won't get drunk. She has definitely never drunk any alcohol before. I have got the parents number to ring. The party is tonight. All the kids attending the party are under age.

She didn't have to tell me that there will be booze there, but as I'm picking DD and her friend up it may have become apparent.

DH says we can't condone that, and I agree.

Am I over reacting?

Any opinions at all would be fab, before I wade in with my size nines

I think that, much as you may dislike it, you need to accept it. You know the score and they've been honest with you and they will come into contact with alcohol at some point. If you make a fuss then they won't tell you next time and will do it anyway.
The questions I'd be asking of the parents is what they were going to do to prevent overconsumption. If I was allowing it then I'd be checking how much alcohol was available and what alcohol it was.

OP, why did you google the street?!

I wouldn't be happy with this. It is a children's party with 9 year olds there. They don't need alcohol. I would tell her that, at 15, she is too young for alcohol at a party and get her soft drinks to take. Make sure she knows she can call you to get her at any time if things get out of hand. Under no circumstances would I let my 9 year old go to this party.

Ds2 (17) was at a house party last week. He doesn't like alcohol so I knew he wouldn't drink but I was worried as the parents were away. There was no alcohol there. They don't need it to have fun.

she only turned 15 last week.

I did put an embarrassed icon after admitting I googled the street. I did it because i'm nosey and wondered what kind of houses they were

and yes I know what you're going to say

My just turned 15 ds went to a party a few weeks back told me beforehand there would be alcohol and the parents would be in and out of the house but they could only drink in the garage and garden i did the embarrassing mum bit and told him if he got drunk the next party he went to id go with him in my batman jamas ,,,,we picked him up at midnight he was a bit giggly got home pigged out on my chinese and went to bed was up next morning before me and went out , i then saw him at 2 when he was feeling a bit rough and his hangover was starting to kick in he then confessed he had only had 2 bottles of beer ,,,we got a message though at tea time from the party givers parents saying what a pleasant boy he was and after his second bottle had gone on pop because he didnt want to subject his friends to my jamas

lovely story moo lady. I have a reindeer onesie, maybe I should do the same

I've no kids yet,so take this with a large dose of salt,but I would not be happy with this. I see absolutely no reason why 14 and 15 year olds need alcohol at parties. Is it really so difficult to have fun without a drink?

And yes I know that many/most teens drink at this age,but it's certainly not something I'd care to encourage them with.

A drink on special occasions,such as Christmas is one thing, but I wouldn't want them to go to a party at this age,where I can't be confident that their intake is monitored.

Call me a grumpy sod,but I really hate the drinking culture in the UK.

Relax. They're just being normal. You're more likely to get problems if you make a fuss. Young people have to learn to deal with alcohol. Mine grew up in the west of Scotland - summers spent 'camping' on the beach. I put the emphasis on personal safety and waited for them to grow out of it. Which they did. Remember, you're their role model in life - if it's something you can handle, so can they.

It sounds like a bloody awful party, a gang of 9 year old's interspersed with a gang of pissed up teens... The parents must be bloody mad.

op an embarrassed face is

not

I think that the key period here is what's happened over the last 15 years. What have you taught your daughter about alcohol? What experiences has she had regarding alcohol?

Just be careful that you don't unwittingly punish her for being honest with you.
I don't entirely blame you for googling the street as its more dangerous to be a bit tipsy in some environments than others. However the type of house is no real indication of how sensible the parents are.
I would just talk to her about being careful and let her go.
If (and I think its unlikely) she isn't sensible then she won't be going to any more parties for a while.

what do you mean vivacia?

googling will only tel you as much as you cna see with your eyes.

Do you, Coco? I do this... I like to know roughly where dd is.

R4roger I mean that when it comes to adult issues such as sex, drink, drugs, violence etc worrying about it when the young person has access to the drugs or is big enough to physically hurt you or whatever, it's too late to start worrying about it. It's what they've learned as a child that matters.

funny you should ask that viv. I hadn't mentioned it, as she is for all intents and purposes my daughter, but she is in foster care with me, has been for years. alcohol abuse was and still is in the birth family.

she knows all about it.

roger, I am now!

she knows all about it.

But what does that mean? It could mean anything!

I think you would be naive to think that parties at age 15 don't have alcohol at them, tbh. Whether the parents supply it or not, teenagers certainly will.

All you can do is either stop your dd going, or preferably have an open and frank conversation with her and trust her not to over indulge.

(Or it could mean that you have no worries whatsoever - she understands the risks and implications and will be 100% confident and sensible from the get-go).