Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to insist me and dh go to a weeding even though he is not one of the 5 best man

67 replies

bonded · 30/10/2014 17:23

OK so this is all going to sound very teenage, I apologize.

Me and dh have been invited to a weeding with two months notice. We have a holiday booked but were planing on just letting the flights go to waste to attend this local wedding. Its with someone dh went to uni with. Yesterday dh found out that there are 5 best men and he isn't one of them. He is a bit offended as he thought he was closer. Now he's saying forget it let's just go on holiday.

Im kind of putting my foot down to say we should go, although id really rather go on holiday but don't think that is the right thing to do.

I don't think it is about not valuing dh friendship, one of the best men the groom doesn't even get on with but I'm sure asked him as he was his best man. The groom probably didn't ask dh as he looks on the surface to be quite chilled out.

Should I be trying to perswade dh to go?

OP posts:
Original poster
bonded · 30/10/2014 17:25

Oh at my typos, I'm sorry. Stuck in the office on my mobile waiting for someone :(

OP posts:
TheLostPelvicFloorOfPoosh · 30/10/2014 17:25

If you really want to go to a weeding, my garden could do with a good going over.

(And I'd choose the holiday)

ArabellaTarantella · 30/10/2014 17:26

And mine - my front garden is a weeding disgrace Grin

indigo18 · 30/10/2014 17:27

Nah, go on holiday.

QuintsTombWithAWiew · 30/10/2014 17:27

Dont bother, they are his mates, he knows the dynamics, and they were uni mates, and you are adults now I suppose?

FelicityGubbins · 30/10/2014 17:28

I would go on holiday, because it was already booked and what is essentially a party (as there is no role for either of you in the wedding ) doesn't trump it.

LIZS · 30/10/2014 17:28

Go on holiday and let them get on with it. Who has 5 "best" men anyway ?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 30/10/2014 17:29

It's his mate - so I think it has to be 100% up to DH whether you go or not. And let's face it, 'we've already booked a holiday' is a cast iron excuse, it's not as if they're going to fall out with you over it.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 30/10/2014 17:31

Go on holiday you mad person !Shock; a lovely week away is way better than attending a wedding for just one day.

ShakeYourTailFeathers · 30/10/2014 17:31

If DH says he'd rather go on holiday than attend his friend's wedding i'd go on holiday for sure

Monathevampire1 · 30/10/2014 17:33

Pre booked holiday beats any old guest at a wedding. You can't make him go to the wedding.

MelonOfTroy · 30/10/2014 17:34

You've already booked your holiday. I'd definitely not cancel a holiday for a last minute wedding invitation.

If the bloke is your DPs mate and he's not fussed then I'd send apologies and a nice present and feel fine about it. I don't imagine it's a real friendship destroyer.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/10/2014 17:34

Go on holiday, why waste the flights. He's not as close as he thought? Your dh wants to go on holiday, so go. You both want to, so go. Don't think the bride and groom will be too bothered somehow

Coconutty · 30/10/2014 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lemisscared · 30/10/2014 17:35

Go on holiday. Its nit even Your friend.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/10/2014 17:35

If it's last minute, then simebody might have pulled out.

CrispyFern · 30/10/2014 17:37

Go on holiday!

Ragwort · 30/10/2014 17:37

Of course you should go on holiday if you've already booked it and admit you would rather go anyway Confused - don't accept a wedding invitation just because you think it is the 'right' thing to do.

Most hosts expect a few guests to have prior commitments anyway.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 30/10/2014 17:42

If you'd rather go on holiday... And dh isn't fussed... Then go on holiday. It seems startlingly obvious to me. Sorry op!

DayLillie · 30/10/2014 17:42

Well, I was going to say Go to the Weeding - any weeding with 5 best men must be good spectator sport Hmm

However, since you have your holiday is booked and DH wants to go on holiday, then that would probably be more fun, in reality.

If your DH is feeling put out at not being invited to be the sixth best man, he has a point.

carlsonrichards · 30/10/2014 17:43

You would waste money and not go on holiday to go to a wedding? Seriously? That's ridiculous.

You've made other plans before you know about the wedding.

Go on holiday.

flowery · 30/10/2014 17:46

If you only give people two months' notice of the wedding, you have to expect a fair proportion of the guests to be unable to attend. Go on the holiday.

BolshierAyraStark · 30/10/2014 17:47

Why would you have 5 best men? Ridiculous, go on holiday.

WineWineWine · 30/10/2014 17:48

Why on earth would you want to go to this wedding?
That's just weird. What point are you trying to prove and to who?
Just go on holiday!

WooWooOwl · 30/10/2014 17:50

It would be crazy to give up a holiday to go to a wedding of DHs friends when he doesn't even want to go.

Are you trying to be cool, liberal wife or something? I really can't understand why you'd want to go so much.

Swipe left for the next trending thread