To be miffed at being told to take dn to zoo after agreeing to look after her for the day?

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...whilst her Mum works and I have my own 4 to manage on half term....love my dn...love having her over to play with her cousins....but dont appreciate ds telling me to take her to the zoo tomorrow!...I unassertively said - "depends on the weather" rather than "Fuck off she will rub along with our plans !!

That is ridiculous! (As in, your sister´s behaviour). You are right to feel it´s unreasonable. Could your sister have got her wires crossed and thought she heard something about the zoo? Either way with 4 cousins your niece is not going to feel bored tomorrow. Enjoy your day together.

It would be bad enough if you were just babysitting your niece and didn't have kids of your own. But she's basically saying, "Fund a trip for six to the zoo so my precious can go." No chance! Unless she wants to pay, of course? YANBU, but SIBU.

Let her know how grateful you are that she is buying tickets for all the children plus yours and another adult to help you with all these children.

Is she paying for you all?
It has to be a resounding no otherwise!

Has she provided money or a car seat or made a picnic?

Then no sorry she fits in with whatever you are doing.

Nope no money, support or understanding that I have my own 4 kids - all diff ages and needs her rationale was "....as we haven't done anything for half term as I have been working..." !!! she is a cheeky, domineering fuck my sister but I hate myself for being passive aggressive -- as in i respond with "depends on the weather" and what I really meant was the zoo will be the last place we go...!

Fuck off is a complete sentence

Thanks for buying entrance tickets and food for 6 for a day out. Oh and the two bottles of wine I'll need to recover.

I had this where mil buggered off to eurodisney with my 2 oldest dc - no problem happy they were getting a treat there was no way I could afford....

She leaves cards for my younger 2 explaining that she would take them another time but to be sure to enjoy Legoland with mum and she wanted to hear all about it when she got back!!!!!

No money offered - cue me scrabbling round for tesco vouchers and Kellogg's adult free passes in order to stretch my benefits as I could not disappoint them bitch!!!!

Needless to say relations are now somewhat strained....

Yanbu

She took 2 of your kids to eurodisney as you couldn't afford it? You are right, what a bitch, better steer clear, she might take the others too.

YANBU! I thought my mate was cheeky when she ordered me to get her 2 year old McDonald's for his supper one evening as she knew he'd eat it and "it's no bother"

Well it was for me! But the zoo!

Come on Jana. Revealing conditions like that in that manipulative way is not on no matter how much you spend on someone.

My point was that I couldn't afford to take the little 2 to legoland and she dropped me in the shit twice - first when I had to explain they couldn't go to eurodisney with their older siblings then announcing they were off to legoland without telling me first.

Believe me I was chuffed that she was taking the older 2 - never in a million years could I have afforded that ...... Hopefully she will come good on her promise and take the younger ones sone day.

That is so cheeky. For what it's worth I don't think you handled it badly sometimes non committal deflection rather than head on confrontation is the best strategy. Is she likely to ask WHY you haven't gone to the zoo tomorrow though? If so you can have your assertive answer prepared if you're still stewing on it.

Can't your sister be arsed to take her dc to the zoo when she is off work? (Weekend? )

Zoo is open every weekend?

I think a pertinent question would be - does your dn think you will be taking her? You could have a very disappointed child to deal with if your sister has said it is happening.

SILIBU

That would really annoy me. Depends how she said it though - did she think she was making a helpful suggestion, thinking you might not know what to do with 4 children all day? Or was it a "DN wants to go to the zoo, so you must take her as she gets everything she wants?".

And the post about MIL telling your kids they were going to legoland is awful! I don't care if she was taking your older ones to euro disney, yes that is generous of her, but to deliberately potentially really upset the younger ones is bordering on cruel. There is no way I could suddenly find the money for legoland so if it had been me I wouod have had two bitterly disappointed and very upset children, who had already been left out by their grandma. That's incredibly mean :(

lemonade.....eerr my 4 children are older than her daughter -- so I think I might have some insight on how to manage 5 kids all day....so was not a helpful suggestion....the 2nd option is the reality.

Also my ds only works 4 days so is off Fridays -- but they are dedicated to her gym routine, treatments and yummy mummy lunches - which in half term dn will get dragged along to.....

No, your response was perfect. If your sister mentions it again, be ready with a large fake smile, and tell her it would be much nicer for her to bring the child (and yours ) to the zoo, on her day off, and give you a break.

YANBU